Why a wife is not jealous of her husband: reasons for the lack of jealousy, ways to cause

Treat other men with indifference

Your man should be one hundred percent sure that he is number 1 for you.
This means you should not indulge in flirtatious behavior with the opposite sex in his presence. Just think, what would it be like for you if your partner began to actively flirt with a beautiful, long-legged young lady? Or admire not you, but your friend? When a loved one is nearby, there should be no one more interesting and attractive than himself! Give him maximum of your attention and smiles, try not to react too actively to compliments from the opposite sex. Free behavior can be allowed in the circle of friends, but not in the company of your husband, this should become your rule! Surround your man with love and very soon you will see pleasant changes in his behavior. Good luck!

Why is your husband or boyfriend not jealous at all?

There are girls who would give a lot not to have to endure ridiculous suspicions from their significant other. Since women are very emotional, they experience jealous attacks out of nowhere. But there are ladies who, on the contrary, provoke men by flirting with the opposite sex. These girls want to get the heat of passion, but often see absolutely no reaction. Why is this happening? Doesn't this mean that the guy doesn't love his girlfriend?

In fact, men are not jealous of their significant other in the following situations.

They trust her as themselves. These guys don’t even take her flirting games seriously. If the relationship has gone through thick and thin, then there is no point in inventing problems for yourself that were just pulled out of thin air.
They do not need confirmation of their importance. Successful men are almost never jealous of their girlfriend or wife. They understand that their woman simply does not make sense to look for someone on the side. After all, finding a replacement for them will not be easy.
They love their soulmate so boundlessly that they will forgive her any prank, and perhaps even betrayal. Such guys will turn a blind eye to everything, as long as this girl remains paired with them.
They don't consider cheating something terrible. Lovers of open relationships will not be offended if their girlfriend goes to the left once or twice. These guys themselves can commit a similar act without feeling remorse.

Reasons for indifference

If you want to understand why your beloved guy is not jealous, you should understand the main reasons for his indifference:

lack of sympathy and feelings;
complete trust in your partner;
a high self-evaluation;
lack of reason for jealousy;
confidence in the fidelity of a girl or wife.

If a man is not jealous at all, this does not mean that he doesn’t care. There are many happy families who do not experience this unpleasant feeling. It is foolish to think that they treat each other with indifference. Their relationship has been tested for years, and the level of jealousy, mistrust and suspicion is a completely different matter.

READ How to test a guy's fidelity: the most effective ways

Having been married for more than 5 years, spouses gradually forget that they can suspect their partner of something. They get used to the relationship, the thought that the other half might leave does not even arise in their minds.

Before making certain decisions and drawing conclusions, it is worth understanding the reasons for indifference, talking with your spouse and finding out why this feeling is not present in your relationship.

Friendly jealousy

And life goes on as usual. You grow up, go to school, graduate from college, work. And your constant friend - jealousy - does not leave you for a minute. You will make new acquaintances, join the company, communicate with work colleagues. And she, in turn, will quietly strengthen her position.

Have you found a best friend or boyfriend? Great! It couldn't have been better! This is an unplowed field for jealousy. And you can already hear her whisper: “Look! She hasn't called you for two days now. Surely she is busy with those with whom she is interested in communicating. Would you like to call and tell me what you think about this traitor?” Needless to say, as soon as you begin to give in to such impulses, your entire friendship will crumble brick by brick.

How does such jealousy manifest itself? When you go to a cafe with a friend, you are ready to discuss only the two of you. People who call her on her mobile phone at this time are literally causing you physical pain. You get mad if your friend doesn't answer your call or, worse, refuses to go out with you.

What does jealousy mean?

Jealousy is the desire for undivided dominance over a desired object or subject. For some people, this is a sign of feelings; for others, it is a manifestation of uncertainty about their own worth.

Jealousy, although it can shake up a relationship for a while, carries with it negativity. Often, like an ax, it cuts all the threads that connect people spiritually. Accompanied by anger, fear, helplessness.

Jealousy is closely related to the concept of competition. It can manifest itself against the backdrop of competition. It happens the other way around, when competitors are constantly seen against its background. This feeling often arises if a person experiences a lack of affection and attention from people significant to him. But when it arises constantly, then we can talk about such a character trait as jealousy. These negative emotions not only do not indicate the presence of love in relationships, they hinder their development and strengthening.

Distrust in relation to another person arises as a result of some of his actions. It is often compared with jealousy. These are concepts that are close in emotions and meanings. But it is difficult to say that they mean the same thing. Mistrust can breed jealousy. A person is often initially inclined to be suspicious of people. This problem needs to be solved within yourself.

