How to get rid of social phobia: advice from a psychologist

Do you or someone you know studiously avoid contact with people? Do you find it difficult to meet people, make contacts, or simply ride on public transport and ask the driver to brake at the desired stop? Does this cause you to have problems in your personal and professional sphere, and your whole life is permeated with a feeling of anxiety and discomfort, a desire to “withdraw into yourself”? It is possible that the above phenomena are signs of social phobia.

To confirm or refute this statement, I recommend reading the information below. In addition to describing the essence of the phenomenon, from the article you will receive practical recommendations for overcoming fear, you will be able to better understand yourself and find the root causes of social phobia. But first things first.

The essence of social phobia

Recently, it has become popular to call oneself a social phobe (especially among young people), moreover, in the erroneous understanding of this word.

• Firstly, this is not hatred of people, as many people believe.
• Secondly, real social phobia is an extremely unpleasant condition that prevents a person from living.

So, social phobia, or social phobia, is fear of society, certain social situations or social contacts. The impossibility of building them is due to certain internal reasons (not always conscious), but not from reluctance. I suggest you immediately get acquainted with the supporting points of this question, which I will explain and comment on along the way or later.

1. Social phobia belongs to the group of anxiety-phobic disorders. In the international classification of diseases it is assigned code F1.
2. In total, about 8% of people experience social phobia. Women (9.5%) suffer from social anxiety more often than men (4.9%). This is due to the natural emotionality of the fair sex, the desire to always look perfect. Stereotypes and social pressure also play a significant role (for example, it is more difficult for women to advance in politics; they literally have no room for error).
3. An important difference between social phobia and other disorders is that a person realizes the groundlessness of his fears or, on the contrary, clearly sees the “roots” (previous experience).
4. Social phobia is a variant of the body’s psychological defense mechanism.
5. When faced with a difficult situation for a person, the body turns on defense mechanisms. They are not always recognized by the individual and often make the situation even worse. The most common psychological defense mechanisms for social phobia are regression (child’s behavior), substitution (slamming the door, “breaking down” on another person), projection (transferring responsibility for failure to circumstances or another person).
6. Psychological fear is always reflected by physical, in this case psychosomatic, disorders.
7. Fear destroys personality. There is nothing left in life except phobia. Life turns into existence. We need to fight this.

In professional psychological and psychotherapeutic literature, social phobia is often identified with shyness. In addition, anxiety (read how to get rid of it here), uncertainty, and low self-esteem are closely associated with social phobia. Thus, social phobia is not a fear of people or even a fear of being rejected, ridiculed, or appreciated by society, but a fear of certain situations and their consequences.

The main difference between fear and anxiety is that fear arises in response to a real threat, while anxiety arises in response to a potential one.

For example, hearing news about terrorist attacks, a person begins to fear that this will happen in his city and tries not to leave the house, avoid crowded places - this is anxiety. But if a person once personally encountered a terrorist attack, and later avoids crowded places for this reason, then we are talking about fear. In this case, with elements of post-traumatic syndrome, but this is a completely different topic. I will definitely tell you about post-traumatic syndrome in another article. For now, let's return to social phobia.

However, not all researchers agree that it is worth differentiating between fear and anxiety. According to the definitions of a number of researchers and the psychological dictionary, fear is an emotional state that reflects the body’s internal defensive reactions to real or potential danger. And then anxiety (fear) is a component of phobia. In my work, I am in solidarity with the authors and share this position.

• Phobia is an obsessive fear.
• In this case, anxiety is a person’s constant and main companion.

Where to start the fight

Psychologists recommend how to cope with social phobia: patients begin by recognizing the problem, then establish why it is necessary to get rid of the phobia, and work out solutions:

They create a psychological attitude that interaction with other people is very important for each individual, and different relationships are built with different people. They learn to adequately perceive their personality and reward themselves every day for the intermediate successes they have achieved. Trying to increase self-esteem. They do not compare their behavior with the actions of other people, and suppress thoughts of their own insignificance for society. They begin to accept the difficulties of life, believe in themselves and their bright future. They break their stereotypes: change jobs, place of residence, make new social connections... Important! Some signs of social phobia are similar to anxiety

The only difference between these two phenomena is that in the second case there is no unreasonable fear of interacting with people

Important! Some signs of social phobia are similar to anxiety. The only difference between these two phenomena is that in the second case there is no unreasonable fear of interacting with people

Signs

You can suspect a person with social phobia with the naked eye. It is especially difficult to miss the telltale signs if you are experiencing this problem yourself. A social phobia is characterized by:

