Hysteria in women and men, hysteria in a child - symptoms, what to do, prevention

To understand why hysteria initially occurs in both men and women can only be understood by delving into the physiological aspects of the problem.

Anyone who believes that a man cannot have a uterus is greatly mistaken - he does! True, the male uterus - a small cavity in the prostate that opens into the lumen of the urethra - cannot be called a full-fledged organ - it is not intended for receiving and bearing a fetus. However, the fact is irrefutable.

Actually, how do male genital organs differ from female genitals? The fact that in the process of intrauterine sexual differentiation, either the cavernous bodies of the penis or the labia are formed from the same rudiments, while the other part becomes either the prostate or the uterus.

Both of these organs are not only muscle formations, but also glandular ones. This means that they are hormonally active, largely determining the general hormonal background, creating not only the image, but also the entire philosophy of our life.

Since the need to obtain food has long ceased, and one doesn’t really want to reproduce, most of human energy has now gone into the psycho-emotional sphere - into the “production and redistribution” of the energy of emotions (for now - through “showdowns” in household, industrial and national contexts).

A man who used to carry a doe killed during a hunt into a house on his shoulders now strives to sneak out of this house, spending most of his time hunting in the wilds of the Internet, at a stadium or in a beer pub, posing as a football fan.

And the woman, who has ceased to be a reaper and washerwoman, tries hard to somehow keep this “slippery, cowardly and lazy male” next to her.

Why does she need this, clean and well-fed? The modern woman - like her primitive predecessor - is not only still filled with the fire of primitive unspent sexual power, but is also equally engulfed in the flame of unbridled passions and desires.

Only this power is still astral-emotional - it is still powerless to do at least something in this world of matter without the participation of a man. But since a man is in no hurry to voluntarily realize a woman’s many desires, she simply very skillfully “extracts” it from him.

Not by washing (whining), but by rolling (including rolling on the floor in hysterical fits on the verge of blackout).

And the uterus is “to blame” for this, having lost the meaning of life and lost its rhythm in the modern world, alien to its nature.

The uterus pulsates with a certain (variable) frequency, in a passionate desire for motherhood-pregnancy, trying to attract to itself the “beating” male prostate in one with it and extract the coveted seed from it. But, having not received what she wanted, in her righteous anger she distorts the woman’s life so much that it changes her psyche beyond recognition.

Hence the popular name for hysteria in women: uterine rabies.

But how then can we explain the man’s hysteria?

By the same mechanism: his brain and psyche, tired of “unweaving” the ingenious “lace” of female passions or struggling in their snares, put into action the male “uterus” - the prostate.
It protects its owner from female “terror” through “anti-terrorism,” powerfully activating the production of “hormones of anger, fear and despair.” Externally, the process manifests itself as a fit of male rage on the verge of rage.

Powerless rage, because what can a modest-sized male uterus do against all the power of a massive female one? And that’s why the man almost always gives in. Or runs away (including dying).

“Yes, sir, such a neurosis!”

Contrary to the generally accepted opinion that hysterical neurosis is simply a form of female bitchiness, the categorical conclusion of medical science should be cited: hysteria is one of the varieties of neurosis, because it does not have any organic substrate (if this is not the case, it is no longer hysteria).

It has long been noticed: this pathology is burdened with natures that are overly impressionable, refined, “airy”, “fluttering in the clouds” of daydreaming - and absolutely cut off from sinful earthly life with all its dirt and mold.

Raised with copious tears and sighs from novels and movies, these “muslin young ladies” are simply unable to endure the touch of rough, materially dense life, the slightest breath of it simply knocks them off their feet - there is no need to talk about direct coercion and violence at all.

For these are, for the most part, individuals raised under the gaze of a whole series of generations of similarly educated women - mothers and grandmothers - who are ready to run for a thermometer or an enema at the slightest change in the “princess’s” facial features.

Accustomed to their own, “innate” weakness, “sickness” and helplessness, living with an eye on who to lean on (more precisely, who to hang on), people of this type never live their own lives - their heads are full of other people’s, operetta-like ideas about what as it should be ideally.

And these ideas are so strong and resourcefully tenacious that the hysteric becomes a real despot, imposing them on everyone around him - whoever dares to offend a fragile “porcelain doll”, it is better to give in. As a person grows up, she gets used to believing that it simply cannot be any other way.

