According to statistics, depression develops less often in men than in women, but its manifestations can be more dangerous. Men in a depressed state often make attempts to commit suicide, and, unfortunately, these attempts are usually realized.
In order to prevent the death of a loved one, a woman needs to be especially attentive to him during difficult periods of life. Why does the disease develop, how to deal with it, and what to do if a man shows signs of a depressive disorder? , a psychiatrist and psychotherapist at the MEDSI clinic on Leninsky Prospekt, spoke about this .
Symptoms of depression in men
Psychiatry does not divide depression into male and female. This condition manifests itself equally in all people, regardless of gender and age. Signs of depressive disorders are formulated by the international classification of diseases. And if you notice one or more of them in a loved one, you should be wary.
It’s worth paying attention if a man has stopped enjoying those things that gave him pleasure before. For example, he happily went fishing, but now he refuses to do it. Or if he is increasingly in a bad, depressed mood, he tries to leave the house as little as possible, and in his free time he prefers not to get out of bed.
In addition to the external signs of depression in a man, there are also internal ones. “Boys don’t cry” - this is how men are raised in modern society. But precisely because of this, all the internal experiences that torment a person and increase melancholy are not brought out. Men are not used to discussing problems with their wives and girlfriends. And with depression, multiple negative thoughts may arise:
- about personal or professional insolvency;
- about the lack of prospects in life;
- feeling of guilt.
Against this background, attention decreases and intellectual functions deteriorate. The person becomes distracted and cannot remember important information or concentrate on important work. There is also a decrease in sexual desire for the spouse, sleep is disturbed, and appetite usually decreases.
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Signs of a mental disorder
Depression often begins unnoticed, so even close people cannot understand that changes in character and behavior are signs of depression in men and associate this with completely different diseases and events.
As an illness, depression is only diagnosed if symptoms last longer than two weeks. Only after this period do professional doctors begin treatment. If there is no relief in the symptoms of depression in men, their development increases, and treatment may take a long time.
The disease progresses differently in all men. Some become aggressive and irritable, others have outbursts of anger. Sometimes a person becomes lethargic and loses interest in most objects around him. He periodically seems to “turn off” and completely withdraw from the outside world.
To heal, you will need to do a lot on your own. The main thing is to want to get well, to force yourself to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to again consider all the colors of life.
People suffering from depression often simply lack normal communication with relatives or good friends. Isolation should not be allowed, even if there is a feeling of severe discomfort in the presence of other people.
Symptoms of depression in men are often characterized by a desire for unnecessary risks. As it becomes increasingly difficult to enjoy life, the search for extreme pastimes begins.
Everything that previously seemed dangerous, with depression, becomes a pleasant source of pleasure, a way to stay afloat.
Causes of the disease
These manifestations become a “marker” of processes that occur inside the body. Scientists have not yet figured out the causes of depressive disorders, but they agree that dozens of biologically active substances in the body are involved in them.
Clinical depression in men is not just a bad mood. This is a disease that affects the hormonal and immune systems, but mostly affects the functioning of the brain, as it disrupts the production of neurotransmitters responsible for emotions, reaction speed and performance.
Some external “push” usually leads to the development of depression:
- problems at work;
- dismissal;
- dissatisfaction with personal relationships;
- lack of career growth and financial well-being.
At different ages, the reasons may be different, but the processes occurring in the body of a man at 30 years old with depression do not differ from those at 40 and 50 years old. An external push triggers a cascade of biochemical reactions in the body, and it is not always possible to stop them on your own, without the help of a specialist.
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Test for symptoms of depression in men
Psychiatrists diagnose the disease and determine its severity. It is difficult to make a diagnosis on your own, as well as to develop treatment tactics. Despite the fact that there are enough tests on the Internet for diagnosing depressive conditions and various scales, this method alone is not enough to clarify the diagnosis.
“In psychiatry, a diagnosis is established based on a person’s current mental state, life history and examination using tests,” comments psychiatrist Christina Wirth. “A diagnosis can only be made based on a combination of factors.”
At the appointment, the specialist evaluates the person’s behavior, clarifies the life history, causes and duration of the depressive state, and offers to fill out a test as an additional diagnostic method.
For self-completion, the patient uses the Aaron Beck test, where you need to select answers from groups of statements based on your condition over the past week. Another well-known test for diagnosing depression is the Hamilton Scale; it is completed by a doctor based on a professional assessment of the patient’s condition and behavior. This test is not suitable for self-diagnosis.
How can a man get out of depression on his own?
Despite the fact that depression was included in the international classification of diseases quite a long time ago and was recognized by the world medical community as a dangerous disorder, many people, especially in Russia, still do not take it seriously.
They think it will go away on its own, compare it to laziness, or accuse a person suffering from a depressive disorder of being spineless and irresponsible. And this is a huge risk, since without proper help, mental problems will only get worse. And against their background, the accompanying “responses” of the body will develop.
