Inferiority complex in human life

Every person on our planet has had to face an obstacle at least once.
Immediately, anxiety arises, fear of varying degrees, a lack of understanding of what to do in this situation, and this is quite normal. A person overcomes all these sensations and solves the problem in one way or another. However, there are people who are so unsure of their own abilities that they are not ready to make any decisions. Sometimes, in order to get rid of the feeling of uncertainty, a person redirects his anxiety in another direction or closes it deep inside himself. And as a result, we can observe people who either become isolated on a permanent basis or splash out the energy of anxiety in the form of aggression, irascibility, etc. But why are such personalities formed? Our article will answer this question with the help of a story about an inferiority complex in a person’s life.

The concept of inferiority complex

First you need to understand the very concept of an inferiority complex.

The first scientist to research and explain the inferiority complex was Alfred Adler. The Austrian psychologist created his own system of individual psychology, in which he directly touched upon this concept.

A person with an inferiority complex feels different from everyone else, in a negative way. He feels abnormal, an order of magnitude lower than other people. Behind such feelings there is a vivid fear of being out of place in society, not accepted by people, lonely, unwanted by loved ones. Subsequently, we have a manipulative relationship with such a person, reproaches, devaluation, misunderstanding and frequent conflicts.

An inferiority complex often occurs when, at an early age, a child does not receive enough attention and emotional support from his parents. Other factors influencing such a sense of self include physical or cosmetic defects, psychological trauma, discrimination, parental suppression of the child’s personality, fears, and the like.

At the same time, Alfred Adler said that an inferiority complex is not a human shortcoming if compensation occurs, that is, the replacement of a feeling of abnormality with development in one area or another. An example of this is the famous psychologist Karen Horney, who considered herself absolutely ugly by beauty standards of the 19th and 20th centuries. She decided to compensate for the feeling of lack of external attractiveness by developing her intellect. And now Karen Horney's ideas and theories are used in psychology and taught in universities.

However, in cases where a person is unable or not ready to redirect the inferiority complex in the right direction, two situations arise.

The first option for the development of events is a person’s isolation. In this case, when for one reason or another an inferiority complex is formed, people do not put this energy of anxiety anywhere, plunging it into the subconscious. Then such a person closes himself off from the outside world so that nothing can remind him of, for example, certain traumatic events of the past. The problem is that anxiety does not disappear anywhere and from the back of our minds affects our lives. In such cases, a person does not even understand where protracted depression, suicidal thoughts, feelings of guilt, unstable emotional background, reluctance to do anything, and the like come from.

The second option is that the same energy of anxiety, arising from an inferiority complex, chaotically spills out into the surrounding social environment. In this case, a person often expresses aggression when faced with any difficulties due to a feeling of worthlessness, wrongness, and defectiveness.

At the same time, it is necessary not to forget that a person with an inferiority complex will definitely influence the people around him and his relationships with them. We will tell you about this further.

Symptoms and signs of an inferiority complex in women and men

You can find the strength to change the situation only by discovering in time that you are in the grip of a complex. The more manifestations of this syndrome you find in yourself, the closer your condition is to a crisis, and the sooner you need to seek help from a specialist. After all, mental balance is no less important than physical health.

Personality

The described problem directly affects the girl’s perception of herself, which is formed under the influence of assessments and criticism from the environment. This distorted self-image becomes an integral part of herself, even when she is away from society. The most common object of attention of the complex is its appearance. It is difficult to find a person who would be satisfied with his own appearance. Even those whom others evaluate as attractive are subject to self-criticism. Such experiences can become an impetus for development or degradation. Some people accept that they will achieve nothing and will remain failures for the rest of their lives. Others follow the path of overcompensation, working on themselves to achieve the desired result. The same thing happens if an individual has complexes about his intellectual abilities.

An inferiority complex often leads to inadequate perception of praise. When a complex person is given a compliment, instead of positive emotions, she will experience distrust and see in what was said an attempt to flatter or laugh.

