Victim psychology: causes, symptoms and how to get rid of it

Do you constantly feel like you have no control over the situation or that other people are out to get you? Or do you feel like bad things keep happening to you no matter what you do? If you find yourself blaming other people for events or situations in your life, you may have what is called a victim mentality.

People with a victim mentality feel like bad things keep happening and the world is against them. You may feel like everyone is against you, whether it's your partner, your colleagues, or even your family or friends. Even if you can do something to improve the situation, you never take responsibility for anything and feel like everything is out of your control.

You can take things personally, even if they are not directed at you. You may be thinking, “What did I do to deserve this?” You may also often feel resentful.

Chances are you've been through a difficult time in your life or experienced trauma, but at the time you didn't have coping strategies and you developed a negative perspective or victim mentality. It made you believe that life just happens to you and that you are not responsible for what happens in your life.

Even when people come and try to offer you solutions, you're likely to come up with a list of reasons why those solutions don't work and leave those who offer help frustrated or wondering what went wrong.

You may even question why you continue to behave this way. In fact, there are probably some additional benefits to not changing the victim's mindset. You may receive sympathy or attention for your suffering because of what happened to you. You may feel relieved that others are offering you help or encouragement. You probably never want to feel vulnerable again, so it's easier to play it safe.

This article discusses what victim mentality is, the signs and symptoms of this mindset, and how you can learn to eliminate some negative thought patterns.

What is victim psychology?

Although victim psychology is not a recognized diagnosable condition, it is a common term and has other alternative names such as victim syndrome and victim complex.

People with a victim mentality have three beliefs:

Bad things have happened in the past and will continue to happen to you.
Others are to blame for your misfortune.
There's no point in trying to make changes because it won't work.

People who have a victim mentality find it easier to wallow in negativity than to try to save themselves, and you may even impose this mindset on other people.

At its core, the victim mentality is rooted in trauma, suffering, and pain most of the time. When you experience a traumatic situation, usually at the hands of other people, you may learn that you are helpless and that nothing you do in the future will change the situation.

It makes you feel vulnerable and scared. You decide not to take responsibility, even if there are some actions you could take.

Victim in domestic relationships

Initially, this condition may seem different from the usual victim syndrome. However, from the perspective of psychology there is a direct connection. The syndrome is more common in everyday life and in the family. It is called stopped life syndrome. The person moves away from problems. However, delayed life syndrome rarely ends with sad consequences, which cannot be avoided with victim syndrome.

It happens that a tyrant husband humiliates and beats his wife, who complains to her mother and friends about her unbearable life and the impossibility of existing with her husband. Relatives realize that it is necessary to stop the violence, leave the husband, and start a new relationship. However, the woman does not do this, because she is used to it and feels comfort from the current situation. Her complaints boil down to a desire to hear sympathetic phrases and pity.

Is the victim mentality constant?

It's understandable that you might feel this way after a series of traumatic events, but the truth is that there are always several factors involved in any bad situation. While you may not have been able to control what happened to you in the past, it is likely that you have some degree of control over what happens to you in the future.

For example, if you have been unsuccessfully trying to find a job, there is an opportunity to learn from what didn't work so that you can try to make some changes in the future. In contrast, a person with a victim mindset will have little interest in taking actions that can lead to improvement.

Additionally, when other people try to help you, you may fall into self-pity and argue that it won't work. In other words, what you really want to do is just feel sorry for yourself rather than strive for any meaningful change.

Although it is normal to feel bad about what happened to you and to try to cope with difficult emotions. Anyone with a victim mentality must find an end to self-pity and work toward change and healing. Otherwise, your feeling of victimhood and powerlessness will accompany you for the rest of your life.

The truth is that life will never stop challenging you, and if you feel like nothing you do makes a difference, then you will go through difficult times for the rest of your life.

One of the most common signs of victim psychology is ongoing sabotage and negative thinking. The good news is that this is not a hereditary trait; rather, you have learned to behave this way. You were probably a victim at one time, but you don't have to remain a victim.

The victim blames others for his current situation, even if others had nothing to do with it and are themselves to blame (or at least partially).

Yes, your rights were violated and you did not deserve what happened to you. You deserve empathy and compassion—and understanding. And you can give these things to yourself without waiting for someone else to give them to you.

What does it mean to be a victim

These signs will help you understand that you are in the position of a victim.

