Midlife crisis in women: symptoms, manifestations

A midlife crisis in women is a condition that absolutely all representatives of the fair sex will have to face. He is characterized by apathy, bad mood, and a pessimistic view of the future. And these are not all unpleasant symptoms. They have a bad effect not only on the emotional state. Often a woman’s relationships with others deteriorate. As a result, she closes herself off and is left alone with her problems. What to do in this case? How to survive the age crisis?

Midlife crisis - what is it?

A midlife crisis is a condition characterized by loss of meaning in life, apathy, and depression. A woman changes as a person. Her past attitudes and behavior patterns are no longer satisfying. There is a revaluation of values. This time they are revised taking into account life experience, new knowledge and, possibly, other views on the world around us.

The midlife crisis for women is very similar to what teenagers experience during the transition period.

At what age does a midlife crisis appear?

How long does it last

The question of how long a midlife crisis lasts is difficult to answer unambiguously. This is not an acute respiratory infection in which everything will go away in a week or two. This is a state from which you may not get out. Often, experiencing such serious experiences, a woman does not find support even in her family and friends. She withdraws into herself, and those around her condemn her, considering her simply spoiled and capricious.

During the time the crisis lasts, a woman can lose everything that is dear to her. We are talking about friends, a beloved man, etc. People may not understand that she needs help. It won't necessarily ruin the relationship. In most cases, spouses continue to live together. But they can hardly be called a real family. These are just neighbors living in the same area. Between them there is not only passion and love, but even mutual understanding.

Crisis: male model

For men, SWR is usually associated with reaching a certain ceiling in their career (or, conversely, with the understanding that the desired peaks will never be achieved). The result is apathy, depression, lack of motivation. A healthy way out of a crisis is setting new goals and striving for new meanings. The focus of attention shifts. A person can suddenly change his profession, remember a youthful dream that he once did not dare to fulfill. Often people begin to value free time, communication, hobbies more, and pay more attention to their children. But there is a mandatory condition: a person must evaluate the results that he has achieved by the time of the SWR, recognize his success and move on.

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Other scenarios are also common.

The most common one is “gray hair, devil in the rib,” when, after more than 20 years of family life, a man leaves his wife of the same age for a young girl who looks at him with undisguised admiration.

And he talks about the sudden surge of strong feelings, about the boring way of life, about the boring predictability. Behind all this is, as a rule, self-affirmation. He needs to have time to prove to himself that “I’m still wow.” Compared to his young girlfriend, he feels successful. And she, unlike his ex-wife, still knows nothing about his shortcomings.

Another typical option for those who have not achieved success either in their career or in their personal life is to give up and lower their wings. Someone drinks and seeks respect from their drinking buddies, someone becomes a domestic tyrant and tyrant, tries to build children, a wife and a mother-in-law: being afraid means respecting them.

The motive is always the same - the search for respect from the outside. Because a person desperately lacks self-esteem during the SWS period.

How it begins

So, when a midlife crisis begins in women, it’s already clear. What does it look like? Depends on the woman herself. If she is melancholic by nature, she will think about him even before it starts. If she is naturally active, she may not even notice the onset of this unpleasant condition.

According to psychologists, only 10-25% of women are diagnosed with a “midlife crisis.” For others, it manifests itself as a normal transitional age, which occurs in the life of every person without exception.

A woman's midlife crisis develops in 2 stages. At the first stage, illusions and groundless hopes disappear. The woman takes for granted the fact that her youthful dreams will no longer come true. Because of this, she feels disappointed in herself. Bad mood and lack of vital energy become her constant companions.

The second stage of the midlife crisis is characterized by uncertainty and confusion. The woman is no longer the same as she was before. But she still hasn’t decided what she wants to become. During this period, a reassessment of values and goals occurs. They may seem incomprehensible and strange. But at the same time, future prospects are also not visible. They are very blurry.

Test yourself for toxicity

If you whine all the time and express dissatisfaction, then, firstly, you can also be removed from communication, because we all want positivity. Secondly, you are making things worse for yourself. If you feel like everyone is using you, make a list of situations where you used someone and where, on the contrary, friends and acquaintances helped you. Remember, people with pride often feel unsatisfied, used, unfulfilled and resentful. But if you reduce the degree of this feeling, selfishness will decrease and the crisis will recede.

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Main features

At every age, the crisis has its own symptoms. But there are a number of common ones:

Lack of motivation to act, boredom, apathy.
Change of partner, inconstancy.
The desire to quit your job and do something else.
Frequent mood changes. Sometimes sadness and melancholy suddenly give way to groundless joy and fun.
Persistent feeling of anxiety, prolonged depression.
Excessive self-criticism, self-examination, humiliation of oneself as a person.
The desire to dramatically change yourself and your life. Moreover, changes must occur in everything, from appearance to housing.