Relationship

Complexity also affects the building of close relationships with people. If a girl is lonely, she may think about her inability to start a romantic relationship with anyone. If she is already having an affair, her vision of her soulmate may be distorted. For example, some people tend to overestimate the importance of a loved one in their lives. Suffering from a loser complex, many women endow the object of their sympathy with unrealistic traits, compare themselves with them and put up with the fact that nothing will work out between them. Equally important is the impact of the problem on relationships with parents. The complexist may feel unduly pressured to meet the high expectations of loved ones. As a result, he feels like a disappointment to his family, which leads to depression.

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Feelings of inferiority arise in the same way as the result of competition between brothers and sisters. Childhood traumas indeed haunt people throughout their lives, but to prevent them from poisoning their existence, they must be identified and controlled in time.

Success

A complex person often has implausible ideas about success. He observes those around him and compares their achievements with his own. Failure to meet one’s own requirements is perceived sharply negatively, and a feeling of inferiority appears. A loser complex can negatively affect career advancement. Surely you have the opportunities and resources to achieve certain heights in the professional field. But you don’t use them because your feelings of inadequacy prevent you from seeing your strengths. Thus, you only feed your insecurity and complexes.

Another manifestation of the problem is associated with the desire to compensate for one’s shortcomings through some kind of achievement. For example, a short person can buy himself a huge car; a couple having financial problems takes out a loan and has a luxurious wedding; a boy who is teased by his classmates is able to go above and beyond in the future to achieve a high position. In fact, all these attempts to show their worth do not bring true happiness, but only create its illusion.

Society

Those with feelings of inferiority are extremely worried and anxious. They have an imaginary feeling of high expectations from society, a need to be in the center of attention, expressing an extreme degree of dependence on other people's assessments. The complex is a source of fears, worries, and negative emotions. But all this is not true, since it is based on a person’s distorted ideas about how others see him.

Living with a partner with an inferiority complex

Despite the fact that many people know about an inferiority complex, there is still a chance to get into a relationship with such a person. But what will life look like with a partner with an inferiority complex who is unable to redirect energy in another direction? It is immediately necessary to clarify that not many people like this kind of life.

Such people constantly claim that you don’t love them and don’t pay enough attention to them. A person with an inferiority complex in a relationship will often be offended and find reasons (and these reproaches may even surprise you with their absurdity). But this is not the main problem. No matter how much love you give, how much attention you pay, how many gifts you give, and the like, it will always seem to a partner with an inferiority complex that this is not enough. And the point is not that you are not delivering something in this relationship, but that the person does not know how to accept love and see it from you. Subconsciously, a partner with a feeling of inferiority has formed the attitude that he is unworthy of love. Due to his inadequate self-esteem, memories of how he lacked maternal warmth in childhood (for one reason or another) or aggressive attitudes from others in the past, a person no longer believes that he can receive love. Therefore, whenever it manifests itself, he has a fear that it will end. And it requires more and more heat. Sometimes, in aggravated cases, violence may even appear in a relationship with a person with an inferiority complex.

At the same time, it is important to clarify that people who enter into this kind of relationship are subconsciously ready to tolerate all manifestations of an inferiority complex in their loved one. The question remains open as to why we find ourselves in such relationships. It is possible that now someone will think that the obvious explanation for this phenomenon is strong and sincere love. And this is probably one of the factors that influences us to stay close to such people, despite our own discomfort. But why do we even develop feelings for people with an inferiority complex? A psychologist can best help you figure this out, because the answer to this question is probably stored deep in your subconscious. Perhaps you are a person with the same problem as your partner, or you have been taught since childhood that this attitude towards yourself and others is normal (for example, you have seen similar situations in your family). And in order to break out of a relationship with a partner with an inferiority complex or avoid it altogether, you need to work through your own psychological problems and traumas.