• avoiding any contact;
• fear when communicating with strangers (sometimes even with acquaintances);
• panic and emotional stress in a situation where they are criticized and evaluated (appearance, talents, actions);
• an overly responsible attitude towards responsibilities, important events and meetings (excitement haunts you even a few months before the date);
• soul-searching (“and if I answer this way,” “I should have said it differently”);
• irritability;
• pessimistic negative attitude, expecting the worst;
• excessive focus on outside assessment and other people’s opinions (“what will people say and think if I wear this sweater/don’t come to this event?”);
• constant anxiety, even when performing everyday and usual tasks;
• absent-mindedness, fussiness;
• a feeling of repetition (a person has replayed many situations in his head, which is what causes déjà vu).

Finding yourself in a real situation of personal social fear (public speaking, traveling on public transport), a person experiences not only moral discomfort, but also physical:

• sweating;
• feeling of suffocation, lack of air;
• stuttering;
• pallor;
• increased heart rate and breathing;
• confusion of thoughts;
• sleep disturbances and nightmares;
• stool disorder;
• nausea;
• pain (in the head, stomach, muscles);
• other individual reactions.

The body naturally doesn’t like this, it wants to stop the “torture” and begins to send signals. This gives a person a clear need to leave, run away, or aggression appears (these are the most popular defense options in response to an unwanted situation that once caused discomfort). Thus, social phobia is not so much a fear of society, but of certain social situations, more often associated with success.

Of course, there are individual situations, for example, real mental disorders (obsessive idea that they want to kill a person, they are watching him). Such cases require more complex treatment, often including taking serious medications:

• blockers,
• inhibitors,
• tranquilizers.

It is worth mentioning that in this article I am talking about social phobia as a psychological state of a person, caused by external and internal factors and amenable to correction with the help of psychological therapy (trainings, exercises).

Possible reasons and prerequisites

As I already mentioned, the development of social phobia is influenced by external and internal factors. Yes, even your own insecurity or anxiety is the result of outside influence (in childhood or adulthood). The following prerequisites for the emergence of social phobia can be identified.

1. Depression (70.9% of cases) or other disorders.
2. Drug addiction, alcoholism (76.7%). Public condemnation can be received more often than support and help, which forces the alcoholic to withdraw into himself, increasingly avoiding society.
3. Experienced situations of failure. Having once "shitted" in public, a person will probably avoid performing again.
4. Properties of the psyche. Accented individuals, that is, with a pronounced character trait, are more prone to phobias. For example, the schizoid and asthenic type are the most vulnerable. The same dependence is observed among temperament types. Choleric and melancholic people are more prone to phobias.
5. Someone else's experience. Often, sophiophobia begins to form in childhood and is caused by the behavior (example) of parents or parenting style. For example, intimidation, prohibitions, or one’s own experience of failure in front of a child.
6. Low self-esteem and uncertainty that arose against the background of social deprivation (deprivation) in childhood. This group includes a tyrannical type of parental education, an authoritarian teacher, and “bullying” in the classroom.
7. Low self-esteem. Often comes from a destructive type of parental upbringing or school childhood.

What to do?

Dealing with social anxiety is not easy. Sometimes it is enough just to correct the worldview and, accordingly, behavior. In other cases, medications may be necessary, including those that relieve symptoms, such as sleep aids.

I want to introduce you, dear readers, to an effective training exercise, a way to change your worldview, and give general recommendations for correcting your life.

Training exercise

You may be surprised, but art therapy is an effective means of combating all phobias, including social phobia.

1. Take a sheet of paper and draw whatever is in your head. It doesn’t matter what you draw, how you draw, or whether you know how to draw. Just “pull” the fear and anxiety out of yourself.
2. After you finish, try to analyze the drawing (if it doesn’t work, it’s okay). It is possible that the silhouette of a person from the past who provoked social phobia, or a situation from school childhood, that is, the very root cause (premise of the phobia), will inadvertently “pop up” from the subconscious and be visualized.
3. After that, take a new sheet of paper and try to describe your feelings and thoughts that arose in the process of how you created. It often happens that a person cannot complete this part, because he is unable to remember those feelings. This is due to what your subconscious drew.
4. The last stage is burning the drawing or both the drawing and the notes. As an alternative, you can simply write down your fears, anxieties, thoughts and burn them.

This visualization method is very effective, despite its simplicity.