Types of male jealousy

Jealousy is an emotion. It can be different and depends on the character and temperament of a person, his life experience and personal characteristics. For example, the fact that a man is experiencing strong feelings in his soul, those around him may not even guess or suspect what passions are boiling in a man, since he keeps them within himself. And there are jealous husbands who experience superficial emotions, but do not know how to restrain them and torment everyone around them with them. Therefore, when we talk about jealousy, we most often mean the degree of its manifestation.

Lightweight

There is a popular wisdom: “to be jealous means to love.” Many women believe her and often complain that their husbands do not show their possessive tendencies. In the hope of “stirring up” her partner, a lady at a party, in front of her beloved, dances a slow dance with an unknown gentleman or comes home with a bouquet of flowers. But the husband didn’t even frown and remained as calm and good-natured as usual. Of course, a woman would not cheat on her spouse or truly flirt with another man, she just wants to cause a little jealousy in order to feel loved and desired.

Unobtrusive jealousy is pleasant for most ladies. She is proof that a man loves his soulmate, appreciates her, takes care of her and is afraid of losing her.

Unfortunately, not all jealous husbands are ready to listen to the voice of reason and be aware of the groundlessness of their worries. And here it is often not the feeling of ownership that comes to the fore, but the fear of deception and betrayal. A man is under the weight of constant worries and suspicions and, under their influence, begins to harass his wife with total control: he listens in on phone conversations, reads SMS, does not allow him to communicate with friends, and constantly calls to check his location. Moreover, in public, the husband can be affable and friendly, and only the wife will know what a nervous, suspicious and uncontrollable person he is.

Living with a jealous husband is difficult. The woman begins to fear that she might do something wrong and provoke attacks on herself. You have to control your actions, words, gestures and even looks, just to avoid scenes of jealousy and scandals

In order to preserve the family, the wife moves away from her friends and relatives, stops taking care of herself and does everything possible to attract as little attention as possible from the opposite sex. This plays into the hands of the spouse; he is pleased that his beloved has turned into an ugly woman and leads a semi-reclusive lifestyle, which he completely controls

At the same time, he himself may not limit himself in communicating with other women.

If you have a pathologically jealous husband, only a psychologist can help correct the situation, because a man in such a state cannot curb his feelings and control his actions. He sees betrayal in any action and is capable of not only morally, but also physically dealing with his wife

And here it doesn’t matter whether the wife resists attacks and aggression or humbly endures, the husband will still not stop the bullying

It is difficult to say why women live with such partners and forgive them everything. Perhaps they do not dare to take responsibility for their own destiny, they are afraid of loneliness or loss of material wealth. The criminal chronicle is replete with crimes motivated by jealousy, the victims of which are women. Their life cannot be envied; it is akin to a minefield: you never know where danger awaits.

What is jealousy and its psychology

Almost everyone is familiar with this feeling, and yet its essence is difficult to describe in words. It is a cocktail of fear, pain, mistrust, feelings of inferiority, neglect, envy, suspicion, guilt and anger, even hatred.

A storm of emotions covers when, on the one hand, there is a feeling of insufficient love, on the other hand, the person from whom this love is expected openly or covertly prefers someone else.

Jealousy has a scientific explanation - and more than one. From an evolutionary perspective, for our male ancestors, the worst form of infidelity was sexual infidelity, which can undermine a man's belief that he is the biological father of his offspring. First of all, a man must be convinced that he is taking care of his seed. As for women, they need a husband and a father for their children, who should bring food, hunt and protect - and if possible, not only for nine months.

The psychoanalytic explanation of jealousy lies in Sigmund Freud's classification. According to his definition, jealousy is a normal feeling, like sadness, that everyone carries with them from an early age. A person becomes jealous when someone takes away or wants to take away from him what he loves.

In fact, psychologists distinguish between different types of jealousy, identifying 3 forms. Probably the most common form is reactive, as a response to a real event, for example, a partner flirting with another woman.

Suspicious and fearful jealousy makes one suspect betrayal, regardless of whether there are reasons for this or not. Possessive jealousy forces a person to lay claim to complete possession.

Out loud and frankly

When mistrust intensifies and does not allow a woman to live a normal life, one cannot procrastinate and put off solving the problem. Jealousy is the antithesis of family happiness, so it needs to be eradicated before it completely destroys the family. In order not to accumulate complaints and deal once and for all with the depressing feeling, you should not hush it up. You need to talk to your spouse about every detail that you are not happy with in the relationship and constructively discuss possible solutions to the problem.

