Who is a melancholic person: characteristics and compatibility with other types of temperament + my feelings in this role

Hello dear readers. Pavel Butor is in touch and in this article we will understand in every detail who a melancholic person is. What is a person of this type of temperament like, how to identify him among your interlocutors and how to interact with him. We will touch on issues such as the compatibility of a melancholic person with people of a different temperament, and we will talk about raising a melancholic child. An interesting test awaits you, with which you can understand what type you are. And also at the end of the article, I will share with you my personal feelings about life, since I am a melancholic and an introvert, and I will tell you what to do if you happen to be one. Go!

On the division into character types

Let's start the article with all sorts of facts and terms. Well, what can you do – that’s psychology. But at the end there will be a lot of personal experience.

In medicine, it is customary to divide everyone, based on behavior and character, into 4 types of people: melancholic, sanguine, choleric and phlegmatic. Although everything is far from so simple, there are also many subtleties. Traits of several characters can be simultaneously present in one person. This is usually called a mixed type of temperament. This is studied in detail in psychology. Knowledge makes it easier to work with patients and helps develop correct behavior with such people.

4 types of temperament

How to communicate

A melancholic person means sensitive and vulnerable. When communicating with him, it is important to avoid harsh statements, rudeness and aggression. Such behavior causes strong emotional distress and can provoke depression. Even a slight increase in voice in a conversation can lead to a severance of the emotional connection, which means one thing - a melancholic person will not sympathize with or trust his opponent. To successfully communicate with such people, you need to adhere to the rules - inspire, praise, reassure them, take the first steps towards them, but not be intrusive.

general characteristics

Let's look into the details of what kind of melancholic he is.

A melancholic person is a person who does not splash out negativity on others and does not start quarrels, preferring to accumulate all grievances and experiences within himself. Such individuals are prone to soul-searching and introspection, but at the same time these same emotions make them very creative individuals.

People with this type of character are characterized by a tendency to constantly worry. They experience vivid emotions that can appear in bursts and then fade away. But unlike the choleric person, the melancholic person does not show them, outwardly remaining unperturbed.

The description of this type (as well as others) was formulated by the ancient Greek healer and philosopher Hippocrates, giving it the name in honor of black bile - melaina chole. It was this illness, in his opinion, that best characterized his character. Just like black bile, negative experiences poison the body. In the modern world, its interpretation continues to be used, only supplementing it with the results of new research.

How to identify a melancholic person by character traits

It is enough to spend some time with a person to find out his type. Knowing the characteristics of a melancholic person’s character will make it clear how to communicate with him correctly so as not to feel awkward. Briefly about the main signs of behavior of this personality type:

• Excessive touchiness. With a melancholic person, you will have to carefully watch what you say and how you say it. A harsh word or inappropriate tone can cause offense in such a person. But it’s not a fact that you can recognize it by external signs.
• Closedness. Melancholic people are often not very sociable. They don’t like noisy companies (they are simply uncomfortable in someone else’s company), and if you have to be among people, you will rarely hear more than 1 or 2 phrases from them.
• Tact. A melancholic person will not ask you when you will get married or have a child. This doesn't mean he's not interested. Just based on personal experience, he will not “get into your soul.”
• Creativity. Often these people are representatives of creative professions. Internal emotional outbursts allow you to direct your energy in the right direction. Therefore, you can often hear that creative individuals are “on their own” or capricious, although this characteristic is erroneous. This is simply a cost of temperament.

Melancholic artist
There is information that people of this type of character can be identified based on appearance. Melancholic people have a supposedly fragile physique, their limbs may be slightly elongated, and their skin is pale. But this is very controversial, since absolutely anyone can look like this.

But body language can sometimes, on the contrary, reveal the melancholic side of your interlocutor. Some tightness in posture, tightly pressed knees, often crossed arms and in general the feeling from such a person that he is trying to become more compact.