Down with self-concentration

Focusing on your own behavior in a critical situation for a person and when unwanted external signs (for example, blushing) appear can play a cruel joke. The opinion that in order to get through a problem situation “smoothly” you need to control yourself is wrong. Noticing that a person is sweating, he will begin to sweat even more.

That is, by concentrating too much on oneself and trying to control the situation, a person drowns in his phobias and distorted perception of himself.

• He has no way to notice people's reactions and support. Take a break for a second and you will notice interest in people's eyes, acceptance of you along with all your features.
• However, the same thing works if you notice that someone from the audience (considering a public speaking situation) is skeptical about you. But even here it should be regarded as a silent request to clarify the material. And even if this is criticism, then a constructive form is necessary for a person (this is important to understand).
• If we are talking about inadequate criticism, then it is not even worthy of your attention.

So, trying to completely control his behavior, a person loses control over the situation. A kind of vicious circle arises. In order to calm down, you need to switch your attention.

For example, you start having a somatic cough attack in an inappropriate place. You understand that you are already having a hard time holding back, but you can’t help but think about it, which is precisely forbidden. In this case, just start counting or remembering a verse to yourself. You yourself will not notice how distracted you are, and the attack will pass.

General tips and tricks

In the fight against social phobia there is no single scheme or plan, in general, as in the correction of any psychological disorder. The work plan depends on the severity and direction of fear of society, as well as its causes. However, some general recommendations can be made:

1. Find a support group. Let’s start with people you know on the Internet. Ideal, of course, to have real contacts (family, love, friends).
2. Understand that there are no perfect people, and you cannot please and please everyone. If you are afraid to meet girls because of an unhappy history, then you still shouldn’t pretend to be someone else. Be yourself. You can't lose what you don't have. And trying and making mistakes is normal and useful. All life, starting from birth, is trial and error. After all, walking was once scary, don’t you agree? And it hurts.
3. Self-confidence and adequate self-esteem are the basis for getting rid of social phobia. Work on your self-confidence, study yourself, find your strengths and focus on them. Every person is terrible in some ways, but beautiful in some ways. But there is no such thing as being wonderful or terrible in everything. This is a reality that needs to be accepted. To correct self-esteem and confidence, you can take training courses or find information on the Internet. You can download entire collections of exercises, for example, Wayne Dyer’s work “How to Believe in Yourself.” The motto of this book is: “When you believe, then you will see.” Unfortunately, in such a narrow article and addressing a general audience, I cannot give examples of exercises. It's very individual. Please find the material and choose something suitable for yourself.
4. Break your comfort zone. No matter how it sounds, the “wedge by wedge” principle often works with social phobia. You literally have to break yourself. A club of similar interests (perhaps you are creating something) would be a great start. Find what interests you (poems, music) and share it with your friends. The second part of breaking is consciously going through frightening situations.
5. Understand yourself. People sometimes tend to unconsciously attribute their undesirable traits to others. That is, expect from people what they themselves are capable or not capable of.
6. Try to clearly formulate the cause of the phobia. If we are talking about a situation related to a specific person, then talk about it. Try to meet with this person and discuss everything. For example, if you understand that in childhood you did not have enough support from your mother, but now you maintain contact with her, then have the courage to express everything and ask disturbing questions, to hear her position. If this is not possible (the person has died and does not keep in touch), then write him a letter, state everything and burn the sheet.
7. If you can’t solve the problem on your own, make an appointment with a psychologist.

Social phobia. “I” in a box - Psychologist Nadezhda Khramchenko

Some are afraid of snakes and spiders, and some are afraid of people! Social phobia

- strong fear of people, their assessments, negative judgments, doing something wrong, being a “black sheep”, social life.
Social fear visits every person, but of course to very different degrees.
This can be discomfort in front of your boss, your child’s teacher, timidity on the first date, in front of your husband’s friends, in relationships, as a very mild form, and paralyzing horror in communicating with the inability to work (ergophobia) and go out during the day, as a severe form. Frequent manifestations: a girl is afraid to call the reception desk and find out the doctor’s opening hours, a schoolboy is afraid to blush at the blackboard while answering a lesson in front of the class, a man is shaking very much when getting ready for a date, a woman is afraid to ask something from a stranger on the street or an employee of an institution. A person may have a whole complex of such fears, or maybe just one, for example, expressing his opinion and defending his position in the company of friends. Social fear

