Why a wife doesn't love her husband and what to do

Why the wife stopped loving her husband: reasons for the fading of feelings

If a man wants to save the relationship and avoid divorce, first of all he needs to understand why the wife stopped loving her husband. The reasons for the fading of feelings can be very different. Most often, a woman loses interest in her husband because:

• She was tired of monotony and routine. This is especially evident when a woman is on maternity leave. Not being able to freely leave the house and do the things she loves, she becomes depressed. The situation gets worse if the husband is in no hurry to help with the child, does nothing around the house and often spends time outside the home. Chronic fatigue and the eternal “Groundhog Day” lead to the fact that the husband begins to irritate, and feelings for him fade away;
• The spouse's hidden shortcomings come to light. At the beginning of a relationship, a man and a woman see only the positive qualities of each other. Minor flaws are not given any importance, and sometimes they even make you smile. After some time, the husband’s negative qualities become more obvious and begin to irritate the woman. As a result, conflicts arise out of nowhere, and constant negativity from quarrels and scandals kills feelings for a loved one;
• A woman is influenced from outside. If the wife’s relationship with her mother-in-law does not work out, or the mother-in-law hates her son-in-law and constantly tells her daughter how bad he is, the relationship between the spouses may deteriorate. Sometimes friends and girlfriends of lovers oppose the union, pitting them against each other. At first it seems that all this is nonsense, and love will cope with all obstacles. But over time, spouses begin to listen to the advice of third parties, especially during quarrels with their significant other;
• She was tired of constant financial difficulties. Oddly enough, money, or rather the lack of it, has a detrimental effect on the relationship between spouses. The wife begins to express dissatisfaction with her husband’s low salary, considers him a loser and incapable of anything. She ceases to see her spouse as a support and feels protected;
• Her husband pays little attention to her. Every woman wants to hear compliments, feel loved and desired. If all this is missing, the girl develops a feeling of loneliness and gradually loses interest in her husband;
• Husband's bad habits and domestic violence. If a spouse abuses alcohol, suffers from drug addiction, or raises his hand against his wife in a fit of anger, warm feelings and love can be forgotten forever;
• Problems in bed. Different temperaments and sexual preferences, the inability to discuss their fantasies and desires result in the refusal of spouses to have sex with each other. This leads to the husband and wife moving away from each other, first physically and then spiritually.

There are other reasons for the fading of feelings for a spouse. In any case, each family has its own nuances and subtleties. The exact answer to the question of why a wife stopped loving her husband can only be given by the man himself, having analyzed his relationship with his wife recently and talked frankly with her.

How to return the feelings of your beloved wife

Relationship psychology teaches that any problem in a relationship between a man and a woman is always the fault of both. Therefore, if your wife decides to leave you and declares a lack of feelings, find the reasons, and then build on them to find ways to save the family. You can return its location in several ways:

1. Frank conversation - choose a moment when you are both calm. After this, try to discuss the problem, analyze the relationship, identify the reasons, but so that it does not develop into another scandal.
2. Apology - if you know what kind of offense offended your wife, led to a cooling of feelings, apologize. You can organize a pleasant surprise. Even if you once decided to cheat on your spouse, the chances of forgiveness are slim, but it’s worth trying to beg for forgiveness.
3. Make her fall in love with you again - remember for what actions and qualities she once fell in love with you. Try to demonstrate all this again, help her in solving any problems, show interest in her and her life.
4. Listen to criticism - try to bring your wife into a frank conversation so that she directly expresses all her complaints against you. After listening to all this, you will be able to soberly assess whether it makes sense to maintain the relationship, whether you can change for her sake.
5. Break up - if she wants to leave, give her freedom. Let her live alone, think through all the pros and cons of loneliness, so that she has something to compare with. And after some time, you can meet and discuss whether it’s worth getting together, or whether you’re both comfortable separately.
6. Consultation with a family psychologist - specialists save about 60% of married couples. Try to persuade her to go to a psychologist together. If not, visit it yourself to find answers to any questions.
7. Let go - if she fell in love with someone else, went to him, demonstrates in every possible way how happy she is in a new relationship, give her freedom. You can say that you are ready to take her back, but you shouldn’t interfere with her new life.

In any case, the surest path is to improve yourself, to work on yourself. Whatever decision you both make, do everything to transform yourself for the better, both externally and internally. Eliminate all shortcomings that led to a cooling of feelings.

