Why is it important for a person to hear his name?
Psychologists have long drawn attention to the fact that a person’s perception of his name is associated with positive impressions. Hearing it since childhood, he makes an association with his personality. The personal name includes awareness and acceptance of:
- external data;
- level of emotionality;
- intellectual data;
- practical skills and abilities.
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The use of personal address implies special attention to the person, expression of respect, recognition of his value and individuality.
It is important to hear it because:
- it evokes positive associations associated with childhood, maternal love, emotional comfort;
- it confirms attention and respect for one’s personality;
- positive emotions arising in response to an appeal contribute to a positive mood and a trusting attitude towards the interlocutor.
When a guy does not say her name, this may indicate an unconscious manifestation of rejection towards her.
Does it matter what a man calls you?
It is a well-known fact that women love with their ears; for them it is important, pleasant and necessary to hear their name spoken through the lips of their lover. However, ladies are divided into two types: those who attach importance to this problem, and those who have the opposite attitude towards this issue. The first type of women was so concerned with finding the hidden meaning in the use of this or that nickname that psychology took up this task. Social surveys were conducted among representatives of the stronger sex, answering contradictory questions: “why doesn’t he say my name” and “why did the man suddenly start calling me by name?”
Note! Before studying the psychology of the fact that a man does not call a woman by name, it is recommended that the latter point out this misfortune to her partner so that he can explain himself.
In any case, it is worth remembering that there is always a way out. If the problem of using nicknames in a relationship is significant, both partners make efforts to develop new habits. Frequent grievances due to the fact that a guy or husband addresses his partner incorrectly will not turn out to be anything good, given that women do not always admit this. Whether it is important how a guy addresses a girl is up to her to decide. But the lady also chooses the way to react. It is advisable to have an adequate reaction, show patience and wisdom, so that there is a desire to develop relationships based on mutual trust.
Main factors
Nicknames reflect different degrees and levels of relationships. Before you know their meaning, you need to find out the reasons why males sometimes shy away from naturally approaching girls.
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He doesn't want to develop a relationship
A guy may avoid directly contacting his chosen one when he does not consider the relationship to be something significant. Most likely, he perceives the connection as temporary.
Considering why a guy, being in a relationship for a long period of time, does not call a girl by name, psychology speaks of an unconscious, frivolous or superficial attitude towards his partner. A man treats relationships as entertainment. It is possible that he has another passion to which he addresses the same words.
A man has many women
Stereotypical nicknames such as “bunny”, “baby”, “baby” are often awarded to secondary partners. Thanks to this, a man protects himself from awkward situations in which girls can be confused.
If a guy is used to communicating with many women, he does not need to remember many names. Over time, this becomes a habit, as it seems convenient.
Unpleasant associations
Psychology will also help you deal with this problem. She explains this by various psychological traumas associated with a specific person's name. For example, if there was a traumatic impact of an aggressive nature towards a man as a child, then the name of his beloved evokes unpleasant associations or memories in him.
Complexes and fears inherent in childhood are not easy to recognize and eradicate even for a psychologist. Each person has their own phobias, so in such a situation you need to show leniency towards your loved one.
He doesn't like your name
Some men are convinced that the girl’s name does not suit her. Such people, as a rule, are either superstitious or passionate about astrology and numerology. They begin to address the interlocutor differently, convincing her of a more suitable nickname for her, related to the position of the stars or other factors.
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It is likely that the guy associates the girl with the stereotypical image of the heroine of his favorite literary work or film, which is why he believes that a fictitious name suits her better.
Additionally, complex names can be difficult to pronounce. If the problem is related to speech defects, for example, stuttering, the man turns to the girl in the most convenient way for him.
The meaning of affectionate nicknames:
- By saying “baby” or “baby” to a woman, a man subconsciously draws an associative parallel between his beloved and his child. He is probably ready to have children, and in this way he expresses and partially realizes his paternal instinct.
- The nicknames “bun”, “doughnut”, “doughnut” or other delicious names may indicate that the guy likes the curvaceous form of his beloved, he consciously focuses attention on the features of the girl’s appearance. To some extent, this can be considered as a compliment, indicating the guy’s satisfaction with his chosen one. Sometimes such nicknames “hint” at the girl’s thriftiness.
- When a man addresses a girl “beloved”, “dear”, this means that he strives for tenderness, needs warmth and care. In addition, by such an address he can understand an abbreviated declaration of love.
- Addressing your chosen one as “dear” or “precious” can indicate the guy’s commercial character. Perhaps he attaches great importance to money or unconsciously reproaches his partner for excessive spending.
- The nicknames “sunshine” and “happiness” speak of a positive attitude, as well as happy experiences, as they convey the internal state through direct associations.
A man often mentions affectionate nicknames “cat”, “fish” or “bunny” in correspondence, but does not call his interlocutor by name. This also speaks of positive emotions towards your loved one.
Other reasons
Sometimes a young man’s reluctance to address his beloved by name is due to the following reasons:
- Imitation. When in the guy's family the parents did not address each other in this way.
