Polygamy and monogamy in relationships between a man and a woman: what does it mean?

Psychologists and sociologists have long been studying human nature. Family psychology deals with the psychology of relationships and marriage.

Family psychology

Since ancient times, the family has been considered the social unit of society. It is born as a result of a marital relationship between a man and a woman. Marriage and family relations of any state are regulated by legal acts. In Russia, the main documents regulating marital relations are the Constitution of the Russian Federation and the Family Code of the Russian Federation. At the same time, in different countries the attitude towards marriage is not the same: in some places polygamy and polygamy are welcomed, in others monogamous marriage and fidelity to each other are encouraged. Russia is characterized by a monogamous way of family life, while Eastern countries are characterized by polygamy.

What is monogamy

Monogamy is a traditional marriage union between a man and a woman based on mutual love. The woman in a monogamous family is faithful to her husband, and the man is faithful to his wife. This form of family relationships has existed for many millennia. Historians claim that this form of relations between the opposite sex appeared long before man began to be considered reasonable.

The primitive man protected only the woman with whom he had regular sex. He did not take part in raising children, but he provided his woman with food and protected her from other men. At first, women preferred the strongest man, but over time they began to value qualities such as attentiveness and caring.

In modern society there is such a thing as external monogamy. What is this type of monogamy? This is a relationship between a married man or a married woman with someone on the side. In this case, monogamy and polygamy are observed simultaneously.

In addition, sociologists say that serial monogamy has appeared in modern society. What it is? This social phenomenon involves a person having several marriages throughout his life. At the same time, partners are faithful to each other in marriage, but one day the relationship ends in divorce. Each of the participants in this union enters into a new relationship, a new marriage.

Happy marriage after divorce

Attention! Studying the nature of gender relations, scientists came to the conclusion that monogamy is a law that is inherent in animals and is unquestioningly observed in communities of predators. In a wolf pack or pride of lions, males organize fights in which the winner receives a “prize” - a female. Another example of the animal kingdom being monogamous is swan fidelity. Regarding the human nature of relationships, experts are in no hurry to claim that it is characterized by monogamy, because there are many examples of polygamous behavior of people.

Deep understanding of polygamy

Let's look at a deep understanding of what polygamy is.

Polygamy is free and pure love, where there are no frames, rules, concepts or restrictions .

Speaking of bed, it should also be said that polygamy is more harmonious (but optional) when it comes to relationships.

Why can you say this?

Polygamy is, first of all, an understanding of the most important internal psychological and spiritual aspects , as well as a slightly greater level of harmony , allowing:

Don't be jealous and don't be afraid of losing your partner.
Do not be an owner and understand that everything in this world comes and goes.
Be more “ in the moment ” and not judge your partner for anything and anywhere.
There are also a number of other positive points.

There is only one problem that I had at that time - I believed that polygamy obliges me to have relationships with many women and make love to them.

I constantly tried to keep in touch with them all.

This problem is more related to strong dissatisfaction (which many men have nowadays), as well as the inability to manage their physiological energy (which is also a rather abstract expression for most men).

When a man manages his needs, and not vice versa, it turns out that he doesn’t need many women, and he no longer strives to close his desires with each new woman (of course, there are very rare exceptions).

In the end, he may lose interest in making love altogether, but that will be a slightly different topic.

Benefits of Monogamy

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For modern society, monogamy is considered a socially approved model of behavior. Marriage is supposed to be a union between two people of opposite sex. Any deviations from this form of marriage and family relations are considered immoral and condemned in society.

Discussions about what a monogamous and polygamous family is, and which one modern people need, have been going on for several years. From the point of view of psychologists and sociologists, monogamy is the most beneficial form of marriage and family relations. It has the following advantages:

Monogamy provides better care for offspring.
Polygamy requires a lot of expense, because you need to make sure that every woman is happy. It is easier to support and provide for one woman than several.
Caring for one woman requires fewer emotional resources and allows you to save energy for doing what you love and communicating with friends.
Polygyny sooner or later leads to quarrels between women, which negatively affect a man’s relationship with each of them.
By bearing children from one man, in accordance with the principles of monogamy, a woman provides equal chances of success for her offspring in terms of genetic characteristics.
Monogamy is a progressive form of marriage. This means that such a family has powerful development potential. The couple sets the goal not only to enjoy sexual contact and care for children, but also, accordingly, to ensure a successful future for their descendants, to give them a good education, and to raise them as worthy members of society.

Polygamy

Polygamy is accompanied by serious psychological problems: constant emotional stress, rivalry, jealousy, dissatisfaction with the dual status. This means that for men, monogamy is a more advantageous relationship option, both materially and psychologically.
The economic system of most countries determines the existence of monogamy. Determining the right of inheritance is only possible if there is documentary evidence of paternity. With multiple family relationships, establishing the right of inheritance is complicated. In addition, polygamy is economically unprofitable, as it upsets the balance of men and women in society.

Important! Scientists, discussing what monogamy and polygamy are, came to the conclusion that these are opposite characteristics inherent in female and male nature. Women are monogamous and men are polygamous. This is explained by a woman’s desire to create a family with a single chosen one and a woman’s desire to become a mother. Men are in no hurry to start a family; they strive for variety in sex and self-affirmation through the number of sexual partners. Society is more tolerant of polygamy in men than in women having multiple partners.

General information

A polygamous person is able to simultaneously create relationships with several people at once. Such an alliance will be successful only if all its participants know about each other and are satisfied with the current situation. It should be understood that a marital relationship in which one of the partners has an affair is not considered polygamy. In this case, there is treason.

Monogamy is a type of relationship characteristic of most people, when there is one woman for one man. Monogamy defines feminine nature. In most cases, a woman does not think about another partner, even if she is unhappy in her marriage, as she tries to maintain fidelity and family hearth.