How to understand that a wife has stopped loving her husband

There are women who openly say that love has passed and they are not satisfied with their current relationship. However, some, for one reason or another, do not want to ruin their family by continuing to live with an unloved person. Perhaps they are already thinking through an “escape plan” or are simply waiting for the right moment to leave.

How to understand that your wife has fallen out of love? The following signs usually indicate this:

• Constant scandals and quarrels. Most often they happen without a good reason. The wife finds fault with little things. She is annoyed by almost every action of her husband. She constantly expresses her grievances and blames him for all sins;
• Avoiding sex. Each time a woman finds more and more reasons to refuse sex with her husband. Either she has a headache, or she is too tired, or she is not in the mood. As a result, sex becomes very rare or disappears from the relationship altogether;

• Reluctance to do something for my husband. The woman stops caring for her husband. Cooking a delicious dinner or ironing a shirt - now she just doesn’t want to do it;
• Indifference. The wife no longer asks any questions. She doesn’t care at all how her husband is doing at work or why he came later than usual today. All conversations come down to solving everyday issues;
• The desire to spend leisure time separately. If previously a wife enjoyed going to the cinema or a cafe with her husband, now she is better off having fun in the company of her friends. She increasingly leaves home alone, and refuses her husband’s proposals to go somewhere together;
• Lack of desire to look attractive. It becomes absolutely unimportant for a woman what she looks like at home. She dresses up only when she goes out somewhere without her husband;
• Flirting with other men. The woman begins to flirt and communicate with other men. Her mood noticeably improves if someone in the company pays attention to her or gives her a compliment.

It is possible to say with confidence that the spouse’s feelings have cooled only if several of the signs listed above are present at once. After all, for example, simply refusing sex can indicate health problems or chronic fatigue, and does not at all mean that the wife has stopped loving her husband.

Signs of cooled feelings

In order not to part with the woman you love, it is important for you to identify the problem in a timely manner before it goes away. If she does not directly say that she has stopped loving you, the following signs will be alarming:

• she regularly refuses intimacy;
• communicates with other men, shows interest in their successes;
• sharply changes priorities, increasingly spends time outside the home with friends.

Simply put, a woman becomes cold, uninterested in the affairs of her husband, and shows warmth and care less and less. There are a lot of indirect signs that indicate that feelings have subsided:

• she no longer hides her shortcomings;
• ignores your presence;
• shows unreasonable jealousy;
• shows irritability over small things;
• demonstrates rudeness, selfishness;
• pays less and less attention to household chores and cooking;
• prefers to make any important decisions independently.

This behavior does not always mean that she has fallen out of love, has fallen in love with another man and is going to leave for him. But in any case, all signs are an indicator that the relationship needs rehabilitation.

Will you try to get your wife back after betrayal?

Not really

What to do if your wife has fallen out of love: advice from a psychologist and effective recommendations

If the spouse openly says that her feelings have faded away, or there are all signs of this on her face, the question arises of what to do if the wife has fallen out of love. Here it is important to decide whether it makes sense to fight to preserve the relationship. Living with a person who has fallen out of love is worth it only if you have a firm intention to revive his faded feelings. Otherwise, such an alliance is doomed to failure.

So what to do if your wife has fallen out of love? The psychologist’s advice and recommendations in this regard are as follows:

• Find out what a woman doesn't like about you. To do this, you need to talk frankly without quarrels and scandals. Even if you don’t like what you hear, try to calmly perceive the information and listen to your spouse’s position;
• Do not put pressure on your wife or beg her to save the marriage. It is important to tell your spouse that the relationship is very important to you and you do not want a divorce, but the choice is still hers. For a while it is necessary to let her go, to do the so-called reboot of the relationship;
• Change and start improving yourself. To reawaken your wife's interest, you need to remember what attracted her to you at the beginning of the relationship. It is likely that you have changed a lot now and are completely different from you a few years ago. Try to awaken in yourself those qualities that your wife once liked so much. Also, start improving yourself. Sign up for a gym or swimming pool, learn a new profession or start doing something you've always dreamed of;
• Try to eliminate the reason that led to the fading of feelings. Here the actions depend on each specific situation. For example, if a man earned little, and most of the conflicts arose due to lack of money, try to look for a higher paying job. It may be worth taking advanced training courses or radically changing your field of activity. It is important that the cause be eliminated permanently, and not for some time. Otherwise, your spouse will become even more convinced that you are not the person she needs;
• Bring romance back into your relationship. Treat your wife to a romantic dinner or take her on a date to the place where you had your first kiss. Give flowers for no reason, shower the woman with compliments, show that she is still interesting and desirable to you.