How doctors at the Leto clinic treat inferiority complex

An inferiority complex is difficult to overcome on your own. It is important to enlist the help of an experienced psychiatrist and follow all medical prescriptions. The healing process is long. Treatment includes sessions of cognitive-behavioral and individual psychotherapy, personal growth training, and relaxation.

The patient is given the following tasks:

Recognize the problem at hand. Oddly enough, many people with an inferiority complex refuse to admit that they are behaving incorrectly. They avoid discussing their condition and communicating with people who are trying to “stir them up.” The most important thing is to persuade a person to come to the first consultation with a doctor. A specialist from the Leto clinic will be able to show the wall that the patient has built around himself and prove its detrimental effect on life. This will begin large-scale work to change self-awareness and sense of self.
Achieve a state of inner harmony and increase self-esteem. Using techniques of suggestion, relaxation, introspection, and stimulation, the doctor helps you understand where the complex came from, why it persists for so long, and what needs to be done to make all negative feelings a thing of the past. The doctor conducts practices that help a person see his strengths, reinforces every small step towards healthy self-esteem. After such work, the patient begins to be proud of himself and value himself as an individual. He is no longer afraid of the opinions of others. He reacts calmly to criticism.
Form life goals. A formed personality can build a harmonious life. In the psychotherapist's office, the first goals for the near future are set. They are needed so that the client understands what to do next, how to develop and become successful.

Treatment of an inferiority complex in the case of each specific patient is multifaceted and unique . There is no single scheme that will help everyone. The doctor selects therapeutic methods based on the root cause of the disorder. If the whole point is a broken child-parent relationship, deep work is carried out with the subconscious. If the condition is caused by psychological trauma received in adulthood, work is carried out according to the “here and now” scheme. In any case, the right solution will be found.

Overcome your inferiority complex with the help of experts. We will help you realize your own worth and uniqueness. Call - 8(969)060-93-93

Rules for taking care of yourself in a relationship with a partner with an inferiority complex

If, after reading our article, you realized that you are in such a relationship, then we suggest that you take into account the main rules of self-care in a relationship with a partner with an inferiority complex:

The most important thing is that being without a relationship is better than being in a relationship with a person with an inferiority complex. You need to understand that you are the closest and most important person. Self-care is one of the most important parts of your life.
If you still want to stay in a relationship with a partner with an inferiority complex, then learn to say the word “no” without changing your mind, and to defend your own boundaries. This is important for your own comfort.
Don't be afraid to tell your partner the truth, even if it may cause conflict. (if a person with an inferiority complex introduces violence into conflicts, then seek help from other people and learn to live without your partner).
Don't force yourself to do anything. If you do not want to fulfill your partner’s request at the moment, which is uncomfortable for you, then do not force yourself and take care of your emotional state.
Notice the manipulations of a person with an inferiority complex. Draw his (her) attention to the fact that manipulation has just occurred on his (her) part, devaluation of you, and the like. This will help open your partner's eyes to his behavior.

A huge number of similar rules can be derived, but the main thing is not to forget about yourself and do not try to save a partner with an inferiority complex at the cost of your own happy life (especially when he doesn’t want it himself).

Surrogates for a “full life”

Alfred Adler argued that an inferiority complex is formed in early childhood, when a child begins to realize that his possibilities are not limitless, and not all desires are realizable.

Perhaps the two most obvious limiters of our capabilities are the physical body (at the material level) with all its needs, and moralizing education (at the psychological level). Children's games filled with fantasy are one way to compensate for these limitations. Using toys, the child, overcoming limitations, plays out various roles that cannot be realized in real life - thus indirectly realizing his desires.

Over the years, the matured child continues to act out his limitations in games for adults that are relevant to his situation. You can sublimate your energy and express it in creativity. You can act out your complexes by terrorizing others - not the most productive option. You can pretend to be a special or great person, as spiritual masters do. You can realize yourself, like children, by being carried away by the world of imagination, immersing yourself in computer games, reading novels, watching TV series, where you forget yourself and live someone else’s life.