For a serious conversation, you need to choose the most favorable time. There is no need to blindside a man with interrogations if he is not prepared

It is also important to create an atmosphere conducive to frankness. A conversation in a calm atmosphere without shouting, reproaches and ridicule will be more productive than a mutual exchange of complaints

It is important not only to express your feelings and suspicions to your husband, but also to listen to him. Such a frank conversation will bring husband and wife closer, help identify weaknesses in the marriage and find ways to make it better

This is also a chance to deal with destructive jealousy once and for all.

Mild jealousy on the part of two partners has a positive effect on the relationship. If it does not stimulate, but, on the contrary, oppresses, extinguishes the fire of love, it must be eradicated by any available methods.

How to evoke feelings in your loved one

Lack of jealousy on the part of a woman in a healthy relationship based on love, respect, honesty and sincerity is not a problem. This is fine. The phenomenon in question is alien to developed, self-sufficient people. They see the causes of all phenomena in themselves. Problems are solved by development, improvement of personality and relationships.

For a partner, the problem becomes a situation in which he is accustomed to outbursts of jealousy, and at one point they stop. What should a man do in such a situation? It all depends on a number of factors:

reasons that were previously a source of female anxiety;
the nature and characteristics of the relationship in a couple;
psychological and personal characteristics of partners.

Recommendations for a man’s behavior if a woman has stopped being jealous should be applied, taking into account the seriousness of the relationship and the degree of intimacy in the couple.

Analysis of your behavior. If jealousy was typical before, you need to determine the reasons that provoked its manifestation. When identifying the objective reasons for your partner’s jealousy, you should reconsider your behavior - stop deceiving, flirting, and showing excessive attention to other girls. Assessing the evolution of a partner’s behavior in a relationship

It is important to determine the moment when the usual behavior stopped. It is worth finding out what factors influenced the changes in the girl’s behavior. Observation and analysis of the girl's behavior. We need to try to determine the reasons for the change in her behavior. Sincere conversation

With an open and trusting relationship, you can talk to the girl and find out what influenced the change in attitude. Building a line of behavior. After assessing the situation and analyzing behavior, adjust the relationship and change its character.

It is worth understanding that the absence of jealousy is not a problem. In a healthy and fulfilling relationship, this feeling should not exist in a couple. It’s good if jealousy has stopped due to the development of the girl’s personality and the improvement in the quality of relationships between partners. Another positive sign of disappearance or lack of reasons on the part of the man.

How to deal with jealousy as a man

A man experiences jealousy differently than a woman. Research has shown that men are more jealous of particularly attractive women.

It's also interesting that men are more likely to project their negative feelings onto women rather than other competitors. Men are much more sensitive to their partner's behavior when she changes her clothing style, gets bored during sex, or doesn't feel any desire at all.

Men deal with jealousy differently than women. A popular model can be called “actions out of spite”: flirting, romance, affair in response to one’s suspicions regarding the other half.

“Get what you deserve!” They may react with harsh and hurtful remarks. Or, on the contrary, demonstrate feigned indifference to his partner, despite the fact that everything is boiling inside him, like a volcano before an explosion.

To get rid of jealousy, a man must first identify its cause (low self-esteem, possessiveness, poor judgment), process it and apply common sense.

Then think about finding a joint hobby. This could be training, cycling, or a general blog, where she cooks and invents different dishes, and he maintains a portal and posts photographs. You may have to change your hobby more than once, looking for something that suits both.

Reasons why a man becomes jealous

Jealousy destroys relationships and can even eventually cause separation. After all, the foundation of any strong family is trust. Mutual and uncompromising. To understand what became the stumbling block, it is necessary to evaluate the situation from the outside.

Often the fault lies not only with the girl, but also with the man himself. And then it turns out that ostentatious jealousy is just a cover. But in general, the reasons for anxiety, mistrust, surveillance and aggressive attacks by a guy towards his girlfriend can be different:

Showing a sense of ownership. This is the most harmless of all options, which can be regulated by the complete exclusion of provocations. Show him in every possible way how dear he is, and the other guys are indifferent. Always answer his calls and don't stay late at work.
Alcohol intoxication. Revives the spirit of competition in a man. He begins to invent something that actually does not exist and accuse his beloved of flirting with males. A jealous person wants to fight with an opponent, demonstrating to him his superiority.
The man is unsure of himself. He has complexes for some reason. Jealousy is a manifestation of his fears that one of the guys will be better than him. And he takes the risk of stealing someone else's girl.
He follows the principle: “The best defense is attack.” Because he secretly cheats on his chosen one. By systematically accusing her of infidelity, the malicious traitor feels himself undercover. She definitely won’t suspect him, since he loves her so much and is afraid of losing her.
The man has an oriental temperament. Jealousy is in his blood. All his relatives lived in an atmosphere of scandals and suspicions of each other. Therefore, it is advisable to get to know the parents and traditions of the guy’s family before the wedding, so as not to regret the “sultry” marriage in the future.

