Gravidophobia – fear of getting pregnant and pregnant women
Pregnancy is an important event in the life of every woman. Expecting a child can be a joyful and long-awaited state, but not always. The physiological process of pregnancy is associated with many changes in hormonal levels and health. The birth of a child is an important step for which, for many good reasons, future parents may not be ready.
An unplanned pregnancy can cause changes in life plans and priorities. It is normal to not want to find yourself in such a situation. But there are people who are terrified of finding themselves in such a situation and experience extreme discomfort at the mere thought of getting pregnant or being the partner of a pregnant woman - gravidophobes.
Meeting any pregnant girl can also cause fear. Gravidophobes experience severe discomfort when contacting or thinking about an irritant; increasing panic may be observed, which is accompanied by physiological symptoms. This disorder causes significant harm to the emotional and physical state, so it is important to promptly identify the causes and begin treatment.
What fears of childbirth most often plague women?
The list of worries during pregnancy is very wide. It starts with very strange superstitions, for example, some expectant mothers are afraid to step over obstacles because they believe that this will lead to a difficult birth, or they believe that the child will have problems with speech if there is fish in the pregnant woman’s diet. It is not difficult to cope with such fears - they simply cannot take up residence in the head of an intelligent woman. However, anxiety before childbirth can also be associated with fear of the unknown, a sense of loss of control, and other psychological factors that cause anxiety in even the most sane people.
Let's look at the most common fears of expectant mothers and discuss why you shouldn't be afraid of them.
What if I can't be a good mom?
To begin with, bad mothers usually do not reflect on this matter. Your anxiety before giving birth is understandable, especially if you are giving birth for the first time. It seems to you that good mothers have downright superhero skills that you, an ordinary woman, do not have. Don’t worry: yes, you still don’t know and can’t do much, but believe me, experience will come. And you will definitely become the best mother for the best baby in the world!
Will my husband be a good dad?
It is common for expectant mothers to experience doubts both in themselves and in their spouse. This fear can develop into misunderstanding in the family and greatly ruin your relationship. To cope with it, you need to understand that your loved one wants, but is physically unable to feel what is happening to you now. Help him: don’t force him to guess your desires, but clearly formulate what he can do for you. And so that your husband can better understand your concerns during pregnancy, attend childbirth preparation courses together.
What if I lose my child?
This fear may appear closer to childbirth, but sometimes it haunts the expectant mother throughout the entire period of bearing the baby. It manifests itself especially strongly in women who become pregnant a second time after an unsuccessful first pregnancy. There are also cases when the expectant mother projects onto herself the negative experiences of her friends and even the stories of strangers read on the Internet. Drive away bad thoughts: every pregnancy is unique, and pessimistic expectations are the last thing you need right now.
What if my baby is born sick?
One of the fears of late pregnant women is the birth of a child with physical or mental disabilities. In fact, if screenings during pregnancy did not reveal any abnormalities in the development of the fetus, the likelihood of such an outcome is minimal. Especially if you have followed your doctor's recommendations for a healthy diet and lifestyle.
I'm afraid to give birth!
And finally, we come to the main fear of childbirth, or rather, even a group of fears. Bad thoughts about the upcoming birth often intensify in the third trimester. Sometimes the reason for this is physiological changes in the body of the expectant mother, hinting at the imminence of childbirth. For example, an increase in training contractions, which usually occurs at 37 weeks.
Let us examine in more detail the fears associated directly with the birth process.
To distract yourself from negative thoughts, do an important and useful thing - pack bags for the maternity hospital: two for yourself (with things you will need before and after the birth) and one for the baby. Don't forget to buy diapers. Pay attention to Huggies Elite Soft diapers for newborns. They are amazingly soft and have three-level protection against leakage.
Possible reasons
There are a number of negative prejudices about pregnancy. As mentioned earlier, the pregnancy process can bring a number of inconveniences. Gravidophobia could develop as a result of being intimidated at an early age that an unplanned pregnancy brings many troubles. Stories about a difficult pregnancy or painful childbirth could become a trigger for the emergence of gravidophobia. Some gravidophobes describe pregnancy as the end of a normal life.
