Development of emotional intelligence in preschool children consultation on the topic

In an effort to develop a child’s intelligence, many pay attention only to the child’s cognitive abilities. However, we should not forget about such an important concept as emotional intelligence, that is, the ability to recognize one’s own and other people’s emotions, manage them and understand the reason for their occurrence. In many ways, these abilities are the key to a successful and happy human life. You can start developing emotional intelligence at an early age. We will tell you how to do this in this article.

Why is it important to develop a child's emotional intelligence?

Children react to everything very emotionally. They took away a toy, didn’t buy candy - tears, and vice versa, mom came home early from work or saw a tractor on the street - wild joy. The expression of emotions in preschoolers is not limited to joy and sadness; they can express anger, surprise, shame, annoyance, admiration and other complex emotions. But they are not always conscious. Children with underdeveloped emotional intelligence cannot answer the question of how they feel at the moment. In addition, they experience difficulties in communication due to the fact that they do not pay attention to the feelings of others or misinterpret their emotions. It is with the development of emotional intelligence that the abilities of empathy and compassion are associated.

Children who do not understand their own emotions cannot control them. Therefore, parents of such children often face hysterics and whims.

Psychologists have concluded that the level of development of emotional intelligence directly affects the child’s self-esteem. Those children who have learned to recognize their own and other people’s emotions and understand their cause are usually self-confident, more resistant to stress, and more easily adapt to new conditions. At the same time, children with insufficiently developed emotional intelligence are prone to anxiety - they can perceive any failure as a personal tragedy.


The term to the ability to recognize and correctly express one’s emotions. Emotional underdevelopment hinders the development of children.

Developed emotional intelligence helps :

  • manage your behavior;
  • understand the feelings of others.

Emotional intelligence
Everyone is familiar with cases when parents did not buy a toy for their child, he begins to be capricious and cry. He feels resentful and expresses his feelings by crying.

Understanding your feelings will give your baby the opportunity to regulate behavior in a given situation.

The experience of living your feelings will give you an understanding of the emotions and feelings of other people. This will help the baby establish contacts and communicate correctly with other people. Children with developed sensory intelligence fit into the team more easily , they are less conflict-prone and more stress-resistant. A developed ability for empathy contributes to closer contacts with relatives and the formation of trusting relationships.

How to communicate with a child to develop his emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence begins to develop in a child from birth. This happens naturally when a mother or another close adult responds to his emotions and gives her care and affection. To see how children learn to understand emotions, watch the video:

Already at an early age, parents can lay a solid foundation for the development of their child’s emotional intelligence. To do this, it is necessary to name the child the feelings he is experiencing. For example, if your baby is crying, do not rush to put a pacifier in his mouth or try to distract him. Try to talk to him and describe his state: “you’re probably upset because I didn’t let you take the cookies” or “I understand you’re angry...”. By describing your child's emotions, you help him get to know himself better. Subsequently, he will learn to control his emotions. When communicating with your child, avoid stereotypical phrases such as “men don’t cry” or “don’t fight - you’re a girl.” These statements not only do not contribute to the development of the child’s emotional intelligence, but also devalue the child’s feelings and make him feel ashamed of himself.

Many of us were taught as children to suppress our emotions. And if vigorously expressing joy is still acceptable, then negative emotions have always been prohibited: being afraid, angry, crying - all this is shameful and ugly. As a result, most of us have been forced to suppress negative emotions in order to appear well-mannered. However, psychologists are confident that holding back strong emotions in childhood can lead to neuroses and psychological problems in adulthood.

In a situation where you, and not the child, are experiencing a strong emotion, you also need to voice it. If your child hits or pushes you in a fit of anger, do not scold him, but calmly explain how you feel. This applies not only to negative, but also to positive emotions. Tell your child often how happy you are to spend time with him, how proud you are of him and how happy you are at his success. Learning to communicate with a baby in this way is not at all easy. At first, a psychologist can help with this, who will teach you not to be afraid to show your emotions and talk about them.

What is meant by emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is a fairly new concept in practical psychology. But the property that is designated by this term has been manifested for as long as human society has existed on the planet. After all, people from time immemorial have been trying to understand what is happening by observing the expression of feelings and emotions by other people.