paralyzes a person’s active life.
Being capable and talented, he, being captivated by terrible fantasies about grades, criticism, aggression and contempt from others, does not leave himself the slightest opportunity for self-realization, finding personal happiness, starting a family, making friends. Fear of a person, close or unfamiliar, may be so strong that the sufferer will stop leaving the house, or will do so in the evening at dusk or darkness, when the flow of people has subsided. That is why they distinguish between fear - as a mild form and phobia - as a severe one.
With fear, a person, even if experiencing severe discomfort, can lead a social life; with phobia, social contacts are completely avoided. The need to overcome strong fears and phobias causes enormous stress and turns the life of such a person into hell. Loneliness in this situation becomes a natural consequence of these experiences. ©The author of the article you are now reading, Nadezhda Khramchenko/ One of the means of protecting one’s psyche is often washing less often, clothes that are worn out, and a disdainful attitude towards one’s appearance.

By the age of 30, fear decreases noticeably. This is due to a decrease in the need for recognition from others, a natural decrease in dependence on their opinions, and an age-related strengthening of the “I”.

The complex mechanism of action of social fear can be simplified as a chain of the following links:

- egocentrism,

- low self-esteem,

- fear of self-expression,

- dependence on the opinions of others, fear of social evaluation,

- projection onto others of positive, positive qualities denied in oneself, exaggeration of one’s own shortcomings,

- feeling of hostility from other people,

- a feeling of one’s own otherness, of being a “black sheep”,

- highly developed subpersonality “Inner Critic”.

Let us analyze each of these links that form a cruel phobia of people.

EGO

Egocentrism is an amazing phenomenon. Swiss researcher J. Piaget discovered that all children under 5 years old are absolute egocentrics. That is, they cannot take the place of another person. The boy is asked: “Do you have a sister?” “Yes,” “Does she have a brother?” "No". Other manifestations of egocentrism are the feeling that the whole world only cares about you, that you are the center of the universe, and the whole world revolves around you. An egocentric person very often sees either black or white in many phenomena.

Normally, egocentrism becomes obsolete as the child grows up, but in reality this does not always happen. The less egocentrism in a person, the easier it is for him to communicate, understand himself and others, and build relationships. ©The author of the article you are now reading, Khramchenko Nadezhda / However, for a number of reasons, demonstrativeness of parents, overprotection, violations in education, primarily due to the family hierarchy of power, egocentrism can persist for life, and then he will really have it very, very difficult.

How is egocentrism related to social phobia? A person enters a subway car or into the large hall of an institution, or maybe just walks down the street, and then he has a terribly unpleasant feeling and a very strong desire. The feeling that everyone who is here only cares about him, that they only think about him, and they think very, very poorly. This collective brain sends impulses of ridicule and wave energy of hostility with the withering gaze of harsh criticism, evaluation and comparison.

For a social phobe, this situation is seen as “The appearance of a cretin to the people,” and in the unenviable role of a cretin - he himself.

The next link in this chain...

NEGATIVE SELF-ATTITUDE OF A PERSON AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM

A person perceives himself adequately as he is, regardless of appearance, social success, or the presence of a couple or children. With inadequate self-esteem, the flow of comparisons in a person’s thoughts does not stop. You can compare yourself to a work colleague, a girl passing by in a miniskirt, a neighbor who bought a luxury car, or a Hollywood star. At the core of such a destructive tendency lies the conditional love that a person was awarded by his parents in childhood. The confidence was formed that the world does not need you the way you are, a clear rule was developed: “You can only be loved if you have achievements and successes in your piggy bank.” What have you, parents, done! Now your grown child will be endlessly dissatisfied with himself, experience anxiety and fear if something doesn’t fit in with him, because this means that you are now “nobody”.

A person with social phobia, as a rule, has low or inadequate, that is, jumping, self-esteem, sometimes extremely low, sometimes extremely high, and such a person builds relationships with others according to the principle — +

. I feel bad about myself, but what are you!!! Here there is a complete denial of one’s wonderful properties and qualities and projection of them onto other people, seeing them in them. Together with comparison with others and accepting oneself only in connection with achievements and successes, the projection of the positive in oneself onto others forms low self-esteem and an extremely poor attitude towards oneself.

FEAR OF SELF-EXPRESSION

This is the third link in the shackles of social fears. Any person has the right to think, express his thoughts, express his feelings, and reveal his abilities and talents in his activities. A person with social fears is endlessly tormented by fictitious assessments and harsh criticism from others. And if they are present, they swell incredibly strongly in the imagination. This paralyzes creativity. If some ray of creation of something of your own breaks through, it is immediately crushed by a cruel inner critic. In the arsenal of this subpersonality there are emotional injections of a large caliber (ridicule, caustic remarks, criticism, prohibitions on expressing one’s thoughts, desires, defending one’s own interests.