Another possible cause of this phobia could be a traumatic event in childhood. For example, a pregnant woman showed cruelty to her child and pregnant women began to be associated with unpleasant and painful situations. Perhaps someone close died during childbirth and the child’s psyche did not find other explanations for what happened. Men often become gravidophobes, as they may not be ready for moral and financial responsibility. The patient often states that they often encounter pregnant women and take this as a sign of a possible replenishment. Patients suffer from nightmares and interpret any dream as a warning.
“I’m terrified of giving birth, what should I do?”
Photo by PIXABAY.
“I’m seven months pregnant, an important event is about to happen very soon,” the expectant mother shared. – I really want a child, my husband and I are both waiting for his birth. But I’m so afraid of giving birth, I’m in real panic. I’m afraid of pain, I’m afraid of complications during childbirth, I’m afraid that I will do something wrong during childbirth, that the child will be born sick. I’m even ready for a caesarean section (although there is no indication) just to avoid giving birth myself. I go to a school for young mothers and read specialized literature. But nothing helps to cope with fear.”
Psychologist at the Bobruisk Maternity Hospital Tatyana Syromolot recommends:
Psychologist Tatyana Syromolot.
– Christina’s condition is understandable. Pregnancy is one of the most important periods in the life of every woman. The fear that arises before childbirth is quite normal, adequate and understandable. Almost every mother has it, but not everyone can overcome it. First of all, it is necessary to discover the causes of fear. Let's try to figure it out together.
- The very first and main reason is the mass nature and accessibility of various information. Most women, when they find themselves in an interesting situation, start reading everything. Unfortunately, they often turn not to competent specialists and experienced professionals, but to all kinds of forums and gossip. There's so much you can read there: stories about childbirth with complications, insane pain, and so on. Of course, after reading this, you can lose all desire to give birth.
Remember that childbirth is an individual process that occurs differently for each woman. The more you are afraid, the harder and more painful it will be;
- Another reason for fear may be negative previous experiences or the experiences of friends. A woman cannot get rid of the haunting fear. It begins to seem to her that everything will be bad and nothing else.
- Another reason is fear of the unknown. It occurs in primiparous women. You don’t know exactly how childbirth will proceed in your case.
The best way in this case is to attend classes for pregnant women, where they will tell you how the process of giving birth to a child goes, teach you proper breathing and pain relief during childbirth;
- Another common fear is fear of pain and fear of serious complications: what if something goes wrong. To avoid this, some women agree to have a caesarean section. This is not a solution, first of all, in this case the baby suffers.
You need to understand that you will be surrounded by experienced specialists, the doctors will do everything necessary. And you, in turn, need to listen carefully to the medical staff, who can warn you against most problems and troubles;
- Another reason for fear may be the girl’s psychological unpreparedness to become a mother. Because of this, the body, on a subconscious level, tries to delay the moment of birth of the child, which is why the whole process becomes even longer and more painful.
Therefore, it is better, of course, if your pregnancy is desired and planned. But even if there are small changes in the planned time frame, it doesn’t matter. Probably everything happened when it was needed, and not when you wanted it. In any case, motherhood is a great gift, and children are a great happiness.
Talk to yourself, honestly admit what you are afraid of. You can write the answers on a piece of paper, this will make it easier for you to understand yourself. The main thing is to remember that the course and outcome of labor depend only on you and your optimism. The key to a healthy and easy birth is the woman’s confidence in its positive outcome, proper physiological and moral preparation.
You must constantly convince yourself that everything will be fine, that the birth process is the final stage of your pregnancy. You need to go through it from start to finish with your baby. And try to focus more on your child than on yourself. He is also scared: he will encounter the big world for the first time, he will have to work no less during childbirth than his mother. Start purchasing all sorts of small things for him and arranging a cozy nest.
But if you feel that you yourself cannot cope with stress and fear, and the mention of the upcoming birth causes you hysterical horror, you need to take individual sessions with a psychologist.