And this fragile butterfly (and a tenacious leech rolled into one) is brought into life, where you have to somehow act and say something. What to do if your legs can’t hold you up?

Yes, just falling into the arms of the first suitable compassionate representative of the opposite sex - your head is spinning, they say! She was really dizzy, and for good reason.

After all, these naive dreamers never have any idea of their own about specific everyday affairs - the “drive belts” of life; they are worried and frightened even by the very prospect of having them. Their credo is “yes, but...”. And this, said in a weak voice in which tears tremble, “but” categorically excludes the possibility for them to do anything on their own.

Having fallen into someone else's heartily open arms, hysterical people remain in them for the rest of their lives - they are “too weak” to walk on their own feet.

Having settled comfortably in a quiet, “windless” place, a fragile butterfly can bring offspring - and after that don’t say a word to it at all: I am for you, not sparing myself, and you...! Or something similar. But this comfort is purely external, because in the head of such a cut personality there is real soda.

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What to do if someone near you is hysterical?

Of course, it is often impossible to figure out on your own whether the actor in front of you is “breaking a comedy” or whether a sick person is in distress. And this once again confirms the fact that, be that as it may, there is little you can do to calm him down. But there are some general recommendations regarding what will help stop an attack or a game scene as quickly as possible.

Do not persuade him to calm down, do not feel sorry for him and do not fall into hysterics yourself - this will only encourage the hysteroid. Be indifferent or even go somewhere else until the scene ends.
If the scene goes off scale in all respects, and children, for example, see this, you can try to stop the attack with some sudden action - pour a glass of water on the person, give a gentle slap in the face, press a painful point on the arm just below the elbow fossa.
After a seizure, give the person a glass of cold water or persuade them to sniff ammonia. Be sure to seek help from doctors if we are talking about your relative - the disease may progress.

If you yourself know that you have a craving for arranging ugly scenes just for the sake of release, and even more so, you find some kind of “charm” in this, it is better to try to direct your energy in another direction - for example, get release by playing sports, dancing, walking the dog . It would also be a good idea to contact a psychologist on the website Vashe-Soznanie.ru, otherwise you risk over time not getting any reaction at all to your hysterics - a person gets used to everything. At best, they will think about you: “He’ll scream and calm down,” and at worst?

What's going on inside the hysterical person?

It is impossible to say that those suffering from hysteria are absolutely and serenely happy. For this is a constant state of intense anticipation of some kind of trouble, tragedy and cataclysm of any scale, which is extremely exhausting for them personally and for everyone around them. The psyche of the sufferer (or sufferer) is full of fears and all sorts of obsessive thoughts that cannot be escaped.

The essence of this personality type is eternal panic when thinking not even about tomorrow, but about the day that has already arrived and the current one, in which something can happen. And if (suddenly!) nothing happens, so much the worse; an accomplished drama is better than foggy uncertainty. “Drama” can mean anything from missing hair clips to an alleged Martian invasion.

An attempt to work or serve for those suffering from hysteria ends disastrously: eternal stay “on sick leave” makes the employee undesirable to the enterprise and leads to dismissal. Which further strengthens the belief in one’s absolutely exceptional morbidity and absolute helplessness.

Illnesses are generally a separate “playing field” for the hysterical. The tense anticipation of troubles cannot but lead to some changes in health, and now it has happened! - the illness struck. A thorough analysis of it and comparison with what is “in the medical reference book” instantly leads to the conclusion about a serious or even incurable disease.

And if there is also a truly sick person in the family or someone has recently died... For the hysterical, the only possible conclusion arises: of course, I will be next (next).

Diseases. The indispensable and heaviest “brick in the wall”, which fences off the hysterical person from the world.

But about the extreme manifestations of hysteria, special mention should be made.

Soon, soon will the gravestone hide my chest?

A woman who always wants to be the one and only, but experiences terrible inner uncertainty in this world of gross matter, tries to attract the attention of a male support through hysterical behavior in the form of theatricality and affectation, excessively loud laughter, ridiculous haircut and hair color, inventing himself with various fables and other ostentatious antics.

But when these techniques do not work, the last trump card is used in the form of a hysterical attack.

With all her appearance, the woman screams: here I am, and I desperately need help!!! She screams literally, piercingly loud.