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You have no control over your own life

The victim is forced to have a way of thinking, a pattern of behavior, and even a style of clothing. The steering wheel is almost always in the wrong hands.

Victims are primarily those who spend their lives dictated by other people. They discover that they are doing things that deep down they dislike, or are being drawn into activities that are alien to them, bringing mainly only a feeling of regret.

"How to get rid of the victim complex"

You are operating from a position of weakness

People with a victim complex often believe they are not smart or capable enough to take a proactive stance. Therefore, they choose a position of weakness: they shift important decisions to other people who, in their opinion, are stronger and firmer. Victims avoid independence even in small things: they give up the right to choose a dish in a cafe or obediently go to a movie they don’t want to watch.

Life isn't working for you

If it seems that you spend all your energy and time to please others, are forced to adapt and do what you don’t like out of a sense of duty, you are in the position of a victim.

Anxiety and self-deprecation are your companions

The victims suffer from an inferiority complex. They belittle themselves in every possible way in their internal dialogue and in front of other people. This manifests itself even in small things. For example, a person does not accept compliments, leaves a burnt piece of pie for himself, or agrees to a low salary.

Victim psychology - main features

If you're unsure whether you have a victim mentality, here are some potential signs to look out for:

You blame other people for how your life is going.
You feel like everything is stacked against you.
You have trouble coping with failures.
You have a negative attitude towards most situations.
When someone tries to help you, you lash out in anger.
It makes you feel a little better when you feel sorry for yourself.
You tend to hang out with other people who also like to complain and blame others.
You find it difficult to make changes in your life.
You feel like you lack support from other people.
You lack self-confidence or low self-esteem.
You feel that others must accept that you have been a victim.
You want the people who did you wrong to admit what they did.
You have a very black and white view of other people.
You lack empathy for other people's problems.
You tend to overthink situations.
You are passive as you go about your days.
You think the world is an unfair place.
You are very attentive to what might happen.
Emotionally unavailable to other people.
You feel like failure is constant.
You have a constant feeling of helplessness.
You have a penchant for disasters.
You always feel that other people in life are better off than you.

Psychological behavior of the victim

Below are some of the most common ones:

Tendency to blame other people.
Don't take responsibility for your life.
Be vigilant towards other people and react broadly to little things.
It's very good to recognize when people have bad intentions.
Feeling like everyone else has it easier than you, so you don't try to take action.
A feeling of relief when you receive sympathy or pity and seek it out as a result.

Who is a victim and its signs

The victim syndrome in psychology, although extensive, has a very clear and targeted description. You can diagnose this condition both in yourself, by familiarizing yourself with the symptoms, and in others. With yourself you will have to think about whether to leave everything as before or whether there is an opportunity to bring positivity into life, but with others you will need to learn to resist manipulation or completely exclude the person from your life.

Constant complaints regarding one’s own health, work, the situation in the country, or even the weather are considered classics of sacrificial behavior. Absolutely any reason and opportunity to whine is suitable and the victim uses them. If nothing hurts, it means they were overloaded with documents, and if they gave you time off, it means it started raining nasty. Concentration on the negative, its active search and almost drug addiction to notifying others about existing problems. It is difficult for the victim to switch to positive things or even think about what can be done to improve the situation.

The psychology of the victim is such that the feeling most often inherent in it, one might even say the emotional background, is resentment. Everyone around does not understand, they offend and do not care enough about the poor and unhappy person, speak with an offensive intonation or mean something bad under plausible phrases. Grievances are not expressed, they are accumulated, nurtured and carefully stored, but still those around them find out about them, only not through constructive dialogue, but through heavy silence or by a martyr’s expression on their face. This gives rise to a lot of claims to others and a style of interaction with society appears, as if a person is owed everything, and a lot, regularly and on an unrequited basis.

In relation to oneself, a decrease in self-esteem and perception of oneself as a small or teenager is characteristic. Other people always seem smarter, their advice is correct, they reason sensibly. This is a way of shifting responsibility - you don’t think about it, and you’re not responsible for the consequences, because the one who came up with it is to blame. And since the world does not particularly care about those who do not think with their own heads, all sorts of troubles begin and then the victim recognizes the reality as frightening and unsafe. It’s like considering a saucepan bad just because it burned when you touched it without a protective glove. The victims’ perception of reality is very specific and, although it is subject to some kind of logic, it is quite distorted in relation to common sense and the principles of responsibility.