The appearance of one of the listed symptoms of a midlife crisis in women does not mean anything. Perhaps apathy is a consequence of banal fatigue. If they appear all at once, you should sound the alarm.

How does the age crisis manifest itself in women?

As mentioned above, at each stage the midlife crisis has its own manifestations. Let's take a closer look.

20-25 years

If there are no problems, then you will not be unsettled either by an unfair teacher at a university, or by a boss who, after much debate and abuse, still raises your salary or gives you a bonus. At home, nothing will irritate you either, since family is what you should rely on in life.

But even in such seemingly ideal conditions, difficulties often occur. Let's say you recently got married. What might you encounter?

Doubts about the correct choice. Perhaps the man did not live up to your expectations.
Quarrels with parents. Maybe your husband’s mother didn’t accept you, and your family didn’t accept him.
You really want a child, but you can’t get pregnant.
You become pregnant, but your man does not want children and insists on terminating the pregnancy.
The birth was very difficult and led to depression.

These factors provoke the development of a crisis. A woman faces apathy, begins to look for the reasons for what is happening within herself, and becomes despondent.

30-35 years

After 30 years, women suffer from the fact that they were never able to realize their plans and ideas. Let's say you were absorbed in work for many years, building a career and did not have time to start a family and give birth to a child. On the one hand, it is not too late to do this. On the other hand, you will have to sacrifice your position and what you have been striving for for so long. Duality and uncertainty spoil the mood and drive you into stress.

There is another scenario for the development of events during a midlife crisis during this period. Perhaps you have created a family and given birth to children. But because of this they were unable to build a career. You don't have to worry too much about this. But those around you are still looking for an opportunity to mention this moment. This could be a work-related girlfriend or a husband who has also reached certain heights. Agree, it’s unpleasant if at some point he says that he has nothing to talk to you about.

40-45 years

The degree of manifestation of midlife crisis symptoms during this period intensifies, since after 40 years a woman’s body undergoes serious changes. To a greater extent, this concerns hormonal levels. And, as you know, it is closely related to the emotional state. Plus, many women are faced with excess weight, gray hair, and wrinkles, which cannot but upset them. Some find it possible to turn to plastic surgery. Others can't afford it.

It turns out that at 40-45 and after 45 years of age, the crisis is associated with the fear of losing youth, attractive appearance, the ability to give birth to a child and build a family.

Another factor that provokes the development of a midlife crisis is the fear of loneliness. For most women, by this time, children have already become adults and leave their father's house. A once loving and beloved man either leaves the family or starts an affair on the side, perhaps with a younger competitor. There's no point in talking about work. Nowadays it is very easy to remain unemployed.

Psychological diagnosis of the 30-year-old crisis in women

More often, disorders go away on their own, without qualified help from doctors or a psychologist. In rare cases, if complications occur (depression, persistent deterioration of the condition), a person requires therapy, the selection of which helps to diagnose the disease.

A clinical conversation allows us to identify a midlife crisis in women. During the diagnosis, the psychologist notes unstable emotions and irritability in the patient. The woman does not see the meaning in the events taking place; she is dissatisfied with her marriage, family relationships and professional activities.

If there are complaints indicating serious depression or the development of other neurotic disorders, a comprehensive examination will be required. Special studies of the emotional and personal sphere are used, where questionnaires and projective tests are used (drawing of a person, Beck Depression Scale).

How to determine that a crisis has arrived?

There are signs by which a woman can identify her 30th birthday crisis. Why is this necessary? Firstly, to help yourself survive it and alleviate your condition. Secondly, it will give some peace of mind, understanding that the majority have such problems, instills faith in the future.

Dissatisfaction with yourself. The woman thinks more and more about how many opportunities she missed, that she did a lot of things differently than she should have. She failed to realize her potential and wasted her time.
New problems are coming into view. It seems that all life now consists only of them. Everything is wrong: the children are capricious, the husband does not appreciate, the girlfriends do not understand, at work they only try to frame and dump all the responsibilities.
Thoughts about approaching old age haunt me. This is not always noticeable. Sometimes a woman simply begins to hide her age and reduce it. Birthdays do not make her happy, but instill sadness, because this distances her from the image of a young and beautiful girl.
A desire for change appears. It can be so strong that you want to give up everything and start from scratch. However, you should not make rash decisions and destroy what has been created for many years. This will lead to new problems, but will not relieve inner turmoil.
Relationships with others become more and more tense, disappointments lead to scandals, sometimes even to a break in relations.