It screams so that the face turns purple and the veins on the head swell, and the mouth becomes distorted, while the body makes the most wild and unbridled movements, no longer subject to the will of the mistress: it falls to the floor, rolls around on it, arching, beating with its legs and arms, scratching its face and pulls out hair.

For the consciousness of the owner of the body is darkened - it is not here now, but in the twilight zone, and only pain or a bucket of ice water dousing the body can bring it back from there.

Hysteria in women is most often accompanied by imitation of disorders of the central nervous system, the symptoms of which appear:

neurogenic blindness, deafness, vomiting, suffocation (simulating an asthmatic attack);
pain in the heart (like angina);
pseudoparalysis and pseudoparesis.

Everything is “pseudo”, because with the end of the seizure, body functions are completely restored. But memories of what recently happened to the body and consciousness are not preserved.

Not only lonely, sexually unsatisfied women, but also completely legitimate husbands and wives can suffer from hysterical attacks.

A physiological (due to excess estrogen in the blood) reason for a seizure may be:

long-term sexual abstinence;
a certain phase of the menstrual cycle;
pregnancy;
menopause;
chronic alcohol or drug intoxication;
overstrain of the brain and body, languishing from idleness;
excess coffee “got to the head” or the consequences of a very specific cranial injury;
stress both in the family and at work.

The problems are not just yesterday, but have been accumulating for years. And now, finally, they have found a way out in such desperately uncontrollable, often public behavior, which brings colossal relief.

A relief that will soon require repeating. This means that a continuation is coming “in the next episode.” Or depression and even a suicide attempt from the realization of what has been done (for not all religions and cultures allow such “unbridled” behavior). And the very movements of a body uncontrolled by the mind can lead to its death, just like during an epileptic seizure.

This is the answer to the question: what is the danger of hysteria specifically for the body (for the manipulation of the consciousness of family members in this case is obvious and does not need comment).

In addition, there is a direct threat to the psyche of a patient with hysteria - he sinks more and more into the swamp of self-pity and the search for more and more new diseases and symptoms, dooming himself to increasingly desperate loneliness in the circle of those who previously loved him and who judge him and treat him with irritation and anger .

Symptoms and stages of hysteria

Although it often seems to us that a hysterical attack began completely suddenly, usually signs of the upcoming “performance” can be seen in advance. The child whines, does not listen, is distracted, sulks, and then may become silent. This deceptive calm often foreshadows a subsequent explosion with screams, tears, stamping of feet, and sometimes accidental physical harm to oneself and others. If you learn to recognize the symptoms of a future tantrum in advance, it will be easier to prevent it. Distract your child, show him something bright and unusual. Ask him why he is dissatisfied, how to help him, offer to solve the problem together.

A hysteria can manifest itself in different ways and last for different times, but it is always arranged in the presence of at least one spectator. Since this is largely demonstrative behavior, without active participation and a clear reaction from the outside, the attack subsides much faster, as it becomes meaningless. Hysteria can be divided into three stages.

The first stage is vocal. The child cries, screams, squeals, and attracts attention with loud sounds.

The second stage is motor or motor. The baby throws toys and other objects, falls on the floor, rolls around on it, twists his arms and legs, and bangs his fists. If at this moment you try to physically calm the child, he may hit the parent, bite and escape. The danger of this stage is that a child who has lost control over his body may accidentally injure himself.

The third stage is residual. The storm has passed, but physical and emotional fatigue remains. The child no longer screams, but cries quietly, sighs heavily and sobs convulsively, sometimes hiccups may begin. At this stage, you can hug the child and calm him down, but there is no need to lament over him and complain loudly - this will only prolong the attack, preventing the baby from finally coming to his senses. All discussions and clarifications should be postponed until later, when emotions have subsided.

Entrance is open, and not only for women

Not only women, but also men and children unconsciously resort to hysteria as a way to almost instantly get rid of accumulated mental ballast.

But if a child’s hysteria has one meaning: finally notice me - and love me for who I am - then in men it is different and means: leave me alone!

Both categories can respond to mental pressure with sleep and appetite disorders, headaches and loss of strength.

A very young child often wakes up at night with hysterics, falls to the floor crying, knocking his legs and arms, hitting his head on the floor.