Manipulation is an integral part of the victim’s behavior, because if she suffers, then there must be an offender causing this suffering. When such a person is not found on his own, he is made from someone nearby. The husband can be blamed for the loss of youth, the parents for the ruined fate, the boss for the bad appearance, and so on ad infinitum. The victim always has an enemy who receives maximum claims and provocations. Even the ideal ones will be taken out, they will find something to complain about, they will ask for opposite things at the same time, so that there is a reason to be offended by the failure to fulfill one. For example, they may tell you not to help with cleaning, complaining about your health. Another person falls into a trap where helping means violating a request, and not helping means ignoring that the other is feeling bad. There will be complaints in any type of behavior, because victims can specifically do something for others, even when they are not asked, in order to later be reproached for this.

Psychology of the victim

What attitude accompanies the victim mentality?

Here are a few approaches to be wary of:

Feeling overly pessimistic about your future.
Feeling of suppressed anger.
Feeling entitled to the sympathy of others.
Feeling protected no matter what other people say.
Feeling like there is no point in looking for solutions.
Seeing people as black and white or good and bad.
Reluctance to take risks.
Exaggerate the risks of situations or how bad they might turn out.
Constantly suppress yourself.
Feeling of learned helplessness .

What is victim syndrome (VS)

A character trait acquired during personal formation, as a result of which an individual constantly feels like a victim of circumstances, is called a syndrome. A person associates everything that happens in his own life with external pressure, while sincerely considering himself a victim.

Important! In psychology, such a personality disorder, in which the patient not only considers himself a hostage to circumstances, but also needs to remain in this state, is called victim syndrome.

This disease is not inherited and is not congenital. Women suffer more from this pathology, but men too. The victim in this case wants to suffer, sincerely believing that this is fate, that there is no point in fighting circumstances. Negative thoughts and attitudes prevail in the mind, which a person cherishes and does not want to change. In his opinion, he is normal, it is everyone around him who turns his life into hell and is to blame for everything. Even if at a certain moment no troubles happen, the individual considers this abnormal and prepares for the worst. Over the years, a person develops the habit of suffering and experiencing some pleasure from it.

The appearance of a victim of circumstances

Victim Beliefs

Finally, let's look at the beliefs held by people with a victim mindset. Below are the most common beliefs that you can hold if you have this mindset.

In a sense, this is a mindset based on learned helplessness.

Bad things always happen to me.
There's no point in trying to change because I can't do anything about what's happening.
I deserve the bad things that happen to me.
Nobody cares about me or what happened to me.
I don't know what to do to change something.
I have no choice what happens to me.
I have to accept what is happening to me.
I can't change my life.

Portrait of a patient with victim syndrome

Since the pathology is manifested by a whole complex of different signs, it is possible to draw up a general portrait of a patient with victim syndrome. For such a patient it is typical:

Depressed mood. People with the syndrome are absolute pessimists. They always notice only the bad and are sure that even their relatives want to offend or set them up. Therefore, they have practically no reason to rejoice.
Egocentrism. For patients there is no other correct opinion than their own. And if someone tries to convince them, they will only receive a storm of indignation and hysterics in response.
Not accepting your own failures. This phenomenon can also occur in the lives of absolutely healthy people. In case of disorder, the situation repeats itself much more often. At the same time, the patient completely refuses to admit guilt and, on the contrary, only looks for those to blame. But he is unable to express an opinion because of his own timidity and shyness.
Joy in other people. People with the syndrome react especially vividly to the happiness of colleagues, friends or even relatives. And it’s impossible not to notice. Patients complain of a lack of luck and luck in themselves and, as a result, are very upset by the success of others.
The need for increased authority. It is important for patients to regularly feel like a significant and important person both at work and in the family. Their every action and decision requires approval and encouragement. If this does not happen for a long enough time, then the patient develops an inferiority complex.
Frequent complaints. People with victim syndrome love to talk, or rather, complain. All events that happen in their lives necessarily have negative consequences. And it is almost impossible to convince patients.
Avoidance of responsibility. This symptom can be noticed already in early childhood, when the child does not admit to what he has done and shifts his blame. But if in youth such behavior can still be considered a manifestation of immaturity, then in adults it is a clear sign of victim syndrome. For example, when a person refuses a promotion at work in order to avoid certain obligations.
Attempts to evoke pity. At first glance, this sign is not special, because any person would be happy, for example, with the help of loved ones and their care during a cold. But in patients with the syndrome, the need for support is constantly present. Every minute they are ready to talk about any difficult moments of their life, but at the same time they are unable to listen to their interlocutor at least once and help him.
Expecting only negative results. Patients like to exaggerate the consequences of their actions. They believe that any situation will definitely have an exclusively negative ending. This symptom manifests itself especially strongly when the victim commits some not very good deed.
Excessive independence. Patients with the syndrome can easily help their friends and relatives, but will be categorically against retaliatory actions. It is important for them to feel unhappy, and this is only possible when there is a negative situation. From the outside, this behavior looks like stubborn and stupid persistence.
Inability to refuse. People with victim syndrome usually cannot refuse others. Therefore, any request, even the most humiliating for the patient, will certainly be fulfilled. This occurs due to the patient’s fear of remaining alone and unnecessary to anyone at all.