- Psychological barrier. If a guy doesn’t even use diminutive names, not wanting to get closer to a girl, he can limit himself to impersonal phrases.
- Aggressor and manipulator. In some situations, excessively sweet or sweet treatment develops into an authoritarian style of behavior. Tender words are replaced by constant criticism, grumbling, and instructions.
- Bad experience. If a girl with the same name once brought disappointment in a relationship, an unconscious defensive reaction is formed, consisting of denial.
- Good sense of humour. The guy gives nicknames to all the people around him, so he calls his beloved one in a special way.
When expressing feelings, the individuality of each man should be taken into account, since it is not easy to immediately find out why he avoids calling his beloved in the usual way. For example, some men are convinced that their own name sounds dry and official compared to affectionate nicknames.
Reasons why a man does not call a woman by name
Most psychologists are of the opinion that a man’s appeal to his chosen one is directly related to his attitude towards her. And before understanding the decoding of nicknames, it would be advisable to find out the reasons for refusing to call someone by name.
The most common reasons why a partner ignores her name when addressing a woman:
- Copies parent relationships. Everything may be simpler than it seems - in the family it was not customary for men to call each other by name.
- Doesn't give any importance to your romance. Psychologists say that when a man is in love, the name of his beloved simply does not leave his lips.
- Creates a psychological barrier. This is an option when a guy simply doesn’t want to get close to a girl. In this case, diminutive nicknames are not even acceptable here, the matter is limited to detached addresses - “listen”, “you know”, “look”...
- Beneath the sweet epithets lies a real aggressor, a tyrant, a manipulator. In the first stages, it all starts with sugary lisps and cute nicknames, but over time it develops into authoritarianism, moralizing, decrees, mentoring, constant criticism, grumbling, etc. Domestic tyranny is often accompanied by physical violence.
- Unsuccessful previous experience. If the past passion that broke his heart had the same name as you, the man develops a psychological defense in the form of denying this name. Don't despair - this can be fixed.
- The man does not attach much importance to this fact. For him it’s all the same - a bunny, a little penguin, Anyuta and so on.
- Can't remember the name. Of course, if we are talking about first dates, and your name is really rare or exotic. The man resorts to affectionate nicknames in this case, so as not to offend the girl.
- When a man thinks that this name does not suit you. This is outrageous, but this also happens! Therefore, instead of calling you Angelica, he will call you less formally.
- If the woman is far from the only one. Usually the stereotypical “bunnies, gold, crumbs” are used to describe mistresses, i.e. secondary partners. The man thus protects himself from incidents in confusing names.
- The man believes that in a relationship there should not be a dry, official address.
- The representative of the strong half of humanity has an excellent sense of humor and he gives nicknames to absolutely everyone around him. But in this case, there will be no banal furry nickname - you will be called in a special way.
If a husband calls his wife mom
If a husband addresses his wife as “Mom” but does not call his wife by name, this is a sign of a scripted relationship. When the hierarchy of relationships in a family is disrupted, children and adults become disoriented, that is, they do not understand their role. A child in such a situation may come to the following thoughts: “Dad is an adult, but he also calls mom mom. He is my brother?". Thus, for the child, a situation arises when there is no elder in the family, who is looked for on the side.
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When a woman begins to respond in kind, calling her husband “dad,” the relationship becomes distorted and becomes scripted. Although this is done unconsciously, based on the best intentions, in such relationships the spouses cease to see each other as real. False ideas about the partner are formed, forcing one to perceive an illusion rather than a person.
It is important to take the position of an adult. People do not get involved in other people’s problems, solving them for others, that is, they do not act from the position of “parent”. Also, adult judgment does not allow you to complain about others, going through the details of someone else’s personal life, that is, from the position of a “child.”
Main reasons
At appointments, psychologists often hear complaints that the husband often does not call his wife by name, but uses some nicknames and gestures to call her or draw attention to himself. Experts say that this problem is relevant for everyone; most men refuse to contact their wives in the traditional way due to one reason or another.
To understand why a guy doesn’t call a girl by name, you need to consider the issue from a psychological point of view. There are standard assumptions to pay attention to:
- The husband copies the attitude of his parents. If it is customary in a family to call each other Zaya or Kotik, but no one remembers their real names, a man develops this attitude on a subconscious level since childhood.
- Psychological barrier. The partner does not want to get close to the woman or let her into his life.
- Unsuccessful previous experience. If a woman’s name is like a guy’s ex-lover, he will choose more affectionate nicknames.
- A man doesn't like the name of his beloved. Such situations also happen. To avoid an uncomfortable situation, the young man completely abstracts himself from it, choosing diminutive nicknames.
- If the woman is not the only one in his life.
There are many reasons why a guy doesn't call a girl by name. It’s stupid to look for a catch all the time. It is normal if your husband continues to address you using the names of animals or calling you the Sun, Beloved. For most modern couples, this attitude is considered acceptable, so it is undesirable to worry and suspect a man once again.