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“Since depression is based on an imbalance of bioactive substances, hormones and even the immune system, it increases the risk of dangerous diseases,” says Christina Wirth. “Against a background of depression, the risk of cardiovascular diseases and infectious diseases increases.”
It is important to take into account that you can get out of depression on your own only if it developed against the background of a problematic situation and at some point the problem was resolved. This improves a man’s emotional state and helps him regain his zest for life. If the problem is “prolonged”, depression develops over a long time, and it becomes impossible to get rid of it on your own.
After all, physiological processes are added to the psychological disorder, hormonal imbalance occurs, and the production of neurotransmitters in the brain is disrupted. And to correct the condition, the help of a specialist is needed. Otherwise, improvements may be temporarily observed against the background of the disease, but depression will regularly return and intensify for no apparent reason.
“Self-healing is possible with mild depression,” comments the doctor. — The maximum you can do on your own is to find psychological literature, self-help manuals, read them, try to work with yourself. But there must be a will for this, there must be faith in one’s own strength, and the aid itself must be professional.”
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How to survive male depression?
A gloomy look from under his brows, a dissatisfied expression and a sour face.
Posture: horizontally lying, immobilized. Attributes: TV remote control and half-removed sock. An additional highlight is given by a mournful expression on the face, coupled with nervous scratching or tapping of fingers on the upholstery of the sofa.
These are all superficial symptoms of male depression
. How to fight this scourge and is it possible to survive this cataclysm that has fallen on your pretty head? I was prompted to such reflections by the periodic contemplation of a subject who deigned from time to time to suffer from depression vulgaris, or the blues, to put it simply.
The blues for men is a kind of way to relax, to be at least a little weak, forgetting that he is a breadwinner, a hero and should be able to kill a mammoth with one hand. A man’s status does not allow him to suffer openly
and the truth firmly driven into my head that big boys don't cry. But men are also human, and, according to statistics from cunning psychologists and psychotherapists, they are even more susceptible to stress and nervous disorders than we women.
And if the average woman is able to stop a galloping horse, fly into a burning hut, and then go to a salon for a manicure and styling, then such a set of feats will put the average man down for at least a day, followed by a difficult period of rehabilitation.
But, again, moaning out loud about the lack of equality in terms of expressing emotions for the stronger sex is impermissible according to etiquette, so 95 percent of the male population prefers to experience all the worries in silence, sternly clenching their teeth, like commandos on a mission.
And don’t expect your beloved to tell you a detailed, tearful story over a cup of tea about painful issues.
- this, thank God, is the prerogative of the exclusively female gender. The maximum is “I’ll tell you later!” Then maybe he’ll tell you. Two or three sentences. Then you can comment with all the oohs and ahs appropriate to the situation.
And - too much for you to poke around with a rhetorical question: “ Darling, what happened?
"! Most likely, your darling will look at you with the icy gaze of a monarch in exile and mutter something incomprehensible and equally unpleasant. If you show persistence and persistence in finding out the reasons for the universal sorrow on his face, he will only begin to insidiously remain silent or answer with a tear in his voice that nothing happened. From this chilling “Nothing!” you will most likely panic and imagine all possible and impossible misfortunes - from the sudden death of your beloved canary to the worsening economic crisis in the country. Don't back down. They took the cities with persistence.
Of course, when we are in the position of the ignorant, and we do not know what really happened, we worry, worry and begin to imagine all the misfortunes tenfold. But the devil is not so scary... So, virgins, we don’t get scared, but learn, in the manner of a Spartan, to face danger face to face - in our case, the ordinary Male Blues.
In addition, the experience of waging psychological warfare at home will definitely be useful in later life. Relationships are never perfectly smooth, so if you want to achieve the status of a loyal fighting girlfriend, you will have to learn to show loyalty and patience in moments of your man’s weakness.
Now, based on personal experience, I will tell you about the encounter with a man’s melancholy state in practice.
For the first time encountering the male blues
and being absolutely unprepared for the underground war against this scourge, I was slightly shocked.
If in the candy-bouquet period the man shone with optimism and energy, then with close cohabitation in the same territory, some character flaws were revealed. Namely: reclining on the sofa with an absent face, a tendency to whims (the butter was not spread correctly, and the tea had to be stirred counterclockwise).
The above-mentioned bad moods alternated with irritability of varying degrees of severity and subsequent withdrawal into a depressive state.
Our first depression was very painful.
. Darling entered the apartment with a gloomy, slightly distorted face and, tragically shuffling with his slippers, collapsed like a stone on the sofa. Naturally, I asked what actually happened. In response, the darling began to turn his nose towards the wall, nervously tapping his heel and covering himself with a newspaper.
The phrase “ No, I see something happened!” Only you are hiding!