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When is it necessary to contact a psychologist or psychotherapist?

Patients who cannot cope with a midlife crisis on their own will need the help of a doctor. Experts recommend contacting a psychologist or psychotherapist to choose the right safe and effective medicine. The crisis of 30 years in women (symptoms of disorders will help the doctor make a diagnosis) without qualified help entails serious consequences and complications.

Causes of the crisis

There are many reasons why a midlife crisis occurs. It is difficult to say what exactly will trigger its development. But we can highlight a number of main ones.

Professional stagnation

If a woman does not work for a long time, for example, because of maternity leave, she loses motivation. Or maybe at some point she realizes that she chose the wrong profession. Another option is the need to constantly be present in the workplace and develop. Even a small miss can result in her simply not being able to catch up with her colleagues.

Fear of loneliness

Sometimes at the age of 35-40 a woman has no children and no family in general. She does not want to look lonely and unwanted in the eyes of others. Because of this, he builds relationships for the sake of status. And this necessarily brings with it additional worries and anxieties.

Family

There are 2 options for the development of events. The first is when a woman gets married either for the first time or for the second time. She has new obligations, everyday problems and other difficulties. She has to change her last name. All this leads to a crisis and difficulties with self-determination. The second option is having a child (it doesn’t matter whether it’s your first or not). Here a misunderstanding arises between older children and the baby or husband. Everyone wants attention, but a woman can’t break away. And this is also a problem.

Fear of death

A midlife crisis on this basis is equally common in both women and men. A person understands that he is getting older every year. Take into account the fact that he may not be happy with something in life. If this is the case, a woman can go in two ways:

Find someone she will blame for what is happening. Often this is a husband, work or one of the relatives. She will exclude the “culprit” from her life and try to arrange it differently. But he soon realizes that there is no escape from himself. The problem will remain unresolved.
Relationships with loved ones, including your spouse, will worsen. But the woman will continue to live with him, feeling responsible for the family and children.

The second option is most often practiced.

Hormonal disbalance

Fluctuations in hormonal levels lead to changes in physical and emotional well-being. They are difficult to deal with. A woman begins to “twist herself” and sees problems even where there are none in reality.

Changes in appearance

Almost all representatives of the fair sex react sharply to them. The difficulty is that such changes are easy to notice, but difficult to hide.

It is especially difficult for beautiful women who are accustomed to the attention of the opposite sex.

How to help yourself?

First, try to calm down and give yourself time. Some experts do not advise doing anything, but suggest waiting until it goes away on its own. It will, of course, pass, but it may drag on for several years, turn into depression or lead to the destruction of relationships with loved ones. Therefore, it is worth doing everything to alleviate your condition.

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Let's look at what not to do:

Take antidepressants. They will reassure you, but will not solve the problem. This way, you risk getting addicted and in the future, all problems that arise can only be solved with medication.
Return to youth. Failure to accept oneself sometimes leads to strange behavior: teenage clothes and hairstyles, the desire to get into the company of those who are much younger and adapt to their interests, communication style, etc.
Lying about your age. This is also a consequence of the inability to accept oneself. Think about it, or better yet, consult a specialist.
Write yourself down as a loser and start whining about it.
Resign yourself to fate and continue to lead the same life in the role of a weak-willed creature who is unable to change anything.

This is your life and you can change it, you just don’t have to yet. Being in this state, it is difficult for a woman to think rationally, so it is better to postpone making important decisions until the crisis is over. After this, it is quite possible that you will change your mind about changing anything. Now your main task is to take care of yourself, so you can quickly overcome your fears and return to a full, joyful life.

Pay attention to appearance

At 30, a woman has the opportunity to get rid of the first signs of aging. To do this, just pay more attention to your body and face. It is recommended to start going to the gym and use cosmetics that prevent premature skin aging.

With the help of makeup you can restore your former youth very quickly. If you look at some show business stars, it becomes obvious that even at 60 years old you can look twice as young not only thanks to plastic surgery, but also with the help of well-chosen cosmetics.

It would be useful to undergo healing procedures. If a woman begins to feel dissatisfied with the way she looks, it is recommended to undergo a massage, get a new hairstyle, change her wardrobe and consult with a stylist, do yoga, dancing or any other creative activity. Such actions help to get rid of depression very quickly. If a woman manages to change herself, then in the reflection in the mirror she will see a completely different person and will stop thinking about her aging.

Don't make a tragedy because you haven't gotten married yet

People around her always put a lot of pressure on a woman in matters related to the family. There is an opinion that if a woman does not get married before the age of 30, then she is no longer destined to find her soul mate and start a family. The same applies to the fact that if she does not give birth to a child before this period, she will most likely remain childless or risk giving birth to a baby who will be in poor health.