But in men, hysteria also has the following symptoms:

sexual weakness or impotence;
pseudocardiac and pseudogastric pain;
causeless suffocation and suppression;
paleness (redness) of the face with sweat on the skin;
tremors in the hands, tics and other neurotic manifestations of stress.

Eloquently saying: you “got me”! “Pseudo” means that all changes occurring in the body pass without a trace along with the disappearance of reasons for psychological stress.

Adult tantrums

The female deputy threw a tantrum, the Ukrainian traffic police officers broke down. But in vain. After 5 minutes the woman will get tired and the shouting will subside.

Movie "Cool Georgia"

Calmness and cold water stop tantrums best.

Film "Roman Holiday"

A negative attitude, nasty intonations, mocking comments - this is a sequence leading to hysteria.

Film "On the Edge"

Those who are anxious and hysterical need to be occupied with work. Then they will interfere less and calm down faster.

Film “The World of Emotions: The Art of Being Happier. The lesson is conducted by Prof. N.I. Kozlov"

What to do if you are overwhelmed by uncontrollable emotions

Hysteria is demonstrative behavior expressing active protest, one’s own suffering and the impossibility of adequate reactions. Hysterical is also called loud, restless behavior that incites others to the same emotions.

Usually behind a hysteria there is an unreasonable desire, which a person insists on in a scandalous way, violating the format: screaming, attracting everyone's attention, breaking dishes. Children fall to the floor, bang their arms and legs, and destroy everything around them. Quiet hysteria - rolling the eyes, demonstrating complete helplessness, uncontrollable moaning or sobbing.

Hysterics are more often a female behavior, and it seems that this is only the result of upbringing: girls are more often allowed to cry and whims. If a man allows himself to fall into hysterics, he is not really a man; infantile traits creep into him. More often they are arranged by people with hysterical character traits, but well-mannered people, even with hysterical traits, do not throw hysterics.

And, let us note, smart men do not get involved with women who indulge in hysterics instead of solving the issue in an intelligent way by discussing it.

A person in hysterics behaves as if he has lost his mind, has fallen into unconsciousness and cannot control himself in any way. This is not entirely true. Hysteria is a special art; masters of hysterics really know how to put themselves into this state, when actions are performed almost uncontrollably, but - but in fact, in any hysteria, conscious control is always present.

As the woman says: “I’m wildly hysterical, flying like a fury around the kitchen and breaking dishes. I open another closet, but I see that there is my favorite crystal vase on the shelf... No, I take it and slam another one on the floor: why would I hit my beloved!”

Hysterics are more likely to occur when there are spectators and there is benefit. That is why, no matter how terrible a person is in hysterics, when the benefit disappears, the audience changes and the situation becomes incompatible with hysteria - as soon as the person notices this, his hysteria stops almost immediately.

How to react to hysteria?

Hysteria is a typical manipulation. Anyone who throws a tantrum expects that they will not remain indifferent to it. Namely, either those around him will feel sorry for someone who is crying so bitterly, or they will not want to hear such a sharp cry, or it will be awkward to be a participant in such a wild performance in front of others. However, if you understand this, you don’t have to fall for all this. You don’t feel sorry for the one who is crying - he arranged it for himself, a sharp cry is not harmful to your health and rather only invigorates you, but it was not you who staged the wild performance, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

And the Ukrainian traffic police officers broke down in front of the hysteria of the female deputy. It seems that this is their mistake - there is no need to reinforce the habit of some women to solve their problems with public hysterics.

What to do specifically?

Do not throw a tantrum in response to a hysteria - it is useless, sharp emotions in response only excite the one who starts the hysteria. Suggesting calm down usually doesn't help. Works better:

Complete indifferent calm. When hysteria does not have sympathizers or spectators included in the performance, it passes faster. If you can wait, just wait. Yell for a very long time - the hysterical person will not have enough health to calm down.
Until the hysteria develops, calmly repeat the question “What do you want?”, and offer to formulate the tasks of the hysteria.
It's very good to keep busy with something. This distracts the hysterical person from worrying and calms everyone down.
Sharp physical impact: a slap in the face or a bucket of water. Brings you to your senses.
If your girlfriend regularly throws tantrums at you, the best remedy for her tantrums is to break up with her. If you are a reasonable person, why do you need a wild creature? Can you find something more decent?

It's time to stop the hysterics.

Children's tantrums

Children's tantrums have their own characteristics. And it is especially important that parents can warn them. Cm.

