How to close the gestalt yourself. Reasons for unclosed gestalts

Ivan Vdovin

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I often hear from people that they need to close the gestalt and they don’t even understand what it is and why it is important for personal success, a calm and happy life. How to close the gestalt yourself, read below, I will give a couple of ideas, but I do not guarantee the result. Why? I will explain in this article.

How to close a gestalt?

The most important task for closing the gestalt is to understand that everything happens inside you. The responsibility for what is happening lies only in the depths of your soul and childhood. Accordingly, you need to start by recognizing that by understanding yourself, you will change the world/situation around you.

Next, become aware of the situation that you don’t like. It could be relationships, money problems, or the victim's condition. You can write down absolutely any problem here. After all, a problem is essentially an unfinished gestalt.

Choosing a problem

Once you have chosen the problem, trust yourself and ask the question, how old were you when the problem appeared in your life? The main thing here is to try not to think logically, but to feel with your inner gaze what your intuition tells you.

The answer can be absolutely any 1,3,5,9, 15 years. Even the prenatal period sometimes comes up. Just trust yourself and choose the age at which the incomplete gestalt appeared. You may not even see the picture of the situation yet.

For example, you felt that the unclosed gestalt is at 1.5 years. Next, we ask questions to remember the situation:

1. Morning afternoon Evening Night?
2. Outdoors or indoors?
3. Day of the week?
4. Season?
5. Who is next to you?

When you asked yourself questions, a picture of a situation in which the gestalt remained open begins to emerge.

Next, ask yourself the question: (be sure to write it down on a piece of paper)

What emotions do you feel in this situation?

What decisions and conclusions were made in this situation?

What would you like differently?

How would you like to feel in this situation?

What would you like to do?

What would you like to say?

Example:

I’m 1.5 years old, I’m in my crib at home, it’s evening and autumn outside, I see my mom and dad quarreling over the fact that my father came home drunk again.

At this moment I feel:

Fear, apathy, anger, resentment, anger, hopelessness, self-pity... etc., etc., write everything you feel down on a piece of paper.

What decisions/conclusions were made in this situation?

1. Nobody loves me
2. They don't pay attention to me
3. I'm not needed
4. Fear of being alone
5. Everyone leaves me

The solutions are again just for example, everyone will have their own!

What would you like differently?

So that mom and dad wouldn’t quarrel, they came up to me and hugged me, took me in their arms.

Or, for example, so that such a situation does not exist at all, and I just lie and play with toys or what do children do at 1.5 years old?

How would you like to feel in this situation?

Love, care, joy, happiness, security, respect, etc., etc. write down everything you feel.

What would you like to do?

Hug mom and dad. Eat, sleep, play...

What would you like to say? (say it out loud)

Tell mom and dad that I love them...

Say: I love mom and dad

Now say out loud the essence of everything you wrote down:

...I allow myself... (say the essence from the point “What would you like differently”)

I give myself permission so that mom and dad don’t quarrel

I allow myself that this situation would not exist at all

...I allow myself... (say the essence from the point “How would you like to feel”)

I allow myself to feel: Love, care, joy, happiness, security, respect

That's all, in theory, you were supposed to cry there, and the situation would improve, if, of course, you took it seriously. Usually people don’t want to bother, but just quickly go through the points and with a sense of accomplishment that it didn’t work out, start writing angry comments that it doesn’t work.

Please don't do this, just take it seriously.

BUT, to be honest, closing the gestalt on your own is very difficult, for what reasons I will describe below.

Gestalt is: learning to enjoy the current moment...

Learn to live “here-and-now” and you will be happy, say Gestalt therapists.

Read the article published on our website “The World Bank Report on Russia or the Four Stages of a Long Life” and you will find out what happens to those who neglect the “here-and-now” principle.

In order to learn this principle, there are a lot of Gestalt exercises. For example, learn to chew food thoroughly with your teeth, paying attention to what you eat. You will read more about this Gestalt technique (the favorite technique of Fritz Perls, the founder of Gestalt therapy) in the article “Kitchen secrets of Gestalt therapy”, published on our website.

Projection and introjection in Gestalt therapy

In order for patients to learn to live with their eyes wide open and see life for what it really is (and not neurotic hallucinations), Gestalt therapy teaches them to work with two main problems, which are designated by the terms: projection and introjection.

