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In the modern world, there are many opportunities to achieve success in life and no less dangers to our health, including psychological. Often you have to make difficult decisions and take responsibility for certain actions. The fear of not meeting the expectations of others can become a serious obstacle on the path of life. The fear of responsibility may not seem so scary at first. Don't believe this: people who are afraid to take a step forward are exposed to a lot of dangers. It is necessary to first understand what such fears actually are.
Fear of responsibility can cause serious trouble
Phobia or disease
What is such a phobia? This phobia has a name - hypengiophobia. Literally translated from Greek - fear of responsibility. To put it simply, it is an unreasonable, excessive fear.
Interestingly, this phobia is considered one of the most common anxiety disorders of the psyche. Based on modern lifestyles, we can be sure that more and more people are at risk. In this case, it is not so much the disease itself that is scary as its consequences. Subsequently, its functional effect on the body can cause:
- ulcers;
- cardiovascular diseases;
- strokes, heart attacks;
- hypertensive diseases.
All these factors are one of the many reasons to combat hypongiophobia.
Symptoms of a phobia
Fear of responsibility can cause health problems and psychological disorders. When people are worried about something or are afraid of something, certain symptoms appear that indicate this. If a person suffers from this disorder, he will experience the following symptoms:
- insomnia;
- inability to think rationally;
- increased heart rate and pulse;
- depression;
- lack of composure.
These factors do not always indicate stress. Their appearance indicates serious psychological stress, which is associated with making important decisions. When a person faces his problem or is presented with a choice, he may experience a panic attack or unreasonable hysteria. At such moments, the ability to understand what is happening is turned off, and then the patient begins to blame the people around him for everything.
Root causes of hypengiophobia
Why do we fear responsibility? What are its reasons? As psychologists say, all our fears and phobias come from childhood. Fear of responsibility is no exception. The root cause of such fear may be psychological trauma in childhood or adolescence. The most likely reason why a person develops a fear of responsibility is parents who cared too much about the child in childhood and instilled in him the inability to decide something on his own. In another case, the reason for this could be punishment for incorrect actions or mistakes, which entailed a reluctance to make decisions on their own.
Scientists say that 20% of newborns exhibit neurochemical processes that are the basis of hypersensitivity to stress and any innovations.
The reason for this may be hereditary connections. Thus, the part of the brain that is responsible for fear due to hypersensitivity panics. As a result, we get a ready-made phobia that needs to be fought.
Two in ten babies are hypersensitive to stress
How to get rid of the fear of responsibility
Find the root of your fear
Most people assess their fears rather superficially. They notice only the most obvious reasons (for example, the same low self-esteem). Instead, look deep and find out what is at the root of every fear you suffer from. Understand how your fear was formed and what factors are triggers for it.
As with most other fears, fear of liability can develop as a result of serious psychological trauma. Perhaps you once decided to take a responsible step and it led to sad consequences. Or, when you were a child, your parents limited your freedom to make decisions and did everything for you, explaining that you were not able to cope on your own.
Here is what Olga Bezborodova says about this: “The reason may be the shortcomings of the education system, the influence of parental prohibitions, which can lead to the formation in an adult of the idea that he is not worthy to make decisions, is not capable of taking a responsible position, that he cannot cope "
Will just recognizing the underlying cause of your fear help you overcome it? Hardly. But this is an important and necessary first step towards freedom from it.
Think about times when you took responsibility and it ended well.
For example, at work you agreed to take on additional responsibilities, although you were not confident in your abilities. In the end, you were surprised at how well you handled them.
Ask yourself the following questions.
- What made you take responsibility (even though you were scared)?
- What circumstances influenced you?
- How did you feel when you were able to successfully do what you set out to do?
Think about times when you have achieved success to help you figure out how to connect with the determined part of yourself. Start intentionally using this part when the need arises. Over time, you will find it easier to take responsibility.
Make a responsible decision every day
The only way to get out of your comfort zone is to make regular small “forays” out of it. Start small. Your first steps should be simple enough that you are not overwhelmed by fear, but complex enough that you are tempted to avoid making decisions. What it will be - decide for yourself.
