Adviсe
- How can I make peace with my friend if it’s my fault?
- How to make peace with a friend if she is to blame?
- How to make peace with a pen pal?
- How to make peace with your girlfriend if she doesn't want to talk?
- How to make peace with a classmate?
- Recommendations from psychologists for resolving conflict with a friend
- Conclusion
Male and female friendship are two different poles of communication between people of the same sex. Which one is more reliable and durable is a question that only the person himself can answer. Some people are very lucky with their friends: they are ready to listen, and cry into the pillow together, and “hang out”, and help with money; and some find it difficult to maintain relationships with ordinary acquaintances.
No matter how friendly relations develop between two girls of any age, there comes a period of disagreement , misunderstanding, and quarrel. They misunderstood each other, went too far, followed their own character rather than meeting the wishes of their friend - and this is the result: no calls, no SMS messages, no manifestation of a loved one not so long ago.
The proposed ways to improve relationships will help you choose a rational and pleasant option for a quick way out of the “girlfriends” crisis with the least moral losses for both parties.
How can I make peace with my friend if it’s my fault?
While you are deciding how to return your best friend’s friendship if she was offended, think: who was more to blame for the conflict? In case of your own guilt, you should try to talk face to face and explain the reasons for your behavior, words, and the background of the conflict situation. It is quite possible that your friend’s view of what happened does not fundamentally coincide with yours. Or, it is possible that she simply does not have the information fully.
Friends in a quarrel
Ignores, demonstratively turns away, looks angrily - why does a friend do this?
The natural reaction to a situation when a loved one behaves unusually, ignores or gets angry is indignation. “How can she do this to me when we are so close?” - girls think when they see a friend with a new friend or hear harsh words addressed to them
It is important to restrain the first flow of emotions, since actions in the heat of the moment will only aggravate the quarrel.
Try to accept the idea that your friend does not belong to you. She may develop new preferences and priorities change just like yours. As you grow older, your outlook on life shifts; this is a natural path of development. Respect for personal space and agreement with changes will help restore friendship.
The basis of trusting relationships between people is closeness in spirit and confidence. During a quarrel, she is tested, and often insults show that faith in words and actions has been lost. Perhaps a friend feels betrayed, abandoned or deceived, so she is looking for her man.
How to make peace with a friend if she is to blame?
Yes, this can happen too. She is to blame for your quarrel, but this does not make it any easier to find a way to make peace and forget about past grievances. As in the first case, it is important to air out grievances. Before the conversation, it is recommended to think through the main points that you want to focus on. But in no case should this be entirely claims and accusations against a friend. In this situation, you will completely quarrel. Think about why she might have offended you or said unpleasant words, remember the situation and circumstances that occurred before the quarrel. You may have provoked this behavior or missed some important event. In any case, your task is to find out and become friends again, and not to scold your friend for what she did.
“Don’t come near me, I’m offended,” or what leads to quarrels
Psychology provides answers to tricky questions regarding the complexity of human interactions. When misunderstandings and disputes occur, the blame for the events leading up to the conflict lies with everyone. First of all, analyze what happened , why it happened, what each participant thinks and how each participant perceives the quarrel, and then decide what to do with this knowledge.
Looking through women's forums and sites with advice from psychologists, you will see that two common reasons for disagreements with your best friend are the appearance of another person , a guy or a girl, and anger at each other's actions. Often girlfriends spread gossip, are jealous of the guys they like, envy fashionable dresses or a glamorous eyeshadow palette. And a conflict arises.
Situations when a third wheel arises in the communication of friends are as follows: a young man has appeared, to whom more attention is directed than to friendship, or another friend with whom hobbies coincide. The main rule is not to interfere in other people's lives. Good intentions do not justify such behavior, and the belief that you are acting from good intentions will be lost.
An emotional explosion often occurs between people due to misunderstanding and understatement. In other words, the girl is offended by the words of another, but does not talk about it because she is ashamed to admit it or believes that the reasons for the offense are obvious. She could hear gossip from mutual friends that touched her to the quick, and she believed it. The way out in such cases is to communicate, clarify positions and see the picture from the other’s point of view .
How to make peace with a pen pal?
The words hurt. In addition, when texting, your emotions and smiles are not visible (and emoticons cannot always express what you wanted to say). As a result, a friend may be offended by the most harmless joke in your opinion. But all the same words, which quite recently were a bone of contention, can “cure”. As a rule, any quarrel can be resolved through conversation , words - so talk! Write to her, explain your position as sincerely and clearly as possible, without blaming yourself and especially your friend. If she really values your friendship, she will definitely read it and, at a minimum, react, and at most, forgive.