Having studied the articles “Exercise: “How it really was” and “This insidious projection or “I see all your cards,” you, with the help of simple, interesting and visual psychological exercises and techniques, will come one step closer to the ideal of a healthy person, what psychotherapists understand him - that is, a happy, successful non-neurotic person.

In the article “Victims of Introjection: Who are they?” You will read about how negative parenting prevents us from being rich, loved and happy people. And, of course, in the article you will learn how to work with an undeveloped parent scenario.

In the article “Exercise “The Origins of Our Beliefs,” you will become acquainted with the most specific psychological technique for working through the parental scenario, which is performed in two stages over two days. (This, of course, does not mean that you can stop being neurotic in two days).

Well, if you read the article “The Parable of the Artist or “Don’t forget to give your guests tea,” you will find out why the principle of life “here-and-now” is so important for philosophers and psychotherapists.
Using the example of a bright and paradoxical metaphor, you will learn its deepest philosophical background and understand the correctness of the founders of the Gestalt approach. Or you will understand something else—your own. Which is also great. Because understanding is valuable in itself. And it doesn’t matter what we understand. And now we offer you an amazing gestalt layout for psychological maps , which will help you clear up the problems of the past so that you can move on with peace of mind.
In this article we raised a very rare gestalt topic, and also a very sensitive topic about how visually (from the point of view of his clothes and image) a typical neurotic with open gestalts looks... It is unlikely that you will come across these thoughts (and a particularly satisfactory explanation reasons for this problem) both in the camp of fashion bloggers and in the camp of psychotherapists.

This topic lies “at the intersection” of Gestalt methods, but neither one nor the other deals with it. Meanwhile, there is a problem, it is obvious, omnipresent and can be seen with absolutely the naked eye!

So, the typical appearance of a Gestalt neurotic.

The person appears to be clearly “stuck” in some distinct decade with all its trends and fashions (for example, in the 90s).

For example, he wears long hair in a ponytail (hair), she walks around with a hippie backpack, both have piercings in their ears and black sweatshirts with metal bands, but it still doesn’t look stylish, it’s just sad and scary, like Silent Hill , like dirty, low-quality books at a used bookstore.

Why does a person behave this way? Let's try to figure it out without gestalt psychology.

Does he have no money at all to update his wardrobe? Empty! Things wear out and we buy new ones.

Maybe he lives in complete isolation from information and does not know what people are wearing now? No.

Or is he so angry at the world, at young people, has degraded, and has almost turned into a grumpy old man who believes that “everything was better before” and any modern fashion seems to him in advance disgusting, worthless, insulting him or her personally?

This is already closer to the truth, since from the point of view of Gestalt psychology we all love the era in which our youth occurred, but still no, not quite like that.

There are quite benevolent, kind, cheerful people who have not yet learned to “hate the whole world”, have not yet turned into “old men with a stick blaming the government,” but nevertheless, looking at them, we still state: stuck in the nineties .

At the time when he (she) was 18-25 years old...

As you already know, Gestalt psychologists explain this phenomenon simply. In that fateful decade (of which they are walking advertisements) the maximum number of their unfinished gestalts remained.

If we arm ourselves with Gestalt psychology and its methods, we begin to understand that they do not leave this place and this time, everyone is waiting for something or someone... Everyone is trying to clear up the problems of the past so that they can move on with a calm soul...

Gestalt is, in simple words.

Translation from German: incompleteness.

All our problems in life are, in fact, unfinished gestalts.

Money, relationships and even health, because... Many diseases appear due to psychosomatics.

If we take from the example above, in that situation where mom and dad were quarreling, you expected that mom and dad would come up and hug you and say that they love you. But this did not happen, so the gestalt is not closed.

And that’s it, from this moment you begin to live in need to be loved. By the way, this is where the feeling of jealousy is born.

What do we get next? In any of your relationships, you demand love from your partner and do not always give yours. You as a consumer or owner.

It is important to note here that everything manifests itself differently for everyone.

So, what is next?

Accordingly, you began to project the same situation onto your relationship, you also quarrel with your partner, and in fact it doesn’t matter whether he is good or bad, you are just following the same program as mom and dad

Moreover, your partner also projects the relationship of his mother and father onto your relationship.

"Husband and wife, one of Satan"

But the need for love in that coin remained unfinished, so we just need to change the picture in our head from negative to positive and that’s it, the relationship will improve, and you will become a little happier.