All these signs are common to patients with the disorder. But do not forget that each person is individual, so the manifestations of the disease may vary.

What is the benefit for the victim?

Psychologists and psychiatrists have long come to the conclusion that patients with victim syndrome are excellent manipulators. With their complaints and negative attitude towards everything that happens in life, they easily overcome their goals and achieve unprecedented heights. Moreover, their numerous failures and problems can serve as a good excuse in any situation. And shifting one’s own obligations onto other people is also a fairly thoughtful and convenient move.

What causes victim thinking?

Below are some of the most common reasons.

Experiencing past trauma where this thinking developed as a coping mechanism.
Multiple negative situations where you had no sense of control.
Constant emotional pain that makes you feel helpless or trapped, causing you to give up.
When someone has betrayed your trust in the past, you feel like you cannot trust future people (especially your parents or partner).
Secondary gain after the initial period (for example, making others feel guilty to gain attention).

Psychology of the victim - consequences

Below are some of the most common results that can happen if you persist in this mindset:

Feelings of guilt, shame and depression.
Feeling disappointed in the world.
Feeling hurt and that people don't care about you.
Feeling resentful towards other successful people.
Feelings of depression, isolation or loneliness.
Problems in relationships or problems at work because others feel manipulated or blamed.
Poor health or self-destructive behavior.
Feeling like you thrive on drama and refuse to make changes when faced with failure.
Persistent negative emotions such as fear, sadness and anger.
Trusting therapists or authority figures can take a long time.

How to stop the victim mentality

If you identify with all the signs and symptoms of a victim mentality, you may be wondering how to improve your mood.

Below are some tips to help you cope better and move into a better mindset:

Choose to either leave situations or accept them.
Speak up to take back your power and make a difference.
Read self-help books such as The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
Forgive yourself or others who have harmed you (not accept, but rather forgive) to reduce hostility and trauma reactions.
Seek help from a therapist to help you deal with past trauma.
Develop your emotional intelligence .
Take responsibility for what you can control in a life situation and how you respond.
Take control of who you spend time with.
Practice self-care to treat yourself with compassion and kindness .
Practice self-love and see yourself as a worthwhile person.
Get into the habit of journaling to help you get rid of bad feelings.
Start letting go of things that don't align with your values or your life goals.
Make yourself a priority and take care of how much energy you expend.
Identify personal goals that you can strive to achieve.
Figure out how to get the same benefits you got with a victim mentality (like self-care).
Practice gratitude for what you already have in life.

Where does victim syndrome come from and what to do about it?

The reason for the emergence of victim syndrome lies in upbringing, personal characteristics, life situation, decisions made in childhood and stereotypical behavior determined by the life scenario.

For example, the feeling of being a victim can become entrenched when a child was punished in childhood for something that he could not yet control due to his age (he got dirty when he ate, recently picked up a spoon, soiled the sofa, starting to crawl). A child who is scolded feels guilty for what he has done, even without being familiar with this feeling in terms of understanding. He feels “not good” and “wrong.” There is a pronounced feeling of fear of being rejected, abandoned, being left alone and not surviving.

It is this feeling deep inside that guides the behavior and self-perception of a person with the position of a victim.

Assault, sexual abuse, placing excessive responsibility on the child for what is happening in the family, too high demands and punishment for mistakes are also possible causes of the victim’s life scenario.