You can’t be happy that your partner is suffering. And even more so to speculate on this. Jealousy is the red light of any relationship. As soon as its light turns green, family life will definitely improve

It is important to find this switch by understanding the problem at the negotiating table

Why do we need jealousy?

Jealousy is characteristic of every person: evolutionarily, it was established as a necessary reaction because it helped us survive. First, pain or sadness prevents you from acting quickly and accurately. Jealousy helps you overcome this, feel threatened and try to quickly solve the problem. Secondly, jealousy is part of the rivalry that man has faced for most of his historical existence. It helped compete for a sexual partner and other important and limited resources.

Features of competition influenced the fact that female and male jealousy are different. The evolutionary meaning of male jealousy is to protect oneself from raising someone else’s offspring, which was a frequent occurrence in polygamy. Since the male could not be 100% sure that he was spending energy on raising his own cubs, jealousy began to manifest itself more strongly in relation to sexual betrayal.

For women, the situation is different: females tried to make sure that the partner spent all possible resources only on her and her offspring. These resources should not have been given to others because this was the key to survival. Therefore, female jealousy is stronger in relation to emotional betrayal, when the partner pays more attention to the other woman.

Private practice psychologist Veronika Pivkina explains: “In psychology, not a single feeling is considered unimportant, even anger, sadness and jealousy are needed for something. They help us, but some of their manifestations may be socially unacceptable: in such cases, people may consider themselves bad because of it.”

Jealousy helps us maintain a couple, since we have always strived to leave more offspring. Culture and society offer us completely different norms of behavior and values. In addition, jealousy can be looked at as a point for development: the manifestation of negatively colored emotions demonstrates our weaknesses. For example, one woman is jealous of her partner for another woman because she is thinner. This happens due to internal complexes, and to solve the problem, you first need to work on yourself.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Jealousy is inherent in everyone, and it is normal to feel it. This feeling is ingrained in us for the sake of survival, since for most of our history we have had to fight for survival. Now a woman is able to raise a child on her own, and there is no need for jealousy for the sake of survival. Keeping your partner, no matter what, is no longer necessary; it is more important to build a comfortable and healthy relationship. Jealousy should be accepted, but not allowed to take control of you: strong and aggressive outbursts of jealousy destroy relationships and harm everyone.

How to behave as a wife

If a husband is jealous for no reason, then this greatly complicates the life of any girl. She has to constantly monitor her behavior, put up with her husband’s irritability, and also be subject to unfounded accusations and reproaches. Therefore, such a specific psychological state can only be overcome through joint efforts. To do this, the girl herself must behave more carefully and attentively. A man who is experiencing unpleasant feelings should calm down, talk to a psychologist or reconsider his vision of the world.

Women who suffer from a jealous husband can use several effective tips.

Don't give a reason. In order for a guy to calm down and believe in his wife’s fidelity, he simply should not have any excuses for jealousy. He is obliged to know where his wife is at one time or another. You cannot turn off your phone, flirt with friends, or wear provocative clothes. React calmly to jealousy. In psychology, a man’s suspicion is a normal state at the level of instincts, so there is no need to react violently to his dissatisfaction and irritability. You just need to explain where the woman was during the day, with whom she talked and how she dressed.

Therefore, to maintain a good relationship, you should learn to restrain your emotions. Pay attention to the guy. If a man has become overly jealous, this may be a consequence of the fact that the spouses have stopped communicating a lot

This is often due to significant work commitments. Therefore, a girl should set aside a lot of time to spend with her lover. During the day, you should constantly call or send SMS messages, as well as send photos. The husband will be able to make sure that he is truly important to his chosen one. Talk about feelings constantly. Over time, any relationship cools, which often becomes the reason for suspicion on the part of the husband. Therefore, maintain an optimal connection by constantly communicating love and warmth. Don't tell your spouse about meetings with other men or colleagues at work. It’s better to talk about plans for the future, travel or joint hobbies. Show indifference to others. If spouses travel together, go to a restaurant or just walk, then the girl should demonstrate a complete lack of interest in other representatives of the stronger sex. Don't give reasons for anxiety and jealousy. It is advisable to focus all attention on your significant other. Dress modestly. If a wife goes to work or to meet a friend, then she should choose closed and decent clothes. Psychologists recommend choosing a tight and provocative outfit only during a date with your husband. Spend a lot of time together. A woman should share her husband’s preferences and hobbies. It is recommended to devote most of your free time to joint activities so that the guy sees interest on the part of his wife. Don't talk about your former relationship. To avoid causing jealousy, it is recommended to avoid talking about past romances. Every man wants to feel unique and significant, so if a girl remembers her ex-boyfriends, this will negatively affect her partner’s self-esteem and mood.