Psychologists would NOT want you to know these secrets about yourself

—Imagine this situation...
What if, instead of paying for years for useless consultations with a psychologist, in 21 days you can work with yourself? Get rid of negative thoughts and states forever. And instead live a calm and happy life? Stop living in stress due to relationships or constant lack of money?

Tell me this is impossible?

I thought so too, until I started working with myself

LIVING HAPPY IS EASY

My name is Ivan, I am 35 years old, and I have been practicing psychology for 15 years. I have studied all the basic methods and techniques through which I help people find happiness. NLP, hypnosis, body-image therapy. I was invited on television as an expert.

And it was... just a nightmare!

I lived in a state of depression for 7 years (constant stress exhausted me). I had a lot of low self-confidence (my self-esteem was below 0). I could not calmly communicate with people, it seemed to me that I was not worthy of them.

The relationship did not work out (because I was very negative, jealous, a doormat). I’m generally silent about decent earnings; I earned 15,000 rubles a month and thought that was the limit. I didn’t want to live... Envy.

The worst thing is, I thought I would have to live like this forever, and I don’t deserve love and happiness.

But it only got worse, negative states fell on me like a snowball. It felt like I was sitting in a deep, black hole from which there was no way out. Hopelessness, despair, pain, resentment.

My life has turned into endless torture. But then a miracle happened...

I FOUND THE KEY... EVERYONE HAS IT...

One day my father came home from work, a little drunk, although he never drank much.

He came into the kitchen..., looked at me with a dissatisfied expression and began to say with anger how worthless I was, how I couldn’t do anything, and in general, how sorry he was that he was my father.

At first I felt severe mental pain (this is very painful to hear from my family). Then I got offended (does that mean I’m not a favorite son?!) And then an insight came to me...

I received that magical kick that I had been waiting for all my life. It changed my thinking, my life and my relationships with my environment.

I had already forgiven my father simply because he told me the truth and I was happy about it!

But then the most interesting thing began...

Literally 5 minutes later I was already sitting at the computer and writing out all the psychological (!) methods of working with myself.

I was even confused, because my plans were to continue to suffer all my life.

It was such an incredible feeling of freedom and desire to do something that I burst into tears of happiness.

THE MAIN SECRET OF HAPPINESS

If you think that you cannot change your life, become rich or successful, or create a happy relationship - you are mistaken!

You can change your life by changing your thinking and the main thing is to do it EASILY!

• 5 simple and powerful methods of working with yourself (they work even if you use them incorrectly) - You don’t have to turn to psychologists, you are your own psychologist.

• “The secret method” of working through any negative state. This will allow you to eliminate the negative and switch to the positive in 5 minutes.

• 15 minutes a day - Just 15 minutes a day to change your life 180 degrees. Become happier and more joyful.

• Saving up to 100,000 rubles in 1 year - You will save on trips to a psychologist, and spend the saved money on a vacation by the sea.

• 21 days – It only takes 21 days for you to see changes in your life. You will start smiling. Wake up with joy.

DOWNLOAD THE “GUIDE TO CHANGING YOURSELF” FOR FREE

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PS If you want to say “thank you” to me, just download the guide and start using it every day.

PPS How about becoming happy today? =)

Gestalt therapy

This is one of the types of psychotherapy, founded by F. Perls in the 50s of the last century. The subject of Gestalt therapy is the contact and boundaries within which a person and everything that surrounds him is located. Contact is the solvation of the needs of the individual with the capabilities of the environment. It turns out that a specific need can only be satisfied by making contact with the outside world. (You can quench your thirst if you take water.)

The main technique of such therapy is a game based on dialogue within oneself. The conversation is conducted with one or more parts of one's own personality. In principle, all therapy is aimed at completing some previously abandoned task - gestalt.

The circle of correct gestalt looks like this:

1. A need arises.
2. Ways are being sought to satisfy it.
3. Satisfaction occurs.
4. Contact with the outside world ends.

There are always a number of factors that interfere with the ideal process. If the cycle is not completed, then the person feels exhausted throughout his life and cannot open up to new desires. An incomplete gestalt can cause a serious disruption in the protective properties of the human psyche.