Advantages and disadvantages

People with a melancholic character can easily succeed and stand out among the team. Like all personality types, they also have good and bad sides. Positive character traits:

• Faithful. If a melancholic person has become attached to you, then most likely it will last for life. Their affection is always sincere, such a person is a very good friend.
• Monogamy. A person with a melancholy character is a monogamous person and prefers to build long-term relationships. This is true in most cases, but not always.
• Very sensual. Due to increased emotionality, melancholic people are prone to romanticism. In love, they are very gentle and sensitive, taking care of their couple.
• Creative. Creativity for melancholic people is a way of self-expression. And the richer the emotional range, the more creativity they produce.
• Good analysts. The usual state of a melancholic person is observing others. Thanks to this, they have a well-developed ability to analyze and anticipate events and people's behavior.
• Perfectionists. Possessing perseverance, they do their work thoughtfully, achieving high-quality results. Unfortunately, speed suffers.

As usual, the most striking advantages also result in negative aspects of character.
Melancholic people experience separation or betrayal very hard. Sometimes it may take them more than one year to move away from a long-term relationship. Excessive emotionality can have a bad effect on the state of the nervous system and ultimately result in unpleasant illnesses. Because of the love of analyzing everything (especially oneself), an endless internal dialogue occurs. This soul-searching and constant replaying of situations in a circle often interferes with moving forward and slows down personal growth.

The most striking disadvantages of melancholic people:

• pessimism;
• low stress resistance;
• poor self-esteem;
• inertia;
• communication problems;
• excessive slowness.

Music has a great influence on the mood of a melancholic person. She can drive him into depression or, conversely, give him strength.

Melancholic introvert

Melancholic people are characterized as closed people, weakly responsive to the external environment, with restrained speech. But one of their most important qualities is the increased sensitivity of the nervous system. This quality allows such people to succeed in the creative field. But it also makes the melancholic vulnerable to society.

A person with this type of character often experiences events too much, and this can affect not only psychological health, but also physical health: pressure changes, nervous tics, headaches.

In addition to the division into character types, people also have different personality types: introvert (closed) and extrovert (open). So, a melancholic person is an introvert.

Can a melancholic person be an extrovert?

You will never meet a melancholic extrovert, since this type of temperament and psychotype are incompatible by definition. A melancholic person will never love a noisy company and will not be in the center of it, since he does not need it. To protect his inner world, he will prefer to hide from prying eyes.

Relationships

Despite the increased sensitivity and vulnerability, in a relationship the melancholic person is a very faithful and reliable companion. If his significant other has trouble, he will worry about himself. At the same time, he will try to do everything possible to solve the problem and help a loved one.

The main thing in a relationship for a melancholic person is to feel that he is loved, that he is needed. Therefore, he needs to be constantly reminded of this, pampered, and pitied when he feels sad again.

I have compiled a table of compatibility of a melancholic person with representatives of other types of temperament.

Temperament type	Character traits	Compatibility
Sanguine	Optimistic, sociable, frivolous.	Good - an energetic and extroverted sanguine person takes care of a submissive, quiet melancholic person.
Choleric	Dominant, unbalanced, irritable.	Low - a melancholic person is doomed to suffer from the rudeness and straightforwardness of an explosive choleric person.
Phlegmatic person	Calm, calm, slow.	Average - a calm, phlegmatic partner will quickly get tired of the increased emotionality of a melancholic person, and the second will suffer from misunderstanding and indifference on the part of the phlegmatic person.
Melancholic	Vulnerable, sensitive, reserved.	Low – both introverted and overly touchy partners will sulk at each other over the slightest careless word.

As can be seen from the table, the most suitable for each other are melancholic and sanguine. A melancholy partner will dutifully obey a sanguine person, who, in turn, will charge his sad companion with optimism and cheerfulness. However, for such relationships to arise, representatives of these contradictory types must meet somewhere and fall in love, which is quite difficult.

With a choleric person it will be very difficult for a melancholic person, because he will not spare feelings and choose expressions when communicating with a deeply vulnerable partner. A union is possible if both learn to compromise and respect each other.

The equanimity and iron calm of a phlegmatic person will be regarded by a melancholic person as indifference. From this he will begin to suffer, look within himself for the reasons for his partner’s coldness and fall into despair. But the thing is that a phlegmatic person, in principle, does not know how to express his emotions and feelings, which is of great importance for his melancholic partner.

Two melancholic people are unlikely to get along. Insecure and touchy, they will simultaneously take out their suffering and complaints on each other. In this case, they will generally spend most of their time in silence, being offended by one another.