How to deal with a man’s jealousy, his attacks of unreasonable jealousy

Just have a heart-to-heart talk. Explain that his jealousy can lead to a break in the relationship. But talk correctly - as with the man you love, and not with the one to whom you “gave the best years of your life.”
Ignore any manifestations of jealousy. If possible.
Endure it. Wait until your partner gets over his jealousy, understands that you are not going anywhere, and calms down. It is quite possible that he will calm down only when grandchildren appear, but if he does not yet install hidden cameras in your bedroom, then it is worth a try.
Don't give reasons. Dress more modestly, do not flirt with men, do not put on makeup before work as if you were about to go on the podium.
Knock out a wedge with a wedge. Shoot from the same “weapon” - torture him with jealousy so that he howls and can look at himself from the outside.
Write a letter. If conversation doesn’t work out, then take a sheet of paper and splash everything that’s boiling in your soul on this sheet. And put it in his pocket. Let him read and think. If he ignores your mental turmoil, grins and continues in the same spirit, then it’s probably time to think about the meaning of such a relationship.
Look at yourself from the outside - is his jealousy really bothering you? Maybe he is really afraid of losing you?

Of course, jealous people (and their women) cannot be envied. This feeling brings unhappiness to both partners, who are forced to live in constant anxiety. An atmosphere of misunderstanding, suspicion and mistrust is not good for family relationships. As a rule, such relationships are doomed to break up.

How to learn not to be jealous and how does this relate to freedom?

It is here, at the point where a person encounters jealousy, that a revision of ideas about freedom occurs. Essentially, in short, the answer to the question “how to learn not to be jealous?” - reconsider the level of personal freedom, responsibility and grow up. But this is easier said than done.

Child-parent relationships have a completely different degree of freedom than adults. A parent is bound by the responsibility to provide, at a minimum, the basic needs necessary for the survival of the child.

A child is dependent on the parent and has the right to demand his own survival, but at the same time, in many respects must obey the rules that exist in the parental family, and rarely has a serious say in a number of vital decisions.

Adult relationships presuppose a different degree of freedom: everyone is free to manage their own lives, no one is the property of another, no one can be tied to another except by their own choice, and has the right to leave the relationship at any time. Now I’m not talking about responsibility for common children, which in any case cannot and should not “evaporate” along with the relationship. But stopping living with your partner/spouse is a right every adult has, even by law.

However, jealous people often treat their partner as property. And this is only possible in a child-parent relationship, because the child partly “belongs” to the parents due to the fact of their responsibility, and the parents “belong” to the child as those who must provide him with the benefits of life for a certain time.

A jealous person tries to create a relationship in which he can get rid of anxiety and fear of loss, and he considers such relationships to be connected not by free choice, but by duty and compulsion. He is ready to “pay” various victims for guarantees that the partner will be “appropriated” and “will not go anywhere.”

And from this perspective, scandals, demands, nagging, and even surveillance and strict control may seem quite “normal” to a jealous person. Thus, a jealous person tries to provide himself with a guarantee of a constant flow of benefits from his partner. It is difficult for him to think about freedom: sometimes he himself does not particularly need it or does not even imagine that it could be somehow different, continuing to perceive himself unconsciously as a child.

Read about how to cope with infantilism in the article “Infantile Man: You Can’t Be Childish in Growing Up.”

How to learn not to be jealous? One thing you have to learn is that your adult partner is not your property. And he may well not want to adopt you, taking the position of a parent and allowing you to be in the position of a child.

How to learn not to be jealous?

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“Why is a person jealous? Jealousy and immaturity"

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“Why is a person jealous? Jealousy and immaturity"

How to stop your husband being jealous of his ex-wife

Women who are married to divorced men often turn to psychologists. “Help, I’m jealous of my legal husband for his ex-wife,” “I can’t come to terms with the fact that my husband communicates with his ex-wife,” such complaints are not unique, and jealousy in this case is completely justified. But a woman and a man cannot be satisfied with such a situation, because harmony cannot be achieved in a relationship without trust. You need to deal with jealousy towards your ex-partners and spouse's wives in stages.