At the beginning of a relationship
When building a relationship with a girl, many guys at the first stages call their companions by name, avoiding affectionate addresses. This is fine. But sometimes there are times when it is difficult for a man to address a girl this way. There are several psychological reasons for this problem:
- It's hard to remember your name.
- Too difficult to pronounce.
- For a person, relationships are temporary.
- The spouse attaches little importance to the name.
- Indifferent to the girl's name.
- He believes that it is easier to call his beloved by cute nicknames.
If the restriction occurs only at the beginning of the relationship, it is too early to sound the alarm. But when you're seriously worried about a situation, just ask your guy why this is happening. You will get an answer if you really care about this person.
Many people pay increased attention to the problem, but this is wrong. It doesn’t matter how your loved one addresses you: by name or affectionate nickname. The main thing is that care and love are manifested in attitude, understanding, and feelings.
The answer is in the male subconscious
From the point of view of psychologists, if a guy does not call his chosen one by name, each time coming up with a new address, this hides a dual meaning. Depending on the type, the following nicknames can be distinguished:
- Animal. They mean either a man’s good-natured character and readiness for broad gestures, or they speak of a superficial attitude.
- Children's. A man perceives a woman as a tender, vulnerable nature, for whom he is ready to be responsible.
- Space. The mention of space terminology signifies the pride a guy feels for his girlfriend.
- Poetic. Cloyingly lofty appeals usually indicate a tendency towards empty chatter, not backed up by action.
- Special. Names that are associated with a specific girl, the features of her appearance, character traits, individual habits are evidence of deep feelings and readiness for a serious relationship.
When a guy shortens or declines when addressing him, using diminutives, this says that he is looking for special emotional intimacy, which is intended to unite only two.
How to be
Let's look at what to do if a young man does not address you by name.
It is important to understand that today the use of all kinds of nicknames has become quite popular, especially among young men. Therefore, you should not panic right away. It is possible that it is enough to simply tell your partner about your feelings and everything will work out.
Now you know what psychology thinks about situations when a young man does not call his girlfriend by name. As you can see, the reason for this can be many different factors, and in each situation, active actions directly depend on what exactly provoked this phenomenon.
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How to solve a problem
If a man does not call a woman by name, limiting himself to an impersonal phrase, the first thing you need to do is express your dissatisfaction to him directly. At the same time, the appeal “Listen” or “Look” can be played up with a joke: “Are you telling me? Otherwise people usually call me Tatyana.”
If a guy avoids contacting his beloved because of unpleasant associations associated with the past, you need to give him time. Gradually, the understanding will come that there is another person nearby, and all negative experiences are unfounded.
When a man is convinced that what his parents named his chosen one does not correspond to the location of the stars, it’s a matter of your personal attitude. If anything about the chosen nickname confuses him, tell him that during a conversation you would prefer to hear your name.
If the parents' relationship was built without mentioning names, you need to try to play along with your loved one at first. Over time, you can gradually form a new habit that is more pleasant for you.
The significance of one’s own name originates in a person’s subconscious. It is strongly associated with positive perception and awareness of oneself as an individual. In addition, it is the key that opens the path to harmony in relationships.
Three reasons why a man does not call a woman by name.
Three reasons why a man does not call a woman by name.
Hello dear friends, today I’m answering a question from a forum member and my subscriber, “Why doesn’t a man call a woman by name, what does this mean and how to react to it?”
Let's start with the phrase of Lacan, who said that a name for a person is “His semiotic assemblage point and symbolic signifier,” but to put it more simply, a name is one of the most important and core qualities of a person. And depending on how it is pronounced and with what intonation, it evokes different feelings in a person. Well, in general, why is this important, so everyone understands)).
So why doesn’t a man in a relationship with a woman call the woman by name? The question is certainly not simple, but we will try to answer it by identifying three reasons.
I believe that my subscriber did the right thing by asking this question, because having such a fact, one should be wary.
I will share here my private opinion, as a specialist psychologist with my experience.
The first thing that can be assumed from the position of psychology is that if a man avoids calling his chosen one by name, and constantly uses the so-called routine phrases from the “Fish-catching” zoo repertoire))), it is that he subconsciously avoids calling his the chosen one by name, since their relationship for him is just another façade and decoration and they are not really something significant for him. And no matter what the individual and non-repeatable characteristics of her man are, if a man is really in love, he will call the woman by name, this is a fact and an axiom)).
The second option, which often exists, is that a man often disguises himself behind these “honeyed bravados,” hiding some aggressive side of his personality and his not the best qualities. Because often, this zoology and lisp, then begins to turn into constant grumbling, moralizing, depreciation and mentoring regarding what is important in a woman’s life (tastes, friends, interests, etc.). And in this way the man tries to change, remake, push through, and in some cases even break the woman.
The third option has a conceptual essence, which is expressed in the fact that a man does not call a woman by name, which means that he has some deep-seated psychological problems of a personal nature. Moreover, it’s not immediately clear what kind of complex this is and how it will affect your relationship, you know, “Pig in a poke.” And here is my question to the chosen ones: do you need to give up on these complexes of a man in a relationship that will pass on to you along with him. Ask yourself this question, dear women.