There are three types of polygamous relationships:

polyandry is a marriage in which there is one wife and several husbands;
polygyny - a relationship between one man and several wives;
Bigamy is a type of polygyny when one man has two wives. In this case, one wife does not know about the existence of the other.

Every person hopes that his partner will be faithful only to him.

How is it different from polygamy?

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The difference between monogamy and polygamy is the number of participants in the marriage relationship. In most countries, the socially approved structure of family relationships is a mixed-sex dyad. This means that society only approves of marriages where the union is between a man and a woman. There are also communities where they are calm about a man having several wives or a woman having several husbands.

Varieties of Monogamy

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There are several types of monogamous relationships.

Family

Family monogamy

A married monogamous person marries one partner and remains faithful to him. This type of monogamy is divided into:

Monogamy is a marriage with one partner without adultery or divorce. Once married, people live in marriage all their lives, run a family household, raise children, and enter into intimate relationships only with each other.
Consecutive conclusion of several marriages. While married, spouses remain faithful to each other. Before entering into a new marriage, the existing one is dissolved.

Social

This type of relationship involves two people living in the same territory, running a household, and raising children. Partners do not cheat on each other, but for various reasons such relationships are not legalized: spouses do not go to the registry office, wanting to save money, effort, and time. This type of monogamy is also called cohabitation.

intimate

This type of monogamy involves sex with only one person. In this case, the partners do not live together and do not maintain a household. This type of monogamy is present at the dating stage and during premarital relationships.

Genetic

This is a variant of intimate monogamy, as a result of which a child is born. This variety allows you to confirm the genetic similarity of father and child.

Monogamy in relationships

“People meet, people fall in love, get married...” - this is what is sung in one famous song. During adolescence, everyone falls in love several times and changes partners. Unexpectedly flared up feelings also suddenly go out. There is nothing wrong. Boys and girls are looking for their soul mate, trying themselves in relationships. Psychologists say that the experience of teenage dating is necessary for the formation of ideas about ideal relationships.

Interesting fact. Psychological studies were conducted, during which scientists were able to identify an interesting feature. Boys and girls who did not date or date as teenagers are more likely to be unhappy in their marriages. Their divorce rate is higher than that of those who often changed partners in their youth. Some of them don’t get married at all because they couldn’t find their man.

Wedding

A wedding is the logical result of love feelings that arise between a man and a woman. Lovers want to merge into one whole, to belong only to each other - it is precisely these considerations that drive them when they go to the registry office. They have mutual respect, tenderness and care for each other. If their feelings are sincere, if they made the right choice, then in such a union there will be no place for thoughts of betrayal and affairs on the side. In this case, the family becomes ideal for living in society and having children.

Interesting. Social sciences have highlighted the benefits of monogamous relationships. But this does not mean that polygamy has no right to exist. It is necessary to take into account the fact that some people do not initially plan to get married; for them it is more pleasant to have short-term intimate relationships with several partners. For creative people, this is one of the options for finding a muse: writers, poets, artists and musicians, falling in love once again, are inspired to create a masterpiece. The creative process takes a lot of energy. Having completed a masterpiece, the creator feels empty; for new creative ideas he needs new love.

Endless debate

While different people are compatible in different unions, the ongoing debate regarding monogamy and polygamy has not yet died down. In much of society (and many religions), monogamy is seen as a sign of a loving, committed, and true relationship. Marriage is especially perceived as a partnership. Which should consist of only two people, thus leaving everyone else. However, the above-mentioned traditional beliefs have been challenged on several points.

People who question the validity of monogamy often describe this type of partnership as outdated, unnatural and restrictive. High divorce rates, reports of infidelity and sexual boredom are also cited as reasons to oppose monogamy. People who share the previous perception usually cite polygamy as a healthy alternative for consenting adults. More companions, higher incomes, and constant sexual variety are often cited as disadvantages of polygamous relationships.

Why are men polygamous and women monogamous?

The public consciousness has developed many stereotypes regarding male and female fidelity:

Men always go to the left!
Women are waiting for a prince on a white horse!
Not the father who conceived, but the one who raised.
How many years, and still no husband!

The dominant forms of marriage and family relations of a particular society are determined by its way of life and national traditions. Scientists are confident that polygamy and monogamy are historical forms of sex-role behavior, borrowed by humans from animals. So, in animals, the male is the food provider, the female is the producer of offspring. The male's job is to make offspring, the female's job is to make sure the cubs survive. In nature, males are responsible for population size. If a male impregnated only one female, species diversity on the planet would be greatly reduced. At the same time, if the female did not take care of the cubs, they would die. That is why society is lenient towards a husband’s infidelity, and women’s infidelity is most often condemned: “Who will she leave her children with now?”, “She only thinks about herself, she has children!”

Conviction for treason

In addition, hormonal levels differ between men and women. Thus, testosterone, which causes sexual attraction to a woman, is produced in a larger volume in the male body than in the female body. Men think about sex more often than women, which is why they cheat more often.

Important! To prevent the population from falling, men must impregnate women, and each woman must choose the most promising partner for herself in order to increase her chance of giving birth to a healthy, viable child. At the same time, polygamy is not widespread, because this type of family relationship does not allow for clarity in the distribution of responsibilities between the sexes.

Ideal for family relationships

They say that each person builds his own happiness, decides for himself who to sleep with, who to live with, and whether to start a family. Everyone also has their own ideal version of family relationships. It is determined by a person’s law-abiding nature, his value system and level of moral culture. For most people, monogamy is an example of an ideal relationship, but this does not give them the right to condemn adherents of alternative forms of marriage.