Emotional intelligence is a set of abilities that allow a person to express his emotions and understand the feelings of other people using verbal and non-verbal means.

Psychologists note that this property is formed throughout a person’s life. Emotional intelligence develops in close connection with the acquisition and improvement of communication skills. This is “a kind of IQ in relation to people and the world of feelings.”

There are four components that represent the basis of emotional intelligence:

  • The ability to distinguish and express a specific feeling
  • Understanding emotions (understanding)
  • Ability to regulate emotions
  • Assimilation of emotions with thought processes

Accordingly, emotional intelligence has a direct impact on the development of such personal characteristics as self-awareness, self-control, and sensitivity in understanding interpersonal relationships. Also, the quality of communication with others directly depends on this type of intelligence.

Games to develop emotional intelligence

  • Acting out scenes from life. Example of a game: take a toy hare and pretend that the bunny is crying. Try with your child to use facial expressions to show how the bunny cries. Discuss why he is crying (he is sad, he is offended, he is cold, his paw hurts, etc.). Figure out how you can help him. Such games can be started as early as two years of age. But please note that the situations played out should be close and understandable to the child. Demonstrating emotions and explaining them using simple examples will help your child learn to understand the feelings of other people.

  • Art therapy. Listening to fairy tales, the child gets acquainted with various options for expressing emotions and learns to empathize with the characters. You can also develop your child’s emotional intelligence through drawing (especially with paints) and music therapy.
  • "Guess the emotion." This game is suitable for children of older preschool age. Using facial expressions, depict some emotion and ask the baby to guess what you are showing. Then the child himself can act as a leader and show emotions to you.
  • “Hands get to know each other, hands quarrel, hands make peace . This exercise is done in pairs. Sit opposite each other and close your eyes. The point of the game is to express emotions (for example, anger, joy, sadness) using your hands.
  • "What the Mood Is Like" . Invite your child to imagine and think about what the mood is like. It is better for an adult to start the game (for example, my mood is like a babbling brook" or "my mood is like a hurricane").
  • "Gather the emotion" . This educational game can be found in the store or made with your own hands. Draw faces depicting different emotions and cut them into parts (eyes, mouth, eyebrows). Then mix them and ask the child to “collect” the given emotion.
  • Games with emotion cards . Using special cards depicting emotions, discuss with your child what the characters in the pictures are experiencing and what causes their emotions.

Games for developing emotional intelligence should be selected not so much based on age recommendations, but rather on the child’s experience and interests. Each child has his own individual development path, and when the baby is ready, he will definitely touch on such an important topic of emotions.

Tips for parents

In order for the development of emotional intelligence to proceed harmoniously , parents should help children go through all its stages:

  • talk about feelings using children's literature;
  • discuss cartoons about what emotions the characters experience;
  • voice the emotions experienced;
  • ask the child how he feels;
  • Parents should not be ashamed of their experiences, but they should express them in such a way as not to offend or humiliate anyone.

Development of emotional intelligence
Emotions should not be suppressed , even if it is anger and anger. We need to find ways to express them that will not upset others. You can train yourself to read poetry out loud or tear up paper when you are overcome by anger or despair.

Compliance with the motor regime is mandatory . Walking in the fresh air, quiet games and conversations before bedtime help normalize the emotional background.


Experts agree that a high level of development of emotional intelligence is the key to success in life. In preschool age, the development of the emotional sphere acquires special significance, since during this period the child actively develops his self-awareness and self-esteem. Parents have many opportunities to help develop their child's emotional intelligence. Discuss emotions and the reasons for their occurrence with your child, openly express your feelings and do not forbid your child to do so. There are also many special games for developing emotional intelligence.


At preschool age, the child becomes familiar with names and manifestations of feelings. Tries to overcome anger and irritation.

Experts believe that suppressing emotions is fraught with neuroses and psychological problems in the future.

All emotions are needed

This intelligence begins to develop most actively at primary school age . Successes and failures in educational activities, relationships with classmates cause a certain range of experiences.

Adolescence is characterized by a violent manifestation of feelings of all kinds. Failure to manage them leads to conflicts and absurd situations. Conflicting emotions should not be discounted.

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