How to make peace with a pen pal?
How to make peace with your girlfriend if she doesn't want to talk?
What to do if your friend simply does not want to talk or listen to any of your explanations? As in the case of a pen pal - write. An email, postal letter or SMS message with an apology in the case of guilt or an attempt to explain the situation and your point of view in the case of innocence can improve the current situation if you refrain from blaming and making claims. Perhaps you simply misunderstood each other . The tone of the letter or message should be calm and reasonable and it is better if it leads to personal contact: let's go to the cinema, take a walk, help me with shopping, etc. Even if you usually communicate with sarcasm, “kicking” each other, in this In case this would be inappropriate, it is recommended to choose the usual friendly style of communication, without a hint of humor: perhaps your friend is not yet ready for jokes, but is internally ready for a serious conversation.
What if he doesn’t answer? Well, this is her right, and she may well use it . In such cases, it is better not to escalate the situation by writing more and more opuses with the manifestation of friendly feelings, but to take a break. An unexpected situation can make a favorable revolution in a relationship.
Two close friends talking over a cup of tea
Causes of the conflict ↑
Jealousy
Has your friend started paying less attention to you? Perhaps she has found someone with whom she is more interesting. It could be:
- Object of love. Every girl finally finds a young man with whom she wants to spend all her time. And on her part, conversations are only about him. For a certain time, friendship between girls may cease, but not for long. In the end, she will definitely want to share all her secrets with a person who supports her and understands her perfectly.
- If you started dating a young man, then you will immediately notice resentment from your friend. She will accuse you of starting to pay less attention to her, “changing her for a guy.” This is fine. Help her find her soul mate, and then she will begin to understand you perfectly.
- Another friend/company. Most likely, your friendship is over. If now one of you wants to communicate with other people, it means that your interests no longer coincide. You can try to maintain friendship in one way - try to join the newly formed company. If these people could not captivate you, then you should prepare for the fact that you will have to do without a friend for now.
Emotions
Homewrecker emotions include:
- Envy. Often it can be caused by the more successful marital status of one of her friends, her career, financial status, appearance, ability to dress, etc. A lucky girl should stop showing off her achievements, and an envious girl should curb her ardor and start working on herself.
- Touchiness. It’s easy to “hurt” such a friend by saying even a little criticism of her or making a bad joke. Constantly pouting lips quickly gets boring, but what if your friend is actually very good? You need to learn to communicate delicately with such people and say every time that no one meant anything bad. And that girl who is used to being often apologized to should start treating herself and others more rationally, and increase or decrease her self-esteem (depending on the nature of the grievances).
- Pride. Now a quarrel has occurred, and one of the friends considers herself too good to be the first to approach. Here the second girl should make it clear that if she is not to blame, then she will not approach again, because both of them always need to make concessions.
Views
They can diverge at any moment. She thinks this way, you think differently... In principle, there is nothing wrong with this: everyone has the right to their own point of view. However, when these disagreements become too much, the friendship slowly fades away.
To avoid this, it is important to follow some rules:
Chat about these topics. To find out why your opinions differ, you need to talk. Certain arguments must be given on both sides. Perhaps one of you will be able to convince your interlocutor.
Change the subject. Can't come to an agreement? Start chatting about something else. Let everyone just have their own opinion
And don't focus on this anymore. Maybe this trifle will never come up in your conversations again.
Then why waste your nerves?
Have you been rude to your dearest person and don’t know how to approach him? Read about how to apologize to your mother. How to make peace with a girl via SMS? Read on.
How to make peace with a classmate?
Another option: you quarreled with a classmate who is also your friend, and you value your friendship. It is important to resolve the quarrel, because you communicate together, study, conduct common projects; You probably have mutual friends who will feel like they’re caught between two fires. Therefore, it is so important to understand the problem: ask for forgiveness if you understand that you are largely to blame, and be the first to make contact. Even if your classmate is at fault, do not think that she is obliged to come up first. No matter how trivial it may sound, be smart, come first and try to explain the situation as you see it. Again, without explicit accusations, so as not to add fuel to the fire. Your task is to talk through your grievances and quarrels without mutual accusations and come to a common decision or compromise.
Methods of reconciliation
- Apologize personally. If you are interested in the question of how to behave if “it’s my own fault,” then, first of all, you need to take care of an apology. It is ideal if you ask for forgiveness in person.
- The second option is to write a letter or message. This is especially true if a friend refuses personal contact.
- Presenting a surprise. But you shouldn’t give an expensive gift. You probably know what she likes, it could be chocolates, a small soft toy, a favorite magazine. Send such a present.