The situations described are true for people with a pronounced type of temperament. However, there are very few such people. Most people have a mixed temperament. In this case, a person contains a whole mixture of characteristics corresponding to two temperaments at once.

Features of a melancholic woman

A girl of this character is a very modest, often complex person who avoids large and noisy companies. From the outside, she may seem a little slow. Outwardly, she shows practically no emotions, although a storm can occur inside. Typically, melancholic women are very creative; they like to decorate their homes, doing things with their own hands, sewing or knitting clothes for their loved ones.

Melancholic woman

How to raise a melancholic child

From early childhood, a melancholic child loves logic toys, willingly learns about the world around him, and is inquisitive. But he may often not make contact with his peers. The child studies well at school and has good behavior, but rarely responds on his own initiative in class. At the same time, such a child may completely lose interest in the subject if the teacher offended or insulted him.

Parents of a melancholic child need to carefully filter the information coming to the child. Thanks to their well-developed imagination and heightened sensitivity, such children have a hard time coping with cruel scenes from films or even fairy tales.

A melancholic teenager needs the support of his environment and relatives, gets tired quickly, and is very worried about the distribution of forces in the class. Boys have a hard time with failure and can become interested in collecting and sports. The girls are quiet and willing to carry out their teachers’ instructions. They often become teachers' favorites, regardless of their academic performance.

Health (psychosomatics) of melancholic

The most vulnerable place of a melancholic person is the nervous system. Weak resistance to stress makes him susceptible to any disease. The largest number of strokes occurs in melancholic people.

Another problem area is the lungs. Due to the tendency to keep their emotions inside, melancholic people suffer from asthma, heaviness in the chest and cough.

The most obvious illnesses of a melancholic person are problems with posture. He often has scoliosis, kyphosis, and stoop. Due to the incorrect position of the vertebrae, nerve endings and blood vessels are pinched. This leads to neurological problems. They are usually expressed in headaches, dizziness, and fainting.

Relationships and compatibility with other temperament types

To find common ground, it is important to have common interests. But sometimes this may not be enough. It would seem that there is a common cause or hobby, something to discuss, but different characters do not allow them to get closer. It turns out that temperament also plays an important role in successful communication. Let's figure out how a melancholic person feels next to people of a different type of temperament, and who is suitable for him.

With a choleric person

Choleric is considered the most “mental” type of temperament. These are people with an explosive character who can shout if something doesn’t go according to plan. They are constantly nervous, even over small things, and take it out on others. But they also think very quickly and in critical situations make decisions faster than others.

Of all the types of temperament, a melancholic person combines worst of all in a relationship with a choleric person. He may simply be “crushed” by the latter’s irrepressible energy and strength of character. A choleric person can often communicate in a raised tone and cannot hold back harsh words, while melancholic people are, as a rule, quite touchy people.

With a sanguine person

People of this type are considered the most sociable and positive. Often such people are portrayed as cheerful and always laughing. A sanguine person belongs to the extroverted psychotype.

He is an optimist, a good listener and a pleasant conversationalist. A sanguine person easily finds a common language with a melancholic person, being an inspiration for him. It charges you with energy, helps you overcome internal pressures and move towards your goal. An ideal combination, since it is a sanguine person who can stir up a melancholic person.

With a phlegmatic person

Phlegmatic people are deservedly considered the calmest people. It’s hard to piss them off, but if this person gets angry, then this is comparable to a disaster, since the slower he starts, the slower he cools down. Phlegmatic and melancholic get along well with each other. This will be an even relationship or friendship without strong emotional outbursts.

With a melancholic person

This may seem like the perfect combination. After all, who can better understand a melancholic person if not exactly the same? Yes, such a union will be idyll. And it will be a measured and stable relationship. No “Italian” quarrels with showdowns, breaking dishes, and so on. But if a melancholic person needs a person who can inspire him to move forward, then it is better to take a closer look at a representative of a different type.