Getting your feelings back if your wife has fallen out of love and wants a divorce is not so easy. This process can take quite a long time. The woman must believe that you have really changed and are ready to start the relationship from scratch.

For a number of reasons, it sometimes happens that a woman’s feelings for her own husband fade away. You can notice this without waiting for the moment when the wife declares her desire to get a divorce. The sooner a man recognizes the signs that his wife has fallen out of love, the greater his chances of saving the marriage. Before thinking about what to do if a wife has stopped loving her husband and wants to divorce, it is important to understand whether the relationship is really worth fighting for, or whether divorce would be the most reasonable way out of this situation.

Author: Olga Vasilyeva. Photo: Instagram, Infastar, YouTube. If you are the author of one of the photos and do not agree with its publication, contact the administration and we will correct the error.

What to do: advice from a psychologist

Psychologists offer only two solutions if feelings for your husband have cooled:

1. Stay and try to rekindle the love.
2. Divorce.

READ How to return your husband to your family: advice from a psychologist

What decision a woman makes depends on the specific situation. This is largely influenced by related factors: age and marital experience, the presence of a child or other limiting reasons. When you are not sure, you should listen to the advice of psychologists:

1. A change of scenery - a vacation at sea or in another country, a weekend trip out of town, a vacation in a sanatorium. Time spent together in an unusual environment, devoid of everyday hustle and bustle, will help you understand whether there are still any feelings left.
2. Self-development - a radical or not so radical change of image (change of style, new hairstyle, bright lipstick). Perhaps, seeing changes in his wife’s appearance, the husband will show interest in her.
3. Living separately - not having a husband nearby will help you understand how good or bad it is without him.

Making a choice is more difficult if there is a child in the family. In this case, the issue of divorce should be raised only if it is possible to support the child on your own. Moreover, this concerns not only the material side of the issue, but also the possibility of proper child development (physical and moral).

How to save your marriage and love again

When the decision has been made to resume the relationship, it is first worth analyzing the husband’s behavior. If a man still loves, it will be easier to save the marriage. It is very important to act together, otherwise nothing will work out. You need to start a dialogue with your spouse, sum up the results of living together:

1. Write on a piece of paper what you have already achieved together, as well as your plans for the future.
2. Issues can only be resolved together.
3. List on paper all the advantages and disadvantages of each other. After exchanging notes, work out problematic issues.
4. Dialogue is important. During conversations, you need to listen and hear each other.
5. Paying more attention to your spouse will help him become softer. At the same time, it is worth accepting the authority of your husband as a fact, becoming a woman, not a feminist.
6. Trust and sincerity. Only an open demonstration of feelings and thoughts will help establish contact between spouses. It’s worth telling your husband directly that even though feelings for him have cooled, there is a desire to start all over again. This will convince the man that he needs a wife, that he cannot lose her, and that he must go towards his goal together.
7. Joint leisure time - weekends, vacations, repairs, walks, business trips. If you spend more time together, it will be easier to get closer again, there will be more new topics for communication, and shared pleasant memories.

READ How to never quarrel with your husband: advice from psychologists

It is also worth going with your husband to see a psychologist. A specialist will help you understand the problem and offer effective methods to overcome the current situation.

How to leave and start over

If love has passed completely, there is no point in tormenting each other. Divorce in this case is the most sensible decision. There is no need to say goodbye to the scandal; you should explain to your spouse in a calm but convincing manner the impossibility of further relations. You definitely need to show respect, remember the good things, but summarize that at some point everything went wrong. That is why everything urgently needs to change.

Of course, the man will start to dissuade you and promise to fix everything. But you need to firmly insist on your own. False hopes will only offend a person more. Next time, separation will be inevitable, but it will no longer be possible to “remain friends.”

It’s good if you have the opportunity to go to a separate house, your parents’ apartment, or rented living space. You need to immediately pack your things and leave. There is no point in delaying. A man must understand that his intentions are serious.