SHYNESS

The amazing US researcher Filippo Zimbardo conducted some of his famous experiments by immersing students in the atmosphere of a prison. After 2 weeks, this experiment, however, had to be stopped, since the “prisoners,” sensing power, began to show excessive cruelty to the prisoners.”

So, the scientist, conducting “Socratic dialogues” at his lectures at the university, asked his listeners the question: “In which person, in their opinion, are both the “jailer and the prisoner” united? No one guessed what the great lecturer meant, although the answers were very varied. “Of course he’s a shy person”! - explained the great lecturer. In a modest, shy, self-conscious person sits a “jailer” punishing her and at the same time a prisoner suffering and listening to his abuse and attacks. Sometimes he rebels and protests, but then again voluntarily bows his head before his punisher. And they are connected by eternal bonds.

CHILDREN'S EXPERIENCE

Where does this strange collaboration come from? From childhood! Parental comparisons with others, negative experiences with children who were not accepted into their company, teased, ridiculed, mocked, boycotted. All this led to fear of aggression from people and the certainty that they thought very badly of our hero. The harm may be physical, moral or mental. The last one is the hardest. Constantly ignoring, making fun of shortcomings, not being accepted into the game, into one’s communication group, ridiculing one’s appearance, behavior characteristics, for example, blushing at the board, burring, lack of self-confidence lead a child and teenager to the false conclusion that something is wrong with him So.

The rehearsal of life among people, in society, takes place precisely in a children's group, where there is a leader, the children adjacent to him and an outsider. Children and teenagers often need it in order to feel more confident and stronger. ©The author of the article you are reading now, Nadezhda Khramchenko/ By belittling a peer, teenagers solve issues of their crisis and a very weak “I”, and the little one splashes out negative emotions and asserts himself. Of course, not everyone can take the unenviable place of an outcast. More often than others, it goes to the sensitive, vulnerable, touchy, insecure and introverted.

It is possible to mock another person only as long as there is an emotional response, worries, and sleepless nights on the other side. If someone becomes an outcast, “they don’t give a damn” what anyone thinks about him, in addition, he can fight back, he begins a new life as an independent person or a leader.

Currently, any features of appearance, even the most unattractive, easily become a source of pride, a part of personal uniqueness, and not a reason for complexes. However, the White Crow population has not disappeared. The group needs otherness. Without it, cohesion and the feeling of strength are no longer the same. However, I would like to focus on the fact that “White Crows” are, first of all, not people with very distinctive features or otherness, but those who can allow themselves to be morally persecuted and oppressed.

“White Crows” are not always children who were downtrodden in childhood; very often, on the contrary, they were brought up in overprotective conditions, but increased expectations could be placed on them, their differences from other peers were emphasized, and for the better. Parents, without realizing it themselves, often encourage their children to isolate themselves from their environment.

You can read more about outsiders in my article “ Loneliness of a teenager

".
“ The Loneliness of a Child
” is also an article close to this topic.

Social phobia is always next to neurosis. After all, neurosis is an internal conflict, and in a person with social fears, fear of aggression and the attitude that others think very badly about him are at odds with an irresistible desire to please others, dependence on other people’s opinions, the need for social approval and significance. A very difficult chess game!

A common link in the chain that forms social phobia is introversion. For an introvert, any interaction with people is often very stressful. This emotional stress contributes to increased fears associated with human interaction.

I can provide you with qualified assistance in getting rid of social anxieties and phobias, make an appointment for a consultation by phone

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Work on yourself

1). The first thing you need to do is improve your attitude towards yourself and raise your self-esteem. Animals are faithful helpers here. After all, in fact, these are the only creatures that perceive their owner without judgment, as he is. You can try to adopt this model of attitude from our smaller brothers and learn to treat yourself the same way. It is necessary to rebuild your picture of the world, in which each individual person is unique and inimitable, and this is his main value, and not in his beauty, success, sociability, and well-being. Do the “Sunshine”

.

2).Strive for decentralization. Look at yourself from the outside, see how your own egocentrism prevents you from living, and declare war on it. Realize the feeling that everyone only thinks about you when you go somewhere, a fiction. Yes, someone may pay attention to you, but this does not mean that the thoughts and feelings of this person are important in this situation. When you go somewhere, focus on your business or do the following exercises:

1). Casually look at people, speculating on their biography and fate, thoughts, feelings. Who is this person, how old is he, what does he do, does he have a family, any problems, is he happy, evaluate his clothes, taste, what he thinks about, etc.