First steps

If distrust of your spouse haunts you, you need to start eradicating it. Here's how to overcome jealousy towards a faithful husband:

bring him into conversation, ask for help;
start looking for reasons and eliminating them;
work on improving self-esteem;
pay more attention to the quality and depth of communication;
develop the ability to trust.

Getting rid of jealousy towards his ex-wife

A woman should answer herself this question: “Am I jealous of my ex-wife or am I afraid that the same situation will happen to me.” It is especially difficult to trust a man if you began an affair with him even before he got divorced

But it is important to understand that past and current relationships are completely different. If in a previous marriage a man was not happy and met a new love with whom he builds a harmonious relationship, this does not mean that he will continue to cheat

If you don’t deal with jealousy towards your husband, then the marriage can really fall apart. There is no need to bring the relationship to a critical state. Here's how you can stop being jealous of your husband and his ex-wife for no reason:

To realize that a man has not only bad but also good memories associated with his past marriage, he has the right to do so.
Start to appreciate the fact that he takes care of his children from a previous marriage, and support him in this.
Stop obsessive thoughts and distract yourself from them.
Work on self-esteem.
Use critical thinking to block your imagination’s attempts to paint gloomy pictures.
Do not hush up your experiences, discuss them with your husband and seek his support.

Jealousy of an ex-wife, as a rule, accompanies the initial stage of a relationship. This is not a deviation from the norm; over time, spouses will be able to trust each other more, and relationships with former partners will not become a reason for the emergence of depressing emotions.

Eliminating the irritant

There is no point in returning every day to the factor that provokes jealousy. If the spouse wants to get rid of this destructive feeling, it is worth parting with the provoking factors. It will be difficult to trust your husband and never be jealous of him if you continue to look for clues and reasons. You need to avoid contact with the irritant:

Man is a free being; he ties himself into relationships not under duress. Having taken control of social networks, phones, contacts with colleagues, a woman will not be able to keep her husband. If he really fell in love or had an affair, all attempts to control him will not be successful. Even if caught red-handed, a man is unlikely to immediately begin to repent of his vicious relationship and promise to improve. This does not mean that he is necessarily cheating. No, this means that there is no point in controlling him.

There is no jealousy in a relationship - indifference or trust?

I woke up in the morning, out of habit, picked up my phone and went to Instagram. The first thing I came across was a friend’s post about how her husband’s jealousy reaches “Othellian” syndrome. Jealousy - what is it? Jealousy is a lack of self-confidence, fear of losing a loved one and a person’s character. Often jealous people do not change until the end of their days.

Stopping jealousy at the beginning of a relationship
When I first started dating my future husband, I said in the very first days that a jealous man is not my man. I can't stand jealousy even in minimal doses. We worked together and before we started dating, we were friends. Here I want to note that there is no friendship between a guy and a girl. One of them is secretly in love anyway. But my friend (future husband) did not hide his feelings from the very beginning, but I did not trust him. I was suspicious of everyone.

No jealousy! Yes, trust!

Since my boyfriend was naturally jealous, he found another way out. He called and asked where I was, I answered. He calmly hangs up. I always told the truth, because one lie gives rise to a hundred lies. These calls have become more frequent:

- Where are you?

- I’m with a friend... in the park... for work, “there”...

It turns out that he installed an application on his phone where, by indicating my number, he could monitor me online, 24 hours a day. The program provided data on the subscriber's location. But he couldn't stop there. He didn't show it to me. He walked me to the door, and then spent the night in the car, near my house. He didn't sleep and watched over me. In the morning I go to work, and he sits in the car with SpongeBob eyes. I saw that he was jealous, but he couldn’t say it. I gave an ultimatum, and by that time he already knew my character perfectly well.

I was always honest with him and believed that relationships should be built solely on the basis of sincerity. One day I decided to talk to him frankly, tell each other everything and about everything, and only then build a relationship. I said that being jealous, he hurts me, in some places insults and offends me, and even if he were not dear to me, I would not waste my time on him. Yes, I am that kind of person. It’s better to be sincere and serious, or nothing at all. He spoke his mind. At work, several young men looked after me at once, but I politely “omoego”, and my beloved saw their merits. He assessed them from a male point of view and by the successes achieved. But I fell in love with him, and not his position and appearance. It was important to me that I could trust him, he was caring and responsive. That’s how we decided to trust each other, and if jealousy appears, to understand the reason for its occurrence, have a heart-to-heart talk and eliminate it.