One of the most popular and socially approved options for compensating for an inferiority complex is the so-called “success”. It doesn’t matter what, the main thing is that the person himself no longer doubts his usefulness

That is, there are many options to calm doubts about yourself. It is not necessary to practice tyranny, delusions of grandeur, or pluck stars from the sky.

How to get rid of an inferiority complex?

But what should you do if, after reading the article, you caught yourself thinking that you have this complex? You can use a small list of rules that will answer the question: “How to get rid of an inferiority complex?”

Contact a specialist. In order to determine the causes of an inferiority complex, it makes sense to seek the help of a psychologist.
Adequately evaluate yourself. One of the main signs of an inferiority complex is often low self-esteem. Be honest with yourself about your own strengths. And development in those areas in which you think you are not successful enough will help raise your self-esteem.
Talk about the problem with loved ones. Very often, in order to understand the causes of an inferiority complex and ways to get rid of it, a person needs the support of family, friends or other close people.
Find a role model. Usually, examples for a person are those people who are somewhat similar to him, but have achieved more in life. This will become an incentive for development and overcoming life's difficulties.
Take time to relax. When you spend the day with a fun company or in an entertainment center, for example, you unload yourself emotionally. It is as if you are breathing in life and finding joy in it. In the fight against an inferiority complex, such relief will help stabilize the emotional background.

As we see, a person with an inferiority complex is not doomed to a lonely life and rejection by society. There are opportunities to compensate for the feeling of wrongness in various areas or to get rid of the complex altogether.

When in a relationship with a partner with an inferiority complex, always pay attention to yourself. And if a loved one turns to you for help in fighting this complex, then support him, because this process requires great effort.

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What does it develop from?

Why some people strive to increase their self-esteem, while others, on the contrary, “carefully” lower it, depends on many reasons.

Often a person develops an inferiority complex due to:

type of temperament or character accentuation (innate and acquired personality traits);
low social status;
conflicts in the family (with parents, spouses, children);
physical and intellectual disabilities;
systematic criticism from loved ones, lack of support, approval;
constant ignoring by others and significant people;
parental overprotection, in conditions of which there is no opportunity for the development of independence.

According to Adler, the factors causing an inferiority complex are:

expression of superiority of parents over children;
psychological trauma;
negativism of parents and their lack of acceptance of their own child;
phobias and fears about studying in educational institutions.

Adler believed that the “roots” of the emergence of an inferiority complex go deep into childhood, and the reasons for its development must be sought precisely in it.

The main reasons for the development of an inferiority complex

A group of factors leads to an inferiority complex. In clinical practice, experts count more than 10 causes of the pathological process. It is worth considering the main ones.

Miseducation

It is believed that the inferiority complex comes from childhood. That is, the patient is faced with traumatic events at the most tender and vulnerable age. Incorrect actions of parents in the first 5-6 years of life are especially dangerous. Then the intensity of the negative factor decreases somewhat, but no one gives guarantees. Therefore, the main recipe is to raise a child correctly. And here parents make two main mistakes:

Commit physical violence

The mother or father thinks it's okay to use the belt as a parenting method. But in fact, the opposite situation arises. The child does not feel safe and goes into prolonged self-reflection. Instills in himself attitudes towards his own worthlessness. After all, since a parent allows himself such cruel treatment, what can one expect from strangers and the world around him? In addition to the inferiority complex itself, a bunch of other violations are formed. Schizoid disorder, paranoid psychopathy, anxiety disorder. The risk of schizophrenia increases.

Allows psychological violence

It is no less destructive than the physical impact on a child. Among the weapons of psychological violence are insults and belittling of a child’s dignity. In childhood, when the psyche is most vulnerable, insults turn into attitudes. Parents especially often resort to psychological violence if the child does not meet their expectations. For example, he brought a 4 instead of a 5 from school. A deuce completely becomes a catastrophe on a universal scale. And here lies a serious problem. Focusing on parents and their expectations puts a person in a dependent position on others, on their opinions.