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Personal relationships

In relationships, they do not take the initiative, choosing a wait-and-see, passive tactic. Due to low self-esteem, they are always unsure of their partner’s feelings and are in no hurry to flaunt theirs. A melancholic person will talk about passionate love if he trusts his partner. An innate penchant for romanticism turns any manifestation of his feelings into an unforgettable spectacle. He is sincere and gentle, supporting his heartfelt, sublime words with appropriate gestures and facial expressions.

Melancholic people are monogamous. Having accepted and fallen in love with a person, they carry their spiritual affection throughout their lives. They love hugs and soft touches, delicate, touching kisses on the cheek. The partner will have to periodically reinforce the melancholic person’s confidence that he is needed and loved. Melancholic people need to hear that their loved ones will always be there and will continue to care for them.

A couple where the man is sanguine and the woman melancholic is built on mutual intuitive attraction. Initially, a melancholic woman is wary of her sanguine partner, rightly fearing that a superficial, frivolous man will emotionally wound her. Having overcome the psychological barrier, they are able to create a harmonious union in which they are brought together by flexibility of thinking and impartiality of judgment.

However, when paired with a sanguine person, a melancholic person may experience discomfort and loneliness due to insufficient emotional closeness with a partner who values ​​independence too highly. A difficult relationship awaits with a choleric person who is inclined to be rude. When paired with a phlegmatic person, misunderstanding is possible due to different activity in the manifestation of emotions. A restrained phlegmatic person may be irritated by his partner’s excessive emotionality.

An ideal union arises between two representatives of the melancholic type of temperament. Both partners feel comfort, security and peace within the relationship. They understand each other perfectly, guessing their partner’s mood from subtle gestures or facial expressions. They constantly discuss feelings, thoughts and hopes, which contributes to the search for compromise solutions. Difficulties can arise due to idealistic ideas about love, which in reality often leads to disappointment.

Ideal job for a melancholic person

For a person of a melancholic nature, it is better to choose professions that minimize interaction with people and require attention to detail. For example, the work of a manager or advertising agent will not suit them, since this type of activity involves constant contact with a large number of strangers.

You can choose monotonous activities that require periodic use of thinking. List of suitable professions for a melancholic person in which he can succeed:

• analyst;
• literary editor;
• programmer;
• designer;
• advertising developer;
• writer;
• psychologist (subject to non-group practice), etc.

Although a melancholic person prefers to work alone, if the team is small and close-knit, with a homely atmosphere, so to speak, then these conditions are quite comfortable for him.

Suitable professions

Representatives of this personality type should take a very responsible approach to choosing a profession. Calm, measured work without unnecessary stress is suitable for them. You should avoid professions associated with constant communication and fuss. They will be uncomfortable in the positions of manager, courier, dispatcher, call center operator, advertising agent, etc.

Since melancholic people are often creative and talented individuals, they should pay due attention to their own self-realization.

Most suitable professions:

• artist,
• designer,
• programmer,
• tester,
• engineer,
• writer,
• copywriter,
• literary editor,
• composer,
• librarian.

Famous melancholic personalities

There are a lot of examples where famous people who achieved success had a melancholy character. It is noteworthy that their activities were mainly related to creativity in one form or another.

Famous melancholic people:

• Keanu Reeves;
• Johnny Depp;
• Michael Jackson;
• Megan Fox:
• Charles Robert Darwin;
• Fedor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky;
• Sergei Alexandrovich Yesenin;
• Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol;
• Pavel Sergeevich Butor (coming soon!);
• Isaac Newton and others

Melancholic Johnny Depp

What to do if I'm melancholic - my personal opinion

How can a melancholic person live in modern society without breaking out of the general rhythm? To be honest, I wanted to write a separate article on this topic, but decided to limit myself to a short text within the framework of this article.

Friends, I myself am melancholic and an introvert, and everything described above is about me. This is considered to be the weakest type of temperament. But to be honest, I don’t care about this judgment. I have my own opinion on this matter, and the facts from my life confirm it.

Yes, sometimes this makes it difficult. Yes, sometimes I can get carried away over trifles, I can be offended by a person, it would seem, because of a trifle. By the way, I learned to deal with this. How exactly - read my article.

Constant internal dialogue, analysis of my past actions, anxiety that comes from out of nowhere, fatigue from long-term communication (especially uninteresting), physical fatigue, sometimes slowness and the like - all this is present in me, and no matter how hard I try to change it, nothing works. Therefore, you need to turn everything into “plus”.