Because of this imposed opinion, many women, from childhood, develop strong fears that turning 30 is some kind of turning point in life. However, if a girl does not yet have a lover, this does not mean that she can give up on herself. If friends and family put a lot of pressure on a woman, then you need to try to explain to them that now her career comes first or that she is simply not yet ready to become a mother and wife. It is worth asking them to avoid such questions and try to pay attention to what she has already achieved success in.

You need to understand that in the 21st century such stereotypes are no longer relevant. In many foreign countries, women begin to think about starting a family and having children only after 30 years of age. Having a child at an older age is considered to be deliberate and mature.

The same applies to the opinion that women after 30 years are not able to give birth due to the physiological characteristics of her body. There are a huge number of examples of how they gave birth to children not only at 30, 40, 50, but also at 60 and even 70 years old.

If a woman is not yet ready to start a family, then she does not have to force herself to do it. You need to understand that this is her choice and even if she decided never to get married, then perhaps she is happy in this state. You need to accept yourself and stop adapting to the world around you. A woman’s life belongs only to her and only she has the right to decide how and when she will build her personal life. The absence of a significant other or children should not darken your life.

Build a career and enjoy hobbies

To get rid of the age crisis, some people prefer to plunge headlong into their favorite job. If a career brings pleasure and a woman happily awaits the next promotion, then there is no point in thinking about other problems.

If she works in a place that does not evoke any positive emotions in her, then she needs to think about changing jobs. You need to do what you love, which will always bring satisfaction. In addition, building a career helps to take your mind off any problems.

If a woman does not work or has a lot of free time from work, then she should spend it not only with family and friends, but also find an interesting hobby for herself, start traveling. By seeing other countries and cultures, a woman will begin to realize that she is in full bloom and has her whole life ahead of her.

If it is not possible to go somewhere far away, then it is enough to start spending time in the fresh air somewhere outside the city. Don't deny yourself the desire to go to a bar or nightclub. It is a mistake to believe that such places are only for very young girls and boys.

Take care of your health

If a woman is worried that her youth is leaving and she is getting older every day, then she needs to reconsider her diet. To restore your body to tone, it is enough to start eating healthy food, wholesome, fresh and natural products.

It is important to maintain psychological youth. You can't lose interest in life. Any everyday little thing should make you happy. To improve your psychological state, experts recommend eating as many green and yellow vegetables as possible. It would be a good idea to include cereals and legumes in your diet.

In the morning you need to start doing exercises. This helps you to cheer up very quickly and forget about your problems. In addition, morning exercises help tighten muscles and skin that begins to sag. It is recommended to give up fatty foods, alcohol, smoking and other bad habits.

Communicate with loved ones

If family and friends understand the condition a woman is in and do not put much pressure on her, then it is worth devoting more time to them. During a midlife crisis, it is very dangerous to be alone. At this time, very strong feelings come over the woman. Therefore, it is necessary to go to your relatives, take an interest in their lives and spend time with them.

It will be useful to meet with friends, former classmates and/or make new acquaintances. Such an active life will help a woman forget about her problems.

It is necessary to make sure that she has no free time left, then she will simply have no time to immerse herself in sad thoughts. If a woman cannot organize her leisure time on her own, then her close people should think about it.

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Attend trainings and seminars

Very often, in order to quickly cope with a stressful state, it is necessary to understand what a crisis is and realize that almost all women go through this period of life. For this purpose, it is worth going to psychological training, which is dedicated specifically to the midlife crisis. Additionally, it is recommended to attend classes that will help you develop greater self-confidence, find a new hobby, meet your soulmate, etc.

If you don’t want to share your problems with a large number of strangers, you should visit a psychologist and tell him about your problems. The specialist will help the woman create new goals for herself that will help her recharge her energy and understand that a new chapter is just opening in her life.

Get rid of the feeling of responsibility for everything

If a woman has been suffering from excessive workload for many years, carrying all the household chores and at the same time being forced to pursue a career and bring money into the house, then it is not surprising that she becomes depressed. To ease her emotional state and get rid of problems, a woman needs to communicate with loved ones and ask them to help make her life easier for a few months.

It is recommended to do the same at work. To do this, you need to explain to your superiors that she is now going through one of the most difficult periods of her life. Therefore, the ideal option would be for the director to empathize with the woman and shift some of her responsibilities to other employees.

Such a change will help her breathe deeply and return to the usual rhythm of life. If it is impossible to get a break at work, then you should go on vacation and go to rest.