Of course, not all parents are inclined to such actions. There are other errors, which will be discussed below.

Unconstructive criticism

It doesn't matter who it comes from. However, unconstructive criticism of actions from parents is much more difficult to bear for obvious reasons. The mother is the first person the young patient encounters. People with an inferiority complex have almost every other encounter with a toxic tyrant mother. Usually raised without a father. Which well outlines the general picture of the development of the pathological process. An incorrect, false attitude is emerging. Since my mother treats me this way, it means that I am not like that (or not like that). What should I expect from the world around me?

Unconstructive criticism from other people in the form of ridicule and bullying leads to approximately the same consequences. But it does less harm when compared with ridicule from those closest to you.

Negative experiences in the past

A person suffering from an inferiority complex, as a rule, is distinguished by a certain personality and character. They force sufferers to extrapolate the past, its events, to future events, even hypothetical ones. When faced with problems, he is almost certain that he will not be able to solve them in the future. Factors of time and circumstances are not taken into account, as is the opportunity to benefit from a negative experience. For example: a student brought a C from an exam. Therefore, now he will always get C's and D's. Or at work, the boss responded rudely to a subordinate. Consequently, the employee is no longer valued. Or the person made some mistake that was pointed out to him. This is a disaster, now he will always be a loser. Such thoughts are given to people with the described pathological process. Counterproductive attitudes are not so easy to eradicate, because negative experience is one of the most powerful factors in the development of an inferiority complex.

One of the most striking examples is an attempt to meet a potential partner of the opposite sex. 1-2 refusals are considered a regularity, which means that I am not of interest to the opposite sex. This is the patient's thought. In a girl, such a refusal also provokes dysmorphophobia - dissatisfaction with her own body. In young people - less often.

The situation is even worse when implementing intimate relationships. A complex of sexual inferiority is added to the basic condition.

Features of personality type

According to Carl Jung, the so-called introverts are the most susceptible to negative experiences and other problems. These are people who are focused on their own inner world. They are vulnerable, prone to isolation and distrust. The most serious problems arise if such a person is deceived, ridiculed or betrayed. There may be problems with socialization, which is one of the causes of self-doubt.

If we talk about character accentuations, the stuck, dysthymic types are considered the most problematic. Patients with such warehouses are more susceptible to the development of psychopathy. Especially often an inferiority complex is formed in a closed, vulnerable child. Personality type, mental strength, mobility of mental processes. All this plays a key role among the organic causes of the inferiority complex.

Physical disabilities

Very common reasons for the development of an inferiority complex are physical problems. The most vulnerable in this regard are people with obvious physical disabilities. For example, diagnoses such as cerebral palsy, clearly noticeable changes in the structure of the limbs, and others. A classic example of a disorder in which a person feels inferior is short stature, although not always. Basically, this feature causes rejection among men.

Much in this case depends on the sphere in which a person grows. In the conditions of Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, and the post-Soviet space in general, such people feel inferior. For two reasons: firstly, non-acceptance by society; secondly, the inability to feel complete in an unsuitable environment.

With sufficient work with a psychologist, such patients cope with their problems and self-confidence appears.

Excessive parental care in childhood

The so-called hyperprotection. In the vast majority of cases, excessive care comes from the mother, most often a single mother. In this way, a woman tries to fully realize her maternal instinct. It is even worse if there is only one child in the family. Overprotection leads to the fact that a person cannot solve problems on his own. Does not feel full responsibility for his own life, his actions.

Hence the expressed uncertainty. Often there is also a lack of socialization, communication with peers, and poor communication skills. Such sufferers may well cope with the disorder, but only if they make an effort.