The most important thing is to accept yourself, stop comparing yourself to other people and start enjoying yourself and your capabilities. Now I’ll tell you how I do it (the process, of course, is still far from complete, but a start has been made).

You need to clearly understand your trump cards. And a melancholic person has a lot of them!

Responsibility. For example, I know for sure that if a matter is interesting to me, then I will approach it with great responsibility. Especially if someone asked me to help and I agreed. I will carry it out meticulously. Yes, speed suffers, but until the quality, in my opinion, reaches the ideal, I will not finish the work. To turn this feature into a “plus”, I just needed to choose the right activity.

Analytical thinking. I'm just in awe of this! Not to say that I develop this side greatly, but even the basic skills given to me by nature are enough to stand out from the crowd and think differently: think ahead, analyze the actions of other people, etc. This is truly a strength and it is inherent melancholic people!

A sense of beauty and the ability to feel people. This is a characteristic of absolutely any melancholic person. Yes, because of this we can sometimes seem too sentimental, but this can also be corrected. For example, when I communicate with a person, I can immediately determine approximately who he is and what kind of energy he carries. True, friends, and this is cool! If you correctly combine analytical thinking and the ability to feel people, then we will turn out to be the best psychologist in the world. And if you are a good practicing psychologist, then you can easily control those around you.

Leadership. It is believed that a melancholic person cannot be a leader. And I'll tell you that this is nonsense. It's just that the leadership format is different. You will not lead the crowd into battle by shouting slogans, but you will calmly control both the captain and the crowd. You can easily gain leadership in any team and do it without anyone even noticing. How – I described in detail in the previous article. That's right, it's not that difficult, because you feel every person perfectly. You just need to know certain tricks, that's all!

Relationships “man - woman”. Again, for some reason, everyone around me thinks that a melancholic man has a hard time with women and vice versa. And I can say with confidence that this is nonsense, but not entirely! For example, it was really hard for me before. And rightly so, girls love obvious leaders (choleric people), cheerful people (sanguine people), guys who don’t whine. And this is all true. But guys! Those abilities that are already inherent in us by nature can be applied to women in such a way that everyone else will be no match for us! Don't believe me?

We feel a woman very well - this is a huge plus for guys. After all, all women are very emotional, and knowing the reason for their actions, plus analytical abilities to develop certain strategies, we can always control the situation. You just need to know certain tricks and that’s it. And for this, friends, you need to study seduction. “Romantic” style - who can be a romantic better than a melancholic person?

We are shy, but it can be cured with practice. We don’t like noisy companies - it’s unlikely to be cured - which means we shouldn’t go to noisy places, but go where it’s comfortable.

In general, friends, a melancholic person has a lot of advantages. Just to understand them and learn how to use them correctly, you need:

1. Accept yourself and understand what you can and want to change, and what you cannot or do not want.
2. Eliminate what is unacceptable to you.
3. Constantly work on yourself.
4. Compare “I am now” with “I was then”, and in no case with other people.

Don't like your job, are you very tired of it? So, maybe it's because she's not right for you at all? Quit, just do it wisely.

I understand your situation and since you are reading this article, I have an effective solution for you. Get training. For example, you are shy and your communication skills suffer, unlike a sanguine person, for example - take communication training.

Also download your advantages. For example, by nature, as a melancholic person, you are endowed with a unique ability to feel people’s emotions. But it’s not clear how to work with all this, right? This means you need to improve your emotional intelligence. I recommend you the “Emotional Intelligence” training, which is conducted by the famous trainer Oleg Kalinichev, a famous consultant, director of Paul Ekman International.

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This investment in yourself will pay off very quickly, and you will become much more productive. Completing the course will allow you to understand your own emotions and the emotions of other people, determine when you are being lied to, understand people's facial expressions and resolve conflicts. The course is aimed at developing the skill of remaining calm in any situation, and the main value of the training is increasing self-esteem and self-confidence.

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That's it, friends. Whether we are melancholic or sanguine, introverted or extroverted - all this is not as critical as it seems at first glance. Let's not give up, but start working on ourselves!