Rate actions that involve taking responsibility on your own fear scale and start with one.
Gradually set yourself more difficult tasks. For example, decide to have an unpleasant conversation in which you have to express your point of view or apologize for your mistakes. A little time will pass, and you will not be so afraid to deal with difficult life situations. You will be confident in your ability to choose the right course of action.
Don't take on too much
Don't try to put the whole world on your shoulders.
Paul McCartney
It may sound counterintuitive, but sometimes fear of responsibility is associated with hyper-responsibility. Sometimes we inflate the smallest obligations that may fall on our shoulders so much that they really seem overwhelming. And at the same time, we completely forget about the joy these obligations will bring us.
Yes, if you decide to get a cat, you will have to feed it, comb its fur, clean up after it, and sometimes walk around with scratches. But you don't have to completely overhaul your life to care for a pet. Very soon you will get used to it, and caring for it will take you very little time. But you will get a wonderful furry friend, with whom it will be more fun.
Of course, you shouldn't rush to extremes. Realize that there is responsibility, but do not inflate it to universal proportions. And remember the advantages: most often there are more of them.
Accept that the problem may be something else
Sometimes responsibility scares us because it is associated with a certain person. When analyzing your behavior, ask yourself whether you are afraid to take on a certain task or whether you are repulsed by someone involved in this task.
Very often, when a person is afraid to get married, have children, or move in with their significant other, the problem is not necessarily a fear of responsibility. Perhaps it's your partner. Every time any issues related to this person arise, you will backtrack. In this case, the problem should be looked for in the relationship.
Manifestation of fear
How does this phobia manifest itself? Everything is very simple. Very often this can be found among people who occupy high leadership positions. Subsequently, you get the feeling that you control everything and, in fact, all responsibility falls on one fragile shoulders. This can't help but frighten. Along with the fear of responsibility, third-party fears also arise.
- Fear of affected pride.
- Fear of inadequacy.
- Fear of success.
- Fear of restrictions on freedom and so on.
All of them are the basis for fear. They cause a person mental discomfort and do not allow him to fully exist in society. A hypertrophied sense of responsibility may not manifest itself clearly enough until a certain turning point in life. In a hidden form, it can be detected by a person’s low self-esteem, his infantilism or selfishness. Hypengiophobia can also be traced by symptoms such as:
- insomnia;
- depression;
- cardiopalmus;
- inability to rationally evaluate one's actions.
The phobia may manifest itself as a rapid heartbeat
Causes
Punishment in childhood for making independent decisions can lead to fear of responsibility in adulthood
- Negative impressions transferred by a child during the period of socialization. The child may be punished for making a mistake, or severely criticized for making an independent decision, or the child is constantly forbidden to do everything.
- Consequences of social stereotypes. A person understands that there are successful and unsuccessful people, and begins to classify himself as the latter.
- Formation of persuasion and negative attitudes. Perhaps a certain decision was made earlier, which resulted in serious troubles and caused a number of consequences. These events create fear of taking on responsibility again.
- Perfectionism or low self-esteem. A person has a constant desire for maximum results. Such an individual begins to compare himself with other people and becomes upset when he sees that he cannot achieve high results. This results in a constant feeling of anxiety, a fear of taking on any obligations.
- Strong dependence on surrounding opinions, fear of being judged.
Ways to Avoid Fear
Like any phobia, such a fear can also be cured. This will require a lot of effort, but the result will be obvious. Modern medicine offers many solutions, but in severe cases, the first person to turn to for help is a psychologist.
But a responsible person can handle it on his own. The first step to solving a problem is understanding and wanting to solve it. After that, you need to start small.
- Try to take responsibility for a small action.
- Then analyze it and decide whether the fear is really as great as it seems.
- The next step will be to gradually increase the degree of responsibility.
- You should also try exercises to improve your self-esteem. Psychologists recommend a method such as meditation. For a meditation session, you can use oils from a variety of herbs to calm, for example: mint, St. John's wort, chamomile, valerian. You can supplement the treatment method with relaxing music and decoctions of the above herbs.