Jealousy drove me towards him

By that time, I had already rejected his proposal of the heart more than once. But one day I noticed that my colleague began to look at him, and my girlfriends began to tell me that I was missing him. Such anger awoke inside me, a sense of ownership, probably this is jealousy. In the evening, as usual, he was waiting for me to take me home after work. We arrived in my yard, and I offered to sit and have a heart-to-heart talk. We talked all night, and he behaved well, didn’t even lay a finger on me. That's how I liked him and grew in my eyes. That morning we agreed on our first date.

Relationships without jealousy are happiness

We have been married for 6 years now. We are not jealous of each other. To be able to understand your soul mate and give him free space is a heroic act. Now we live, each happy with our own space and at the same time united. A person gets tired of pressure and therefore sometimes you just need to take a break from each other and for this you don’t have to go somewhere, it’s enough to stop controlling each other. My husband and I are similar in many ways, this allows us to understand each other. Recently I told him that we are so used to each other that it’s getting boring. I joked and waited for his reaction, and he began calling every hour with the words: “what am I doing?”, “where am I?”, “who am I with?” I realized that the main thing in a relationship is trust. Jealousy destroys many things, sometimes even the strongest love.

Finally about jealousy

My dad is the number one jealous person. He is still jealous of his mother. He was so jealous that his mother was a housewife for 25 years. And when my sister and I got married, mom had to stay at home alone, and dad, out of jealousy, got her a job. Now they are working together. I grew up in such an atmosphere and therefore avoided jealous people. I programmed myself to live freely. I hate jealousy because I know that a jealous man is capable of limiting his woman in many or even everything.

Not to work, not to realize myself, not to fulfill my dreams - I wouldn’t be able to live like that. But thanks to my father’s jealousy in my family, I removed the place of jealousy and replaced it with trust. A jealous person does not change; he can only soften for a while if everything suits him. So educate your husband from the beginning, and if he is still jealous, you can always talk, identify the reason and correct the situation.

A woman creates peace in the family. I wish everyone mutual understanding and no jealousy.

How is male jealousy different from female jealousy?

The jealousy of men and women is different. Representatives of the stronger sex are jealous of their significant other for everything: work, friends, children, other men

This could be anything that distracts his partner's attention from him.

The negative feeling is especially aggravated if there has been betrayal on the part of a loved one in the past. The man is not interested in why this happened. He simply states a fact and blames the woman. She would blame herself in such a situation.

If jealousy manifests itself strongly and often, then this is a sign of serious problems. They concern not only the internal state of the jealous person, but also relationships. Male jealousy has several types:

arising from owners - a young man believes that a woman should belong only to him, often he does not know how to respect the personality of another;
manifested from disadvantage - characteristic of people who are not confident in themselves, have an anxious, suspicious character;
reflected is the so-called projection of one’s own infidelity onto the relationship.

The psychology of male jealousy lies in the fact that representatives of the stronger sex are afraid of physical betrayal, while women are afraid of spiritual betrayal. Jealous men more often appeal to facts, while representatives of the fairer sex rely on intuition.

Men are also more prone to illusory suspicion. Not only a man who is now with a woman, but also a former partner can be jealous.

Love and jealousy have different paths

What did we not see on the list of reasons that cause jealousy? Love!

Jealousy does not stem from love. The basis of jealousy is the fear of losing what you love.

Remember, this pathological feeling grows from lack of confidence in yourself and your relationship with your partner. Be it a friend, a child, anyone.

Also, doubts that your partner loves you play into the hands of a woman’s jealousy. What if he chooses someone else who is better than you? After all, you doubt that you are WORTHY.

What should a man do?

The key point in the fight against jealousy is for partners to understand the essence of this phenomenon. If a man understands the nature of worry, he will know its harm. Jealousy will disappear if the guy understands that the problem is with him.

A man who is jealous should direct his strength and energy to other activities.

Self-development.
Maintaining good physical shape.
Respect your partner's personal space. Giving up control.
Finding new interests, deepening your knowledge.
Increasing literacy in the problems of building relationships and interacting with the opposite sex.

Ways to avoid developing male jealousy:

building open and trusting relationships;
sincere respect for the partner;
avoidance or prompt resolution of controversial emotional states;
refusal to ignore any negative emotional manifestations;
discussing all situations that relate to relationships, searching for compromises.

It is worth understanding that the presence of the condition in question in a partner is not a death sentence. We need to respond adequately to the problem. A joint desire to maintain and develop relationships will help cope with male jealousy.

Advice from an expert

Elena Sur is a psychologist. On her channel you will receive women's practices that will reveal your self-love. You will understand how to believe in yourself, how to take a quantum leap through your own transformation and how to become the best version of yourself. You will acquire the skills on how to motivate a man that the wives of billionaires have. You will learn everything about the psychology of family relationships: how to bring passion back into a relationship and survive a crisis in your relationship with your loved one. Get motivation and inspiration for self-realization in life.