If you have questions that you cannot answer yourself, write to our email:
A psychologist will help
Recommendations from psychologists
Many gravidophobes experience fear of pregnancy, even using all possible methods of contraception. Patients have obsessive thoughts about the pregnancy that has already occurred, and girls are often wary of any changes in the body. This creates emotional stress and constant anxiety. To mitigate the symptoms of the disorder, psychologists recommend the following steps:
Admit your fear. Sometimes it is difficult for patients to realize that a certain fear has become obsessive. This may be due to a healthy reluctance to have children at certain times in one's life. It is important to recognize that constant discomfort and fears are very disturbing and affect the quality of life. This way, you can move forward to find a path to a solution.
Tell your loved ones about the problem. Jokes about possible pregnancy are very painful for gravidophobes. Talking with loved ones about your fear can prevent many unpleasant situations. Of course, it is impossible to completely prevent inaccurate statements from others, but if at least in a close circle they know about the condition of a gravidophobe, it will be much easier.
To be informed. Many people, even as adults, may not fully know how the process of conception occurs. Reading medical literature on the topic of pregnancy and its course can eliminate the unknown and common misconceptions. As a rule, the focus should be on the natural thoughtfulness of this process, which in itself is perfect, and modern medicine, which can solve any situation. It is highly discouraged to search for information on the Internet; preference should be given to authors with medical education and encyclopedias.
Heal psychotrauma. If gravidphobia arose as a result of psychological trauma and a person is afraid to contact and meet pregnant women, then it is important to find the root cause and try to look at the situation through the eyes of an adult. Not all gravidophobes can remember a traumatic event on their own; in this case, you need to consult a psychologist or psychotherapist.
Contact a specialist. All of the above techniques can help in the early stages or mild forms of the disorder. But, if the situation gets out of control, the reasons are not found, and the symptoms are overwhelming, you need to go to a psychologist or psychotherapist. With the help of cognitive behavioral therapy, finding out the reasons with the help of leading questions and observation by a specialist, you can get rid of gravidophobia.
Where does fear of childbirth come from?
To effectively combat this psychological phenomenon, you need to know its causes. So, the main reasons for fear of childbirth are:
- The unknown.
The first pregnancy and childbirth is a radically new condition that every woman experiences. Without proper information preparation, she may become confused and panic. - Pain.
Due to the anatomical features of the female body in general and the reproductive system in particular, childbirth is painful. Pain is a natural companion to this process and is the norm, but even awareness of this does not guarantee that a woman will not be afraid of it. - Possible complications.
Unfortunately, during pregnancy and childbirth, many women experience various anomalies and pathologies, including death. Modern medicine, although it has effective means to reduce such risks, cannot eliminate them completely. - Loss of beauty.
An important factor contributing to the formation of fear of childbirth is the fear of losing attractiveness and sexuality. Indeed, in some cases, hormonal imbalances and intense physical activity during childbirth can damage your appearance.
To one degree or another, these reasons worry every woman, especially if she is experiencing childbirth for the first time. This is a natural phenomenon, since, unlike animals, a person perceives this process not only instinctively, but also at the level of consciousness, which is susceptible to external information, reflection and other factors.
Help from loved ones
A person with a phobia always needs the support of loved ones. Sometimes having someone you trust nearby helps you recover much faster. But support must be accurate and competent. Therefore, it is not recommended to say the following phrases to a gravidophobe:
- “Everyone is giving birth and is alive and well!”
- “Pregnancy is the best time!”
- “Just use reliable contraception!”
- "A good appetite! Maybe you're pregnant?
- “You're acting strange! Are you pregnant by any chance?”
You should avoid any jokes related to pregnancy. It is especially dangerous to play pranks on a partner with gravidophobia about a pregnancy that does not exist. It is important to take into account the anxious state of the gravidophobe, listen to his experiences and sympathize.
The next step is to imagine pregnancy from a different angle, learn together about the features of the process and try to shift attention to the possible joys of having a child. In addition, it is recommended to carefully lead the gravidophobe to the need to seek help if he has not yet done so. If you undergo therapy, take recommendations from a psychologist or psychotherapist who has gravidophobia.
In cases where the situation gets out of control and the symptoms of a phobia become too painful, regularly use the services of a qualified psychologist and psychotherapist - Andrey Filippov. Consultations can take place in the office or online. If the recommendations are followed, a sustainable result from the treatment is guaranteed. Remember that mental health is an important part of self-care!