For example, when in a family where the father is an alcoholic and the mother is depressed and passive and feels like a victim, the daughter can take responsibility for the condition of both parents, supporting the mother and “raising” the father. In the future, the girl may repeat her mother’s scenario and take on the role of the victim.

Over time, already in adulthood, finding himself in situations that confirm his “badness,” a person reinforces his position and does not realize his contribution to what is happening.

How to help someone with a victim mentality

It can be frustrating to try to help someone with a victim mentality because they don't take responsibility for their life and seem to blame everyone else. However, this is only because there is a lot going on below the surface.

Here are some ways you can help:

Show empathy and acknowledge that they have faced painful events in the past.
Don't call them a victim as this will only make the situation worse.
Identify specific unhelpful behaviors such as blame-shifting, complaining, and denying responsibility.
Let them talk and share their feelings.
Don't apologize if you don't feel guilty about the situation.
Set boundaries and don't let them invade your personal space.
Offer to help find solutions, but don't try to protect them from bad outcomes.
Help them think about goals or ways to change their lives.
Ask lots of questions to explore and get them thinking (For example, what are you good at? What have you been good at in the past?)
Validate their feelings rather than dismiss them.
Encourage them to talk to a therapist if they have trauma that has not been addressed in the past.
Prepare for the conversation and don't let bad dynamics get carried away.
Don't attack them and be gentle, let them grow with your support.

How to recognize yourself as a victim and stop being one

Shifting responsibility
The position of a victim is the position of a person who suffers from the manifestations of other people or external factors. Such a person believes that everyone is to blame except him (people, events, environmental influences). It’s as if he himself doesn’t decide anything and is unable to change anything, because “the circumstances are higher,” “the country is not the same,” “the times are not the same,” “the boss is a fool,” “the husband is a tyrant,” etc. As if everything that happens in his life does not depend on him, he is simply a helpless victim of circumstances, and not the author of his fate. He transfers all responsibility for his own life to someone else - relatively speaking, the pursuer, makes him the leader, and he completely influences the whole situation.

Unspoken aggression

The victim rarely expresses anger, although there is a lot of it inside. Most often, such a person simply does not realize this and suppresses or shows such emotions in a passive way - through resentment, with the help of which he manipulates others.

Resentment

The main feeling of a person with the psychology of a victim. If he doesn’t like something, he doesn’t say it directly, but buries his feelings as deeply as possible, giving them the opportunity to strengthen. After which one insult is layered on top of another, and he continues to revel in them until he reaches the boiling point and explodes with indignation: “How long can you do this to me?!” Offense for the victim is nothing more than a method of passive attack. By being offended, one person gives the other a message that he is to blame. At the same time, strong fear prevents you from expressing dissatisfaction right away, without waiting for passions to heat up.

Fear

This is the background state of the victim. 90% of emotional resources are spent on anxious anticipation of some kind of threat (real or imaginary) and thinking through ways to avoid possible problems. Moreover, it is not clear what exactly I want, what scares me. Fear of starting something and fear of finishing something. If I do, it will be bad. If I don’t do it, it will be bad too.

Shame

Another companion to the sacrificial position. He supports the idea of inferiority. “I am ashamed because I depend on the opinions of other people, evaluate myself through their eyes and always find numerous flaws in myself.”

One of the most extreme manifestations of victim syndrome is Stockholm syndrome, which in psychology refers to the phenomenon when victims take the side of their tormentors and even develop sympathy for them. In 1973, in Stockholm, two terrorists took four people hostage in a bank. After the people were released, they began to justify the invaders, saying that they were not afraid of terrorists, but of the police. They prevented the police from releasing them, asked for amnesty, visited criminals in prison, and one of the women even divorced her husband in order to maintain love and fidelity to the one who held her hostage for five days and threatened her with death. A similar phenomenon often occurs in everyday life, when in dominant family relationships one of the partners “takes hostage” the other, and the other becomes imbued with more and more sympathy for him.

Desire to meet others' expectations

The victim constantly seeks approval from the outside, tries to please everyone and satisfy everyone, since he focuses not on himself, but on others. She depends on other people's assessments and often strives to please everyone, never refuses anyone and does a lot to the detriment of her own interests. Such altruism does not bring joy to the victim, but adds self-pity.