Lack of parental attention

In simple words, the child grows on its own, as they say, like grass. In this case, the perception of the world is disrupted. Normally, it is adults and parents who should give direction to the life of a little person. Determine what is good and what is bad and convey these simple truths to the child. When he tries to achieve everything on his own, there are “bumps” that could have been avoided. Confusion arises in the child’s head: what to do to get settled in life.

Low self-esteem arises, and through it, other components of the inferiority complex gradually increase. In the end, such children feel unwanted and abandoned.

Psychological trauma

Divorce of parents, death of a loved one, etc. The problem most often occurs in patients with a dependent personality type. Less common in schizoids, hysterics and other individuals with mobile accentuations. It may develop in other types of people.

Perfectionism

A personality quality that only gets in the way. In small quantities, a healthy dose of perfectionism helps work and other matters. But if this is a personality quality, then there is a special accentuation. It is accompanied by attempts to do everything perfectly. It is clear that this is a futile idea. Often such people seek approval from others, but do not receive it from everyone, since the ideal is unattainable and does not exist. The patient becomes upset, loses confidence in his own abilities, gives up what he started and no longer does what he did before. If a person is strong, then she repeats the same thing, tries again to achieve the ideal, but it doesn’t work. And so on in a circle.

The problem occurs both at work and in the family. Attempts to achieve a perfect result lead to the opposite result. There is a negative effect on the psyche.

Discrimination

Based on physical condition, nationality, and other factors. A person loses confidence in his abilities, feels unnecessary, not what he should be. Discrimination in personal life especially affects the psyche. Refusals at work lead to less disastrous results.

For the reasons described, an inferiority complex develops in both women and men. Do adults suffer from this disorder? Yes, the disorder mainly manifests itself in adolescence and adulthood, when everyone is trying to find their “place in the sun.” Although the problem begins to develop in a child from childhood. According to some theories, the disorder develops in adolescence and only appears during these years.

There are other theories. For example, Freud considered what is commonly understood as a disorder to be the result of unfulfilled libido. All these are parts of one whole.

Overcoming an inferiority complex with the help of a specialist

There are many methods that allow people to gain self-confidence, normalize self-esteem, and believe in themselves and their potential. But, unfortunately, they are not always able to find and apply them without third-party intervention. This is why many psychologists and psychotherapists specialize specifically in helping people with an inferiority complex.

Our specialists have the appropriate knowledge, skills and experience, and can offer their clients various therapy options. The most popular are:

Psychological training . There are many variations. Here is one of them: the psychotherapist invites the client to divide a blank sheet of paper into two parts, on one of which he should write his negative qualities, and on the other - positive ones. At the same time, the specialist analyzes what the client said and gives his assessment of it. After the client completes the task, the sheet of paper is cut in half. The “good” part remains for regular reading (for example, it is placed in a visible place on the house), and the “bad” part is torn into pieces or burned.
Family therapy . If during the conversation the specialist comes to the conclusion that the cause of the inferiority complex lies in some kind of childhood trauma, the client’s relatives, for example, parents, are involved in the work to neutralize it. Joint conversations and various tasks given by the psychotherapist during the training have a powerful effect in solving the problem.
Impersonation method . A specialist, talking with a client and analyzing his problem, gives him the task of conducting a dialogue with some inanimate object. This allows a person to express everything that worries him and talk it out. Often the task of “talking” with objects is given at home, where the client will be alone and nothing will distract or embarrass him. By the way, in many cases you can talk to pets.
"Protective field" method . The meaning of this method is that the psychotherapist instructs the client to “surround” himself with a “protective field” in any situation when someone makes comments or objections, criticizes or outright insults. A person imagines that he is surrounded by some invisible substance that does not allow the flow of negativity from the interlocutor to pass through and protects him from the effects of offensive, caustic and unfair words.

Naturally, these are not all the methods used by psychotherapists. It all depends on the characteristics of each situation and the severity of the inferiority complex. Sometimes they resort to complex therapy, thanks to which the most complex psychological problems can be resolved in whole or in part.