You can also read about ways to reconcile with a friend.
Recommendations from psychologists for resolving conflict with a friend
It's not always obvious what to say to a friend to make peace quickly. Here are just a few examples of what to do in specific situations. The following recommendations from famous psychologists will help, if not completely resolve the situation, then at least dot the i’s:
The cause of the conflict is a man . A difficult situation that is rarely solved successfully. You are not alone, you are loved and in love, but your friend just can’t find a boyfriend or life partner. And joint trips to the cinema, theaters, visits, trips to picnics and jogging, skiing, skating begin... Such a merger of two circles of acquaintances is fraught with consequences: now he no longer looks at his friend so wildly, and she cheered up, but why is it inside your heart Has jealousy started to appear? Inevitable quarrels with your partner and girlfriend will aggravate the situation. The solution is simple: you should not provoke such circumstances - joint parties and trips are possible, but in moderation . A friend is an adult, and there is no need to drag her around with you everywhere: the intimate space of two lovers is private, and friends (even close ones) have no place in it.
Love triangle among friends
2. Variation of a love triangle , where a third girlfriend appears instead of the beloved man. And now the old friend and the new one have already become friends with all their might and are ready to do without you: go shopping, go to a concert, have fun in a club. Being an outsider is unpleasant, but if you let the situation take its course, you can completely write yourself off. The solution will be your own initiative: finding interesting exhibitions, new clubs, classes, master classes and inviting your best friend to them will be a way out of a disadvantageous situation. As in the case of a man, the solution will be to separate the two acquaintances: no joint activities with the old and new girlfriend at the same time, if they do not like each other. At the same time, finding an opportunity to communicate with each of them separately will help expand your circle of friends without collapse.
3. Money and range of interests become the cause of envy - but whether it becomes black or white depends on specific characters, lifestyle and commonality of views.
The opportunity to spend commensurate amounts in a store at first seems unrelated to friendship, but in reality, too different standards of living can undermine friendships
Unless you or she can catch up with each other in terms of financial well-being, the situation is hardly solvable: it’s rare that a girl will be able to control herself and not brag to her friend (even knowing that she is limited in funds) of new acquisitions. Quarrels due to envy, even if the reasons are understood, are unlikely to end in long-term friendly relations .
If you feel guilty about a quarrel with a touch of envy, you should think about personal growth and getting rid of the unpleasant feeling of failure. Situations of unrepaid debt by either party are fraught with damage to relationships for more than one day. Working on themselves, true friends will not overshadow the joy of friendship with black envy.
Two best friends fooling around
Warnings and other tips
Don't forget to give your friend gifts (for example, for her birthday) and recognize all her achievements. Even if your friend’s resentment has not yet subsided, showing care and attention will never be superfluous. This will show her that you still love your bad boy and really miss her. In a reckless fit of rage that comes immediately after a quarrel, never spread rumors about your best friend, because, as you know, you won’t be able to take back your words. Do not discuss the conflict with your mutual friends, trying in every possible way to attract friends to your side, otherwise you risk losing her trust forever. It is unlikely that after she finds out about this, you will restore communication, much less continue to share secrets, so do not forget to look to the future. Don't give up - fight for your friendship. Let minor grievances and misunderstandings not create problems in your relationship. Honesty comes first. Be patient. Don’t expect that your relationship will return to normal in one minute and everything will be as before. There was a quarrel, and, no matter how sad it was, it will definitely leave a mark. Each of you will draw conclusions, so give both yourself and your friend time. When the situation becomes hopeless because of your and her excessive pride, try to solve the problems with the help of mutual friends. If you definitely feel that the first step is yours, then take it unobtrusively and even secretly. Invite your friends to throw a party and invite your offended friend to it - there you will definitely find a compromise and make peace.
Very often this happens when a guy appears in a relationship with a friend, and it is on this basis that the most serious conflicts occur.
Either you accidentally stole the boy you liked from under your friend’s nose, or vice versa - she took the initiative, and the guy’s attention became completely devoted to her, or one of you somehow got into an already established serious relationship - the point is not important . A love triangle does not obey the laws of geometry, it cannot be isosceles, so put your feelings in order and decide what is more important to you - friendship or love? Think and decide what is more important to you - friendship or love?
As you can see, in order to regain the strong friendship ties that have connected you with your friend for many years, you need to be strong, decisive and honest. If you take the first step and reach out to your friend, she will understand that your relationship with her is valuable to you, and this will speed up the process of completely reviving your friendship. We wish you a speedy reconciliation!