How to stop your own tantrums?

It’s not difficult to stop your own hysteria (if you wish). Pouring cold water works best: either ask someone to pour it on you, or climb under cold water yourself, you can wear clothes, you can undress: the tone of your screams will change, the hysteria will stop. Next, rub yourself with a towel, put on fresh clothes and be sure to go outside for a walk. Walk outside for at least half an hour, preferably an hour. While walking, chew gum vigorously (chewing gum and suffering are two incompatible things) and engage in people-watching. Better yet, copy your gaits. That's it, you will soon return to a completely normal state. The main thing is desire!

Is hysteria real or fake?

Hysteroepilepsia, or the debut of an epileptic disease with hysterical seizures, is otherwise called imitation hysteria and is often classified as a neurosis of childhood in children with epilepsy, complicating diagnosis and delaying treatment of the true cause of hysterical reactions.
Hysterical manifestations with imitation of seizures and true epilepsy occurring in adults are frequent.

What is the difference between a hysterical and epileptic seizure?

This:

the absence in a hysterical seizure of a clearly defined clonic and tonic stage typical of an epileptic one;
emphasized unconscious posing with pretentious movements and facial expressions (with particular agitation in crowded places) and preservation of pain and pupillary reactions during hysteria;
a neurological “trail” often remaining after a hysterical attack in the form of spastic and flaccid paralysis, paresis, contractures, aphonia, manifestations of astasia-abasia, as well as anuria (or polyuria), belching, hiccups, tachycardia, which is unusual for an epileptic seizure;
completion of an epileptic seizure with sleep or bodily-motor agitation, oligophasia (absent during a hysterical attack).

However, “unraveling the tangled braid” from a combination of epileptic and hysterical symptoms can be extremely difficult. And here instrumental diagnostics in the form of an EEG come to the rescue, making it possible to detect both changes in electrical activity unusual for hysteria, and the epileptogenic foci themselves.

Sedation and “lying down”, or the treatment of seizures

Treatment of hysteria and hysterical neurosis should be comprehensive and include the use of psychotropic drugs, psychotherapy, restoratives, and physical therapy methods; Spa treatment courses are useful.

With the development of neurotic states, especially those accompanied by affective (including depressive) disorders that cannot be treated on an outpatient basis, “lying down” is indicated - hospitalization in the department of a psychiatric hospital for “calm neurotics”.

The arsenal of drug therapy for hysteria includes the use of tranquilizers, the best effect of which is obtained by dosed, hourly use per os:

Diazepam – Seduxen, Oxazepam – Tazepam, Chlordiazepoxide – Elenium from 10 to 30 mg/day;
Phenazepam from 1 to 3 mg/day;
Meprotane – Meprobamate from 200 to 800 mg/day.

What to do in case of massive hysteria?

In case of persistent obsessions, massive hysterical disorders, intramuscular and, in case of inpatient care, intravenous drip administration of tranquilizers (Diazepam, Chlordiazepoxide) or connection to therapy with small doses of antipsychotics are justified:

Etaperazine from 4 to 12 mg/day;
Chlorprothixene from 15 to 50 mg/day;
Thioridazine – Melleril from 10 to 50 mg/day;
Neuleptil – Propericiazine from 10 to 20 mg/day.

Or the use of drugs with a prolonged period of action - Fluorophenazine-decanoate (Moditen-depot) from 12.5 to 25 mg 1 time/2 weeks.

Patients with predominant manifestations of asthenia are effectively treated with a combination of tranquilizer-Piracetam (Nootropil) or tranquilizer-Aminalon.

The severity of affective (depressive) disorders requires a combination of a tranquilizer and antidepressant (Amitriptyline with Chlordiazepoxide and the like).

Cases with persistent sleep disturbance are treated with Nitrazepam (Eunoctin, Radedorm) from 5 to 15 mg, Phenazepam from 0.5 to 1.5 mg, Teralen from 5 to 10 mg, Chlorprothixene 15 mg.

What to do if a 2-3 year old child is hysterical - advice from a psychologist:

Dr. Komarovsky has his own view on children's hysteria:

Hysterics? Hysterics!

What to do if a child is hysterical?

