Tips on how to forget a guy and what to do with a love that no longer exists

For a girl who is too acutely experiencing a breakup with her beloved guy, it is useless to read lectures, call her to prudence, or say that she will have a whole carload and a small cart of such guys.

No arguments have any effect on most sufferers until they cry all their tears and give their parents a heart attack. They have one answer to all admonitions: I can’t forget him - period!

From the outside, especially through the eyes of adults, this suffering looks like a storm in a teacup, but some girls often really need serious psychological help. Read what psychologists advise in such a situation, how to forget a guy who decided to break up, and stop tormenting both yourself and your loved ones.

What to do to forget your ex-love

The hardest thing is for a girl for whom parting with her beloved was a complete surprise, when she hoped that love and understanding would reign in their relationship. And suddenly - a break. At first, the thought doesn’t even come to mind - how to forget your ex-boyfriend, because calling him ex... doesn’t work.

How to properly set yourself up after a breakup

In a situation where the breakup occurred unexpectedly on the guy’s initiative, it is correct to think in the direction that, obviously, he is not worth your love if he is capable of betrayal. The betrayal does not lie in the fact that the relationship has exhausted itself, but in the fact that all this time the guy pretended that everything was fine, reassured you, and “loved” you not for real. Such reasoning can lead to the fact that you won’t even notice how you managed to forget the ex-boyfriend you love.

If the breakup occurred after frequent quarrels and showdowns, think, perhaps fate is giving you a great gift by getting rid of a person with whom it is difficult to find a common language.

Is it worth it to suffer because you still love

The right thoughts do not always produce the desired effect in a girl’s head and broken heart. Despite all your efforts to forget the guy you love, you can still find yourself for a very long time thinking only about him, only reaching out to him in your soul. This is definitely the wrong path, destructive for you, taking away your time and energy. You shouldn’t suffer after a breakup, even if you still love the offender, it’s better to find ways to forget him quickly.

There is no point in grieving about the past, that is, about what cannot be corrected, about what you cannot influence.

How to deal with the fact that you like him unrequitedly

If, despite all your efforts to forget the guy you like, you feel your attachment to him turning into a disease, try doing auto-training. Self-hypnosis can be practiced either independently or under the guidance of an experienced specialist (psychologist or psychotherapist). First of all, in order to forget a guy you like unrequitedly, you need to get rid of depressive thoughts.

Table. How to deal with destructive thoughts about your ex-boyfriend

In addition to auto-training, it is useful to occupy your brain with some other work, besides sad thoughts about your ex-lover, and it is also useful to give your body feasible physical activity, which perfectly heals the wounds of the soul.

Tips from relationship psychology on how to quickly switch to another wave

To stop tormenting yourself and feeding yourself false hopes of getting the guy you love back, psychology advises forgetting your ex completely and irrevocably:

• avoid random meetings with him in every possible way;
• do not follow his life on social networks;
• “forget the guy on the phone” - delete his number;
• do not listen to music that you both liked, as well as any songs about unrequited love.

Instead of beautiful melancholy, fueled by piercing poems and notes, it is useful to start every morning with morning exercises to cheerful, dance music, and take a cool shower. A good move would be fitness classes, running or swimming.

Some serious activity for the brain will help you quickly forget a guy - work related to concentration, or study. You can enroll in English or driving courses, learn a new profession or engage in self-education. Handicrafts and similar things are not suitable - the brain remains free, and thoughts will return to your beloved guy again and again.

Some girls think that a new relationship will help get rid of longing for their loved one, but this is the same as treating poisoning with another poison. There is no guarantee that in such a state you will be able to adequately evaluate another young man and truly become attached to him. Most likely, you will unwittingly compare him with your ex-boyfriend, and the relationship will not work out. This means there will be new pain and another reason to lament over your bad luck.

First, try to forget the guy you love unrequitedly, take care of your complete “recovery” and only then confidently step into the future. Trust “fate”, wait for your time and for your man, who will truly be yours.

What causes the fear of parting with a loved one?

Often girls stick with guys. Even if serious problems and misunderstandings arise in a relationship that prevent it from developing further, the woman is still afraid to let her lover go and start a new life. Why is this happening?

Fear of separation arises for several reasons, the main ones being:

1. Serious feelings, love. The heart belongs to one man, and you don’t even look at the others.
2. Attachment, habit. Occurs in long-term relationships when the couple spends a lot of time together. It's hard to imagine what you will do if this man disappears from your life.
3. Fear of being alone. The girl thinks that no one will ever like her again, so the guy who is next to her is her last hope for a serious relationship.
4. Forced communication. When you and your lover are connected not only by living together, but also by mutual friends or the same place of work, it is difficult to decide to separate. In this case, one of the couple will have to forget about fun gatherings in the company or change jobs.
5. Having children. Afraid of hurting the child's feelings, disturbing his emotional state, or leaving him without a father, the girl cannot decide to break up with the young man.
6. Material dependence. A man pays for school, a rented apartment, or even completely supports his beloved. In this case, deciding to separate means losing financial security.

READ
How to support a friend who broke up with her boyfriend: methods and nuances

If you see that the relationship has reached a dead end and is not developing due to serious problems or misconduct on the part of your loved one, then you need to put aside the fear of separation and take this serious step.

How to help a friend forget her boyfriend

It is much easier to endure mental pain if you have a real friend who can listen and endure your cries and help you soberly assess the situation. How can she help a girl forget her boyfriend?