”, pronounced with the proper strain, also did not have the required impact. The depressed sufferer sent a mournful and expressive look in my direction, assumed the pose of a dying swan, sat comfortably on the couch, and responded with a sad sigh to offers to eat borscht, hazel grouse in sour cream and pineapples in champagne.
It is rare that a woman can withstand the likely threat of a hunger strike. My vivid imagination immediately pictured a cold, emaciated body with a television remote pressed to the solar plexus and emaciated fingers on the on/off button. The first panic attack began to set in. With the agility of a circus monkey, I danced around the sofa, carefully looking into the eyes of my beloved, hoping to read in the languid eyes of the depressive a verdict or news of some coming Apocalypse.
The brain, with the speed of an advanced Pentium, was calculating the options for a bad mood: a strike at work... the suppliers threw me out... magnetic storms... a pimple on the heel... he doesn’t love me anymore!!! Aaaaaaaaa...!!! That's right, I fell out of love! ... That’s why he looks at me like a financial inspector at a malicious defaulter. And he refuses to eat. Well, that’s it, love has passed, and no amount of cutlets can fix the matter.
I made another desperate attempt to find out what actually happened in our hitherto calm life. To find out the details, it was necessary to use military stratagem. With a tray full of biscuits for admonition in one hand and a half-liter cup of tea in the other, I briskly pranced along the rookery, expressively putting my foot down and smiling invitingly.
Darling glanced with interest, first at the tray, then at me, but, promptly remembering the image of a sufferer, he courageously refused the offered cookies. My love for humanity was diminishing before my eyes, and at some point I really wanted to lightly hit the sufferer with this very tray. However, remembering the sense of tact, I swallowed the angry lump in my throat and in an insinuating voice, squeezing out a large crocodile tear, said that I was with him in sorrow and in joy, and to Siberia as the wife of a Decembrist, barefoot in the snow.
This assurance did not have the expected effect, but caused a slightly hysterical reaction. Darling jumped nervously and in an icy voice asked to leave him alone. I got offended and went to the bathroom to suffer from male callousness. Having soaked and made myself beautiful, an hour and a half later I returned to the light. The suffering macho no longer suffered, but reclined on the sofa, savoring sandwiches with sausage, and looked at the Spartak goalkeeper with a tender gaze. The eyes were clear, like forest lakes, and not clouded by any unnecessary suffering.
I delicately did not disturb him for another hour and a half. After lying down for his own pleasure and fattening up on cookies, the beloved deigned to tell about the reason for his suffering. The reason was minor work problems, and by no means of a universal scale. I, of course, was indignant, but why couldn’t this information be given out earlier, so that I wouldn’t be tormented by making assumptions about all the possible misfortunes of this mortal world. To which the answer was received that he needed to think in order to understand how to act and develop a strategy. “So, what did you think?” — I asked sarcastically. "Yes!" — the recent sufferer answered cheerfully and succinctly, looking carnivorously at the sandwich with one eye and at me with the other.
From the situation described above, I drew several conclusions, and at the same time expanded my knowledge of applied male psychology.
First of all, they are not like you and me.
. If a woman is quite content to complain about the hardships and deprivations of this world to her trusted girlfriends in order to feel better, then men will certainly not gather a support group around them to discuss problems. A man will prefer to be alone during times of difficulty. At this time, you know, they are thinking. Perhaps working on a solution to the problem. And even if they don’t think, then while they are in a silent, gloomy state, something happens to them akin to a computer reboot. A process that requires time and concentration.
it is advisable to bypass the loading man in a roundabout way at this time
. Or temporarily dissolve in outer space. And if you do slide past, it’s only on tiptoe.
Depending on the complexity of the problem, the time to return from a black hole to earth takes from a couple of hours to several days. If the gloomy state of mind goes off scale for a week, and neither your hysterical hand-wringing nor cabbage pies have any influence on the patient’s condition, then, apparently, you are faced with a protracted form of the blues, and in this case, the same sense of tact is required from you, patience, endurance and nerves of steel of a psychiatrist. Armed with all these qualities, there is a good chance of winning the war with male loading.
So, if symptoms of depression are detected, you can use the following algorithm of actions: we took the direction of a suffering man - immediately put our ears on top of his head, we don’t come close, but we look kindly, we speak quietly, and we wait until he comes up, at the same time with all his appearance expressing his readiness to help and put all his talents to work on the altar of his well-being and peace.
Believe me, he will appreciate your unobtrusiveness and delicacy.
. In the end, if a man is built differently, you shouldn’t expect from him the same patterns of behavior that we have. The least painful and most beneficial thing is to accept as a given the characteristics of male suffering and especially not to bother with rhetorical questions like “why does he suffer in silence?”
If the game is successfully played, after the depressive state has passed, you will earn a grateful kiss on the cheek and a reputation as an intelligent woman. In addition, unnecessary nervous worries spoil a fresh complexion. Therefore, the most profitable policy is “Calm and only calm!”, as recommended by one famous and extremely charming man.