Calm and only calm!
A tantrum is an immature attempt by a child to get his way, and you are an adult, experienced and mature. Let your emotions run high, but you need to breathe in and out... and pull yourself together. If you start to get irritated and behave like a child, then this communication will be of no use. Everyone will feel bad. Talk to your child

A good way is to go to the child’s level (squat down), persistently call the child to you in a calm voice, ask him to look into his eyes, talk about his own feelings about his behavior and explain how to behave and what other options for behavior could be in this situation. It is important not to scold the child or tell him that he is behaving badly and what he is doing wrong, but to focus on the correct behavior strategies.

Hug him

If the child is in a rage and does not hear anyone, if he clearly cannot control himself, then the most universal medicine will be “holding” or a tight hug. It’s better if the mother does this (while cuddling to the chest, the baby hears the mother’s heartbeat - this reminds him of the intrauterine period, which is very calming and creates a feeling of stability and security). This could be any other person whom the child trusts. The main thing is to do this with inner peace, confidence and love for the baby.

Is it possible to ignore hysterics?

It is impossible not to mention a widespread way to respond to a child’s tantrum, which parents often discuss and advise each other - ignoring. This method has the right to life, but remember - it can only be used in cases where you definitely feel and know that the child is able to cope with his condition, that his hysteria is manipulative. True, uncontrollable hysteria should never be ignored. And don’t forget - you need to ignore the condition, not the child himself.

Don't let yourself be manipulated

If you react to a child’s hysterics at least once by unconditionally fulfilling all his requests - “If only he would calm down!”, then you have a great chance of getting into a vicious circle of manipulative hysterics. This does not mean that the child’s requests and feelings should be ignored. But it is important to develop an understanding of who is in charge in the family, who sets the rules. A child is a child because, on the one hand, he is constantly within the limits associated with issues of safety, education and upbringing, and on the other hand, he constantly tests these boundaries, including through assessing his ability to communicate with parents/relatives and influence on them. Do not forget - the task of parents is to maintain these boundaries and set rules within which the child is free to do what he wants.

When the hysteria ends, the child himself must clean up its consequences - scattered toys or things. You can help him, but the baby must understand that he himself is responsible for what happened.

It's easier to prevent than to stop

Let me be independent

There comes a time when the baby wants to do something on his own, to try his hand. And he will demand this in every way available to him. However, often caring parents, worried that he will do something wrong, or, conversely, making life easier for themselves, do everything themselves (faster and without worries), and do not give the child the opportunity to show himself and participate in the process. The way out of this situation is very simple - let the baby have some responsibilities. Invite him to do something with you, distributing tasks - both you and the child will be pleased that he did something himself. You just have to try it and you will be pleasantly surprised at how quickly your baby learns.

Try to understand your child and help him understand himself

If the child is between 1 and 3 years old, then most often such conditions arise due to the child’s inability to express his feelings, thoughts and desires. “I want something, but I don’t know what... and if I know, I don’t understand how to express it!” And here the adult’s task is to grasp and understand these needs, try to voice his feelings or desires to the child, show that you understand him, and in cases where this does not contradict common sense, realize these desires. This will help not only stop or prevent hysterics, but will also teach the child to understand himself, his own feelings and needs, correctly express them and correctly respond to a ban (refusal).

Don't overtire your child

One of the common causes of hysteria is overwork and/or an empty stomach. Here, anything can be a trigger for hysteria! From an unfulfilled desire to a wrongly spoken word or a bird flying in the wrong direction. This condition can be prevented by dosing the load (even positive), adhering to sleep and nutrition.

Give your child full attention

The need for attention is one of the main causes of tantrums in children, and for some it continues into adulthood.

Don’t forget, while the child is small, it doesn’t matter at all what pole the attention he receives is positive or negative. The main thing for a child is that there is a response from adults to his actions. Subsequently, such children often confuse love and hatred/anger towards themselves and combine these concepts. Therefore, it is very important to distinguish between them. It is important to monitor the moments when the child requires attention, and, if possible, provide it, and if this is not possible at the moment, explain why, and “agree” when it will be possible (“Right now I can’t play with you because I need to cook dinner, but when I’m done, we’ll definitely draw together”).