Constant feeling of guilt

The victim always asks for forgiveness for everything and says “sorry” even when someone stepped on her foot. Considering herself worthless and flawed, she takes the blame in advance for everything bad that happens around her. Guilt poisons her from the inside. In fact, this is a form of irresponsibility, because instead of doing something to correct the current situation, the victim spends energy on self-flagellation.

Gluttony for support

The victim’s attitude is “I’m poor and unhappy, no one will ever help me.” Such a person asks and even demands help from others, but will not use it: if you accept help, the usual attitude will simply collapse. The victim chooses to be helpless. Pity is more readily accepted - it further supports the position of the victim, which one does not want to part with.

Fixation on the feeling of hopelessness

One of my favorite pastimes is to provoke suffering in myself. For example, returning to painful memories, focusing all attention on pain, on trauma. The victim must constantly maintain the image of an unhappy person, fuel a state of depression and despondency.

Involvement in codependent relationships

A person with this position will always strive to enter into relationships in which there are three roles: victim, rescuer and persecutor (Karpman triangle). The basis of this triangle is sacrifice. It is she who organizes two assistants for herself using the carrot and stick method: the aggressor pursues the victim, the latter looks for a rescuer who takes pity on her and allows her to temporarily become the aggressor. At the same time, the organizer of such a triangle will place the blame on everyone - both the rescuer and the aggressor. Because one saves badly, the other punishes. A person with a sacrificial position destroys normal human relationships around him, subordinating those around him to his neurosis.

If you feel like a victim (of circumstances, another person, etc.), then immediately ask yourself a few questions:
What depends on me in this situation?
Did I really do my best?
Am I being honest with myself when I try to blame others?
How can I fix this situation myself?

It is so difficult to get out of the role of a victim, because it gives many bonuses - support, attention and pity of others, lack of obligations, because there is less demand from the victim. The only way to destroy the system is to create your own resourceful self. This process is not quick, since we are talking about creating new neural connections: attitudes that it is I who experience feelings, and not feelings that control me. It is me who focuses on fear, pain, hurt, shame and sadness. It is my choice. And that means my responsibility.

Here you can ask a psychologist a question.

Photo: Unsplash.com

What to say to a person with a victim mentality

Below are some phrases you can use:

“I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm here to talk."
“I have about an hour to talk if you want to try and figure this out.”
“I can’t solve this problem for you, but I’m here to help you solve it.”
“I care about you, but we seem to be rehashing the same thing over and over again. Can we come back to this later?"

Is it possible to overcome the syndrome?

To help a friend or colleague with victim syndrome, you should develop behavioral tactics. You cannot show pity or agree with the words of the victim. You need to let the interlocutor speak out, ask questions that contain specifics regarding his condition. Such behavior will help the individual look at the world more realistically, begin to think, and feel his own responsibility. However, it is possible that a turn of events will occur that the victim will begin to avoid conversation and will find a “vest” with which to cry and get support.

A person tries on many roles. The role of the victim is the complete opposite of a happy person who has achieved certain heights, does not give up, and is able to soberly assess the situation. A happy person is the creator of his own life. To become happy, you need to realize the presence of the syndrome and want to get rid of it. This will take a lot of effort.

Reasons for maintaining a victim mentality

Why maintain a victim mentality if it makes you feel bad? The truth is that a victim mentality can bring many secondary benefits.

Below are some of the reasons why deep down you don't want to change.

This allows you not to take responsibility for your life.
People will try to help you and solve your problems for you.
You may be addicted to drama in your life.
You may prefer to avoid anger and instead find it easier to feel upset or sad.
Constant sacrifice makes you feel valued by others.
It has become a coping mechanism or a habit that cannot be unlearned.
You are afraid of facing the anger, shame, fear, or sadness that is at the root of your victim mindset.
It got you through some really tough times and now it's just a habit.
If people think you're struggling, they won't criticize you.
Helps avoid conflicts with others.
You are more likely to get what you want in situations.
Less is expected of you if everyone knows you're struggling.
People won't burden you with their problems if you already have many of your own.
You influence people when you play the victim.
It makes others care about you.

What are the benefits of being depressed?

The main benefit of the victim syndrome is that by his behavior a person evokes the pity and compassion of others , shifts the solution of his problems to them, makes his life easier to some extent, and can receive material and psychological support.

People with this behavioral disorder are practically constantly in their comfort zone, but in the eyes of relatives and friends they look like an offended victim.