2). “Circles of Attention” technique

. This exercise helps you learn to experience the state of public loneliness (lack of the feeling that there are people nearby). do it in stressful situations, when it seems to you that everyone is looking at you, and at least 3 times daily just so that you develop self-control and mastery of “public solitude”

This will help decentralize and eliminate the feeling that everyone is looking at you, thinking about you, mocking and judging you. When communicating, try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes more often, to perceive and understand someone else’s point of view. Develop an attitude that the world doesn’t care what you do right or wrong, what you wear and how you behave.

3).There is only one way to fight social phobia, by overcoming it. Write down all your social fears on a piece of paper in a column. Rank them from weakest to strongest. Overcome your fears one by one, starting from the first rank, daily getting into stressful situations that cause one or another fear. The weakest fear is gone, move on to another, this one is gone, then overcome the next one. Don’t forget to praise yourself for such courage and courage. There is only one principle here: “Don’t bury your head in the sand like an ostrich,” it is important to learn to relax in these unpleasant situations and experience comfort. Visualization will help you

. Gradually you realize that, going through these tests, you are not faced with a worldwide catastrophe, the world will not collapse!

4).With these written fears, it is very useful to do the following manipulation: turn them into desires! Duplicate the list again, only now leave the fears on the left side, put an arrow from each to the right and write a wish. Ex.: fear of expressing your opinion -> desire to say what you think and explain your position, fear of people’s aggression -> learn to defend yourself, fear of opposing -> learn to defend your point of view. It is important to transform desires into goals and take actions daily to achieve these goals.

5).Working with the “Inner Critic”. This subpersonality sits in each of us, but for some it is a king and god, reigning supreme in the inner world of a person. The reasons for such autocracy are rooted in childhood, where there were excessive demands, a lot of criticism and dissatisfaction with the actions and deeds of the child.

His weapons are humiliation, criticism, reproaches. The owner of such a very powerful subpersonality voluntarily keeps it in his service, because he is falsely convinced that without it he will not achieve success.

Send your “Inner Critic” to retire, he has already served you enough, hire an “Inner Assistant”. A subpersonality that, in difficult moments, will speak words of approval and replace emotional injections with emotional stroking, that is, compliments, support and praise.

6). Joseph Luft and Harry Ingram found that there is a direct relationship between a person's openness and his level of comfort in relationships with others. They developed a simple system to illustrate this point and depicted it as

. 1).What a person knows about himself and demonstrates to others is an arena. 2).What he doesn’t know about himself, but others know, is a blind spot. 3).The hidden is what a person knows about himself, but hides from others, and 4).The unknown is what a person does not know about himself and others do not know about him either. These researchers believe that by reducing the hidden zone, a person has a greater chance of becoming sociable and experiencing much less stress in relationships with other people. Think about what you hide from people and why. Perhaps this seems to you something unworthy. Most likely you are too critical in such assessments. Accept this hidden thing within yourself and try to reveal it to others. The level of tension when interacting with others will definitely decrease.

7).E. Bern and F. Ernst identified the following model in a person’s relationships with other people. It has 4 options.1) — + A person has a bad attitude towards himself, and greatly exaggerates the merits of others. Its roots are in childhood. This is either guardianship or excessive severity and control. 2). + — I accept myself and do not accept others. As a child, such a person did not feel safe and as he grew up, he became harsh and dismissive with others. 3). — — I don’t accept myself and I don’t accept others. Such a person is often depressed and very angry at the whole world. Communication with him is extremely difficult. 4). + + Such a person treats himself very well, knows his worth, and also treats others.

So, in a situation with social phobia, it is necessary to strive for the latter option.

8).Become independent from the opinions of others. It is the strong desire for others to think well of a person that makes social fear difficult to overcome. Express your opinion and do your job without focusing on the reaction of other people.

Social phobia

– this is not a mental illness, it is a very common fear.
But, if it is very strong, it paralyzes a person’s social life. The best help here will be provided by a psychologist, and not a psychotherapist, because medications will not eliminate the causes of fear, and if they are canceled, it will resume again. The world knows very, very many heroes who overcame this fear. Become one of them. I will be happy to help you. Sign up for a consultation via Skype
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This is the first step in defeating “learned helplessness” - believing in yourself!

Khramchenko Nadezhda

07/07/2019
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