Learn to spot the early signs of a tantrum

If you know your child well, you will be able to notice this. Some people begin to be more capricious, others, on the contrary, calm down... it’s different for everyone. When a child is ready to lash out, it is important to apply active listening skills to him, accepting and reflecting the child’s feelings: “I see that you want to have this toy, and you are upset, but we cannot afford to buy it now. Let's come home and play your favorite game? The important thing here is not to get annoyed, but to stand your ground. Don't follow the child's lead.

Set boundaries

The child must know exactly what he can and cannot do. If a rule has been introduced, it is important for everyone to follow it. This is how the child learns consistency, becomes more confident, and has a sense of stability and basic security.

Control your behavior and emotions.

It must be remembered that a child is an indicator of the family, and often his behavior is a manifestation of some problem in the relationship or in the life of the parents. One of the necessary elements of the behavior of parents and loved ones is unity in views on education and consistency in actions.

Learn useful exercises

Teach your child emotional self-regulation, teach him to be distracted. There are certain exercises for this:

Vessel of Consciousness

This exercise will teach children how to manage strong emotions if they suddenly become overwhelming. Take a clean, empty jar and fill it with water. Then scoop up a tablespoon of glitter glue or just glitter and place it in the water. Close the jar with a lid and shake. And now your mini-lesson begins:

“Imagine that you are angry or upset about something, and the sparkles are your thoughts. Do you see how they spin and make it difficult to calmly look through the transparent jar and water? That's why it's so easy to do stupid things when you're upset or angry - your mind is clouded by the same sparkling thoughts. But don’t worry, it happens to all of us (and yes, adults get angry, upset, and do stupid things too).”

Now place the jar on the table.

“See what happens if we manage to calm down for even a couple of minutes? Look: the sparkles settle, and the water becomes clean and transparent again. Your consciousness works the same way. When you calm down a little, your thoughts calm down too, and you begin to perceive the situation much more clearly.”

This exercise not only helps children better understand how emotions work, but also trains their attention - after all, they need to watch sparkles in the water for a long time.

Safari

This fun exercise will turn an ordinary walk into an adventure. Tell your tired and fussy children that you are going on a safari. Now their task is to notice as many birds, beetles, insects and all sorts of different animals around as possible. They will have to really look and listen to notice even the smallest animals. The exercise teaches you to focus and feel your presence here and now, this helps to delay or completely prevent hysteria.

Breathing training

Have your child lie on the floor and place a soft toy on his stomach. Now the baby should breathe deeply, noting how high the toy rises with each breath. This exercise helps children understand what deep strong breaths are, remind your child of this exercise when you see that he is overwhelmed by strong emotions, this will help him calm down.

Balloons

An exercise that can help calm overexcited children at a children's party. Give each child one balloon (not with helium) and ask them to throw the balloon into the air, and then not let it fall to the floor. The purpose of this game is to slow down overly active children a little and focus their attention on the ball.

Finally, I would like to say that every child tries to throw tantrums, and it is up to the parents whether he chooses this form of behavior as a way to achieve what he wants or whether he will look for other, more acceptable options.

Anna Sergienko, Master of Psychology, systemic family psychologist, child and adolescent psychologist, specialist at the Center for Psychological Assistance named after. A. Adler, 10 years of consulting experience.

Author: Anna Sergienko

Child-parent conflicts: Your type of behavior

Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, including between parents and children.
By answering the test questions from the I Am a Parent portal, you will be able to identify your style of behavior in conflicts with your child. Take the test

How to prevent the development of hysteria

First of all, it is necessary to shift the emphasis in life from the patient’s ego, which is painfully inflated by excessive attention, to other, no less important aspects of existence. It is necessary that the child being raised is as open to the world as possible and finds his rightful place in it, and does not languish in anxious loneliness on a “pedestal” that is inaccessible in height for him to be able to jump onto it.

Any suggestion of exclusivity, pain, or helplessness should be excluded from verbal communication and the customs and traditions of the family. It should be taken into account that this process is not quick, often requiring the re-education of several generations of the parents themselves.

When preparing a child for independent life, it is worth resolving the issue of rational professional guidance with the possibility of eliminating occupational hazards in the form of additional neuroticization of the individual at work.

Everything must be done so that the individual can believe that he is capable of life without the care of parents and patrons.

And for this, she needs to be unobtrusively but demandingly encouraged to take the first few independent steps as early as possible. For any journey begins with standing on your own feet. And, as Tsiolkovsky once aptly said on another occasion, “you can’t live forever in a cradle.”