Is it possible to overcome a midlife crisis without outside help?

It all depends on the properties and characteristics of each individual person. In this regard, psychologists identify 4 behavioral models:

Spontaneous. The woman is not organized. She never plans ahead, but adjusts her life to the events happening around her.
Functional. There is no clear plan here either. But the person is trying to do at least something, for example, choose the direction of movement.
Contemplative. There are plans, but only momentary ones are being implemented. At the same time, the woman hopes that circumstances will develop favorably for her.
Creative. This behavior is the least common. A woman not only makes plans and sets goals, but also brings them to life. In addition, she knows how to use circumstances to her advantage.

Women with a creative model of behavior face a midlife crisis less often than others. But remember - everything is in your hands. How you react to a situation is up to you.

Advantages

Despite the many problems that a woman’s midlife crisis brings with it, it also has positive properties:

Helps you look at yourself from a different perspective and, if necessary, change your thinking and behavior.
A crisis is often an impetus for further growth and development. If you treat it correctly, you can not only avoid depression, but also gain something new.

Also, a woman has the opportunity to soberly evaluate her life, to understand whether everything in it is going the way she wanted. Perhaps something needs to be changed.

Instead of negative thoughts, take positive actions

Think clearly about how to realize your potential, what you would like to do for your own benefit and for others too. Make a clear plan for a year, for six months, for a month in the area that is, as they say, “sluggish” in you and requires serious adjustments. Practice shows that we often avoid it and put pressing problems on the back burner, but results, as a rule, can be achieved there. Analyze where your growth zones are and act.

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Tips for overcoming a crisis

So how to survive a midlife crisis? First you need to understand its nature. This is a psychological problem like many others. And in especially serious cases, it requires the help of a specialist. But there are some steps you can take on your own.

Don't try to run away from the crisis. Acknowledge its existence. Don't suppress your feelings and emotions, this will only make the situation worse. It’s not for nothing that they say that awareness of a problem is the first and main step towards solving it.
Switch your attention to something new and interesting to you. Remember what you wanted to do? Maybe drawing? Or conquering mountain peaks? Why not do it right now? By the way, sometimes a hobby brings good money.
Change your lifestyle. We are talking about changing your diet, playing sports, giving up bad habits. In just 2-3 months you will see the fruits of these actions: clear skin, improved overall well-being, good mood.
Consider an active holiday. Don’t think that after 30, evenings need to be spent with your family reading a book or watching TV. In any case, you need new emotions and impressions. Therefore, go to exhibitions, concerts, fairs. Try to get creative.
Let your emotions out. One of the available ways is tears. Do not accumulate resentment and irritation within yourself. This will not lead to anything good. If you want to cry, cry. This is not weakness. Another opportunity to let your emotions out is to take up martial arts.
Change your occupation. Just don't do it spontaneously. Make sure your job is truly a source of stress. If this is the case, create a so-called “safety cushion” and quit.
Find someone to care for. Another way to cope with a midlife crisis. Perhaps it's time to think about children. If you have children, but have already grown up and moved away in all directions, get a pet. You definitely won't be bored. Taking care of an animal will leave no time for bad thoughts. But remember about responsibility for a living being. This is not a toy.

If these tips for overcoming the age crisis did not help you, do not hesitate to contact a psychologist. He will help you identify the root of the problem and direct energy in the right direction. Also, go see an endocrinologist. Perhaps you need to correct your hormonal levels. In this case, medications will help.

Is it possible to avoid a crisis?

Do women always have a midlife crisis? All women go through it. Some people successfully overcome it. But it also happens that it lasts a long time. It all depends on how he is treated.

It is easier to survive a crisis if you follow a number of simple tips:

Honestly analyze what happened to you in the past.
Accept yourself for who you are. Change if necessary.
Prepare for a crisis in advance.
See the transition period as a new experience.
Don't try to hold onto your youth and the past.
Keep busy.

New acquaintances will help you survive the midlife crisis. If a woman does not have a family, it can be a romantic relationship.

Interesting Facts

Numerous studies conducted by psychologists have revealed several interesting points regarding the midlife crisis in women. Here are some of them:

If a woman has problems in her family, it will be much more difficult for her to survive the crisis.
Symptoms of this condition are more pronounced in those who work in large teams. It is not so noticeable among managers.
The transition period is almost always characterized by dissatisfaction with the chosen profession.
During a crisis, a woman realizes the value of family. But only married women think about self-development, communication, and entertainment. And unmarried people want family gatherings and comfort.

And one more fact - women in divorce during a crisis period, first of all, put their prestige, the opinions of others, and status first.