- Using massages and herbal baths, you can relieve muscle tension, which will help you relax faster and approach problems more constructively.
It should be remembered that this is a rather labor-intensive process that requires systematic action.
Main manifestations
How can you understand from the outside that a woman or man is afraid of responsibility? In fact, this condition has characteristic manifestations, they become noticeable in personal communication:
- a person may experience depression, insomnia,
- inability to reason rationally,
- absent-mindedness, lack of concentration,
- possible tachycardia,
- the person is highly self-critical, engages in self-flagellation,
- avoids situations in which uncertainty may arise,
- hard to bear other people's criticism,
- Even with the smallest difficulties, a feeling of hopelessness arises.
If there is a hypengiophobe in your environment
From all of the above, it follows that there is no need to treat people with fear of responsibility too harshly. Under no circumstances should you reproach a person. One of the consequences of a phobia is lack of self-confidence. This is the first thing that needs to be dealt with.
The surest way to solve this problem is to sit down and talk calmly. It is necessary to explain to the person what exactly he is doing wrong, and not to label him as “lazy” or “irresponsible.”
Taking a more serious approach to studying the problem, we can conclude that it requires a solution. To live a full life, you need to overcome your phobia. Its absence will help you move up your career ladder, improve yourself and diversify your life. In addition, this is an opportunity to be a completely “healthy” person. And health, as we know, is the most valuable thing. Understanding that we ourselves are responsible for our lives is the right path to happiness and spiritual harmony.
brief information
Many of us are afraid to make decisions and stand up for our ideas because we are afraid of being misunderstood and rejected. The fear of not meeting other people's expectations takes over in every endeavor. It is very difficult for such a person to cope with even the easiest task. In society there are people with leadership qualities who are ready to fulfill their responsibilities and are not afraid to answer for their actions and decisions. The fear of responsibility for decisions made haunts every person; only some can cope with their feelings, while others cannot. The fear of disappointing others can be stronger than a person.
Fear of not being successful
Men often feel like they have to succeed at everything: school, sports, video games, relationships, as lovers, parents and providers. Some people believe that if they fail in any of these arenas, they will definitely lose.
This particular fear can make it very difficult to move forward with your partner, no matter how amazing she is. At their core, this type of man is afraid that he cannot give a woman what she deserves or needs. His anxiety may be increased if he really has strong feelings for the girl. The more he is in love with her, the more he thinks that he will fail in some irreversible way.
Often such a man needs a “trophy” girlfriend who is sexy and incredibly attractive in order to “prove” to others that he is truly a successful person. He may or may not have real feelings for her, even if they have been together for many years.
Fear of Rejection
This is a man who is afraid that a woman will suddenly lose interest in him and leave. Because of this, he has difficulty having an honest, direct conversation and is very afraid of conflicts. This type of man prefers to resolve issues through text messages or email. He does not have the courage to talk openly with his beloved, so the problems reach a universal scale. When the tension reaches a boiling point, he becomes passive-aggressive, gently slipping away. The guy is proactive and leaves first, so that it turns out that it was not you who abandoned him, but he who abandoned you.
This behavior is driven by the fear of rejection. This feeling for a man is as painful as complete destruction. Therefore, he slides around any direct conflict. Many representatives of the stronger sex suffer from this behavior pattern to one degree or another, since it is more difficult for them to cope with stress. To calm down, it is easier for them to distance themselves emotionally.
Fear of exposure
When a man gets closer to a woman, he may be afraid of being exposed because he needs to reveal fears or feelings. This is especially true if he had difficult, demanding parents who shamed him when he cried or acted like a “weak.” This fear of commitment can also develop when a person is ashamed of their history or family. He may be keeping secrets about relatives who are in mental hospitals, in prison, or simply poor.
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Another version of this fear is associated with the internal feeling of having some terrible disadvantage (for example, shortness, physical defect, or intellectual inferiority). Such a man often says that ideal women do not exist, but he deserves the best, and therefore is in an eternal search.