In the video, Elena tells what to do if you encounter male jealousy; a man is jealous of you for no reason.

The main reasons for the lack of jealousy

All people are different, and the relationships in each family are special. Is it bad when your chosen one gives you complete freedom of choice, without dictating what to wear, where and with whom to go, how to spend your free time. If in a relationship there is care for each other, mutual understanding and trust, then the absence of jealousy is natural.

And jealousy does not always serve as proof of great love, more often it is a manifestation of low self-esteem of an insecure man.

Harmony and trust in relationships

Girls who are worried that their beloved guy is not jealous should listen to the arguments of psychologists. They identify three important factors that serve as a kind of vaccine against jealousy for a man.

Confidence. The guy does not want to play out Brazilian passions and create unnecessary problems in his relationship with his beloved. He knows that his chosen one will not betray

Noticing slight flirting or attention from other men, he will not worry. Yes, his woman is attractive, so other men turn their gaze in her direction

Any girl likes to feel irresistible, because... it raises self-esteem. The main thing is that she loves only him, and no one else will be able to achieve reciprocity. Self confidence. The man does not suffer from complexes and knows that “one does not seek good from good.” His girlfriend has no need to look for something on the side, because... in their relationship there is enough of everything. He is financially secure, shows attention and care, everything is wonderful in the intimate sphere, so the confidence that his other half is happy with everything did not arise out of nowhere. Exemplary behavior of a companion. The guy has no reason to worry: his beloved is always nearby, does not stare at handsome men, and immediately gives a “turn-turn” to annoying gentlemen.

Character of a man

There are situations when a man is naturally endowed with a jealous character, which is known, for example, from his past relationships, but does not feel this feeling at all for his current girlfriend. In this case, it is necessary to understand why the behavior of a previously jealous person became different. It may be that deep down he experiences strong emotions, but he tries with all his might not to show it. Only a frank conversation will help to understand what is happening. Ask frankly about the man’s feelings, explain to him your fears. The conversation should take place in a calm, trusting atmosphere, without claims or accusations.

Relationship status

“We met - I was jealous, got married - I stopped,” - people often come to a family psychologist for consultation with such a problem. The lack of jealousy of a husband towards his wife becomes an alarm bell for a woman, especially if jealousy was present in the relationship before marriage.

In addition, many new problems arise related to the arrangement of everyday life and the financial support of the family, so there is no time left for such nonsense as jealousy of one’s spouse.

Although there is another side to the coin, when a man no longer considers his wife attractive enough to be jealous as before. Especially when she has gained excess weight after pregnancy and is on maternity leave. Who should I be jealous of, pediatricians? Yes, and the wife is also good: always in a dressing gown, with a bun on her head and no manicure. The man has heard about hormonal imbalance and understands that the child takes up all the time of his beloved wife. And he loves her no less, but he considers it stupid to be jealous.

Jealousy and hindering maturation

Why does a person become jealous after becoming an adult formally and physically, but not psychologically? Often precisely because he was not taught to be an adult, moreover, on the contrary, they tried in every possible way to insure him against the loss of his childhood condition and status in the eyes of his parents.

This happens for various reasons: for some it is faster to do it yourself than to teach a child, “go away, you don’t know how/you’ll ruin everything, I’ll do everything faster/better myself.” Or because a child who continues to be highly dependent gives a greater sense of need and importance to the parent himself. And if the parent is also single, then often growing up is delayed even more.

Such unconscious parental resistance to growing up can also stem from fear, constant anxiety: “what if something happens?” And then the parent begins to think that by preventing the child from growing up and trying life himself, he is protecting the child from injuries and accidents.

As a result, the child gets used to the idea that he himself cannot and does not know how to do anything, that without someone else he is “zero without a stick.”

More information about the formation of this type of personality can be read in the article “Codependency: the formation of a personality prone to psychological dependence”

Growing up and trying to create personal relationships, such a child expects his partner to be something like a surrogate parent. After all, he is used to the fact that love and relationships are when someone takes you into their care.

Why is a person jealous? Because his adult partner may not be ready to “adopt” or “adopt” this person. As a result, it turns out that the partner solves fewer problems, shows less attention than his parents showed in childhood, and he does not necessarily spend this attention on other women/men.

But the problem of a jealous person is that it no longer matters to him where the partner spends this attention; in any case, it seems to the jealous person that this attention is being stolen from him.