Friends who in such cases invite you to go to parties or suggest new acquaintances are doing the wrong thing. The right thing is to let the person come to his senses, recover from the pain, as they say, to become himself, and not a hunted, offended animal. A friend's help is to:

• do not add fuel to the fire by saying that all men are bastards and they need to take revenge, but explain that this happens to almost every girl;
• do not suggest that she forget her beloved guy over a glass of alcohol, but convince her to lead a healthy lifestyle “in spite of failures”;
• do not invite the suffering girl to parties where she may accidentally meet her ex-boyfriend or hear a melody reminiscent of him;
• do not let her be left alone with her sadness, but captivate her with a new hobby, sport or work.

In order to help a friend forget a guy, of course, it will take time and a certain patience, but this will be an excellent test of the strength of your friendship.

And if you empathize, then you must do it sincerely

Wait a while, don’t be afraid to see a psychologist

No matter how long you've been trying to get over your boyfriend, know that your feelings won't last forever. You are not the first and not the last person who suffers from unrequited love.

If none of the tips listed above helped you forget your boyfriend, try contacting a professional psychologist. It is not at all necessary to sign up for a personal consultation; you can find a good specialist who works remotely.

Hi girls! Have you encountered unrequited love? I also experienced a similar feeling. We get used to people, especially when we have feelings for them and live together for a certain period of life. It happens that you need not to think about the person you like, but to whom you have become indifferent. This is why we try to forget our loved one. If you don't stop thinking about him now, you'll only make life more difficult for yourself.

1. How not to think about your loved one?
2. Experience gained
3. Letting go of the feeling of victimhood

How to forget a man

If a breakup occurs after several years of intimacy or living together, the woman experiences even more stress. According to psychologists, at first she simply ceases to identify her own “I”, which for so many years was associated with her loved one. Unfortunately, for some women this stress becomes the starting point of personality degradation, complete loss of self. In order not to reach such a state, you even need to take a philosophical approach to this situation - perhaps fate has prepared a new turn of events in which there is no place for this person?

Causes of prolonged suffering

A girl cannot forget her ex for a long time when memories of him make her happier

Let's think about what may influence the fact that the process of forgetting is prolonged.

1. Hope for a still possible reunion.
2. The firm belief that you can love like this only once in your life. This means you will never experience this again.
3. You don’t want to forget your loved one, because the memories of him are very warm and make you happier.

Don't blame yourself for the fact that you will never be together again

In such cases, a person's focus can only be occupied by negativity, and it is a mistake to make only oneself the culprit.

Otherwise, negative energy will accumulate in you.

It is not your fault! What happened happened.

No need to scold yourself!

A fine line to keep in mind.

1. It’s cool that you look for your mistakes, analyze your behavior so as not to repeat your mistakes. BUT: find these mistakes and don’t attack or blame yourself!
2. Find mistakes for yourself so as not to repeat them in other new relationships, and not to go back to your previous partner!

You find your mistakes so as not to repeat them with a new partner and never step on the same rake again.

Remember this, and you no longer need to look for answers to questions from psychology about how to forget the person you love quickly and in a short time.

Don't blame your old partner and don't hold a grudge against him, remove your bitterness

Some people like to continue texting their exes even a year after a breakup or calling them from time to time.

People hold onto anger and negativity from past relationships, which then manifest themselves and have an effect in the next relationship. Having the same type of thinking in a new relationship, all the old mistakes will be repeated again.

Don't get caught in this vicious, repeating circle.

A fine line. Instead of becoming angry with your partner, it is better to deeply thank him for what happened!

Through hatred, you yourself will maintain an energetic connection with your former lover, cling to him and why in vain give energy to negative thoughts. Do you need it?

We also talk about this in an article on how to protect yourself from energy vampires.

You can easily fall into such hatred. Get rid of it, and thereby remove the worries about how to forget the person who hurt you once.

Don't look for a new partner out of revenge or to make your old one jealous.

• Don't fall into the trap of your ego! Don't have these low petty selfish motives.
• It is a grave mistake to find new partners only for the purpose of asserting yourself in the eyes of your ex!
• Otherwise, with such actions you will only strengthen the thought in your mind: “She/he is the only one.”
• And then all your selfish actions in order to cause jealousy or out of revenge are a big reaction to your ex-partner.
• Let it all go and enjoy a completely new partner and share your passion with each other.
• Have the perception “Now your ex is a random passerby” and there is no point in thinking about him.

Keep these principles in mind to help you close your questions about how to forget the person you love and see every day.

Remove from life all psychological anchors that evoke memories of your former passion.

What anchors need to be removed from life in detail:

• common music that you spent time listening to together;
• gifts (either hide in the basement or give to friends);
• do not go to those locations and places where you had cool dates together before;
• any forgotten things: be it clothes or a lens from a former passion that was not thrown away earlier (it’s time to throw it away);
• delete shared photos and videos on your computer, phone and other media.

Follow these steps, and you will get rid of restless thoughts about how to forget the person you love, but he doesn’t love you, without any conspiracies and other nonsense.

Antihero of your novel6

Now remember his shortcomings. About those qualities that you simply could not put up with.

Now is the time to come down to earth and remember that your lover is far from perfect.

Here you have another list. The anti-top qualities of a guy that you are not ready to put up with under any circumstances. In this list, also include qualities that are not shortcomings as such, but are simply unbearable for you.

If it seems to you that he is absolute perfection, we have to disappoint you - you are seriously mistaken. Either he skillfully pretended, or you don’t know him at all and fell in love not with him, but with the ideal image that you created in your head.