Gestalt psychology and therapy is an opportunity to help “oneself” and find the root causes of internal inconsistencies, to put it briefly. There are a number of exercises aimed at accepting oneself and what lies beyond the real at the same time. They should help you start thinking about yourself and opening up to the world. Find more engaging interactive content developed by leading psychologists on BrainApps. Tests and courses on self-development, over 90 exciting games will allow you to understand your inner experiences even faster and put everything in its place.

Why is it difficult to close the gestalt on your own?

This is the most important question. I have been studying psychology since I was 15 years old, as I myself had a lot of problems in relationships, low self-esteem, resentment towards parents, and so on.

I searched for many techniques to help me free myself from negativity from the past. I worked with myself for 7 years and thought that I was effectively closing gestalts. But I was wrong.

When I started working with my psychologist (yes, yes, psychologists are crazy themselves) I was simply shocked how effective and easy it is to work when you are led, and not with yourself.

Simply put, it is very difficult to independently find the root cause of an unclosed gestalt, which can be hidden even in the prenatal period. You cannot guide yourself deeply. This is the whole huge problem of independent work.

You will simply remove what is on the surface, but you will never remove the root cause (root) yourself.

While working with a psychologist, I realized that you need someone who will control and guide you, guide you, provoke you a little, and then there will be happiness and the immediate effect of a closed gestalt.

Steps to the logical end as a path to freedom

No psychotherapist will help if a person devotes all his free time to mental suffering. Only constant work on one’s own behavior and self-control will be the main step towards liberation:

READ How to survive the stages of separation with dignity: advice from psychologists

1. Changing route and habits. Perception and memory are influenced not only by the image of a person, but also by smells, sounds, music or surroundings. Psychologists recommend not visiting places dear to your heart, so as not to reinforce your emotions.
2. Destruction of "relics". It is advisable to get rid of things and significant gifts in one fell swoop, otherwise trinkets and photographs will remind you of past love.
3. Psychological method “Empty chair”. It is necessary to imagine your ex-partner sitting opposite - and tell him everything that is painful. It is necessary to voice grievances, complaints, talk through critical moments in relationships in order to let go of painful relationships.

If your imagination is tight or it’s difficult to talk to an empty space, you can express yourself in writing. The main task is not to send a message under any circumstances, so as not to provoke a real showdown. By writing down grievances, you can become aware of the existing problems that are preventing you from moving forward.

Wealth, success and unclosed gestalt

A very important topic for our society, most of us want to become rich and successful. But until you close all the gestalts associated with these topics, you shouldn’t even dream about big money.

After all, we get all the information about the world from our environment, right?

Just imagine that your mom and dad told you that money is bad, the rich steal everything, and so on in the same spirit. Do you think it will be easy for you to earn a lot of money, become rich and successful?

Of course not!

Therefore, money gestalts also need to be closed.

The effect of an incomplete gestalt

An unfinished gestalt has an unpleasant effect - you, by all means, want to complete it. This happens due to the peculiarity of our psyche - it does not tolerate things with an “open end”, that is, any effect of incompleteness. So, say, if your parting with your loved one turned out to be crumpled and vague (he just suddenly moved away or disappeared without explanation), then by all means you will want to find out the reason for such an incident - you will persistently seek a meeting with him to ask “why?” . Or you will look for reasons in yourself, they say, they don’t leave good people like that. Or you will start a new relationship, and in them you will try to find an answer to how someone could leave you like that. And if you are zealous, then your new loved one will also leave, which will confirm you in a state of incomplete gestalt. And that's it, collapse.

It’s the same if we take work, for example – you are completing a long-term project, or only part of it, and until this project is completed, you no, no, and even return to it in your thoughts. At the same time, productivity in relation to all other work decreases.

To put it simply, the effect of any unfinished problems is extremely negative - they tie you to the past, to the past, which should have been forgotten long ago, because this does not allow you to move on. That is, roughly speaking, you are simply stuck in a swamp from which you do not want to get out, or even if you want to, the quagmire holds your feet tightly. And so you think how wonderful it is to walk through that clearing nearby, but this is not for you, because you have a quagmire. Well, or you try to walk, but it’s still in the quagmire, and not in the clearing.

conclusions

I don’t know how well I described to you the moments of closing the gestalt because... Now in Moscow there is a sultry heat (07.2021), from which the brain melts.

I want to convey that if you work on your own, try not to expect instant results because... Most likely you will not get to the root of the problem on your own.

The most interesting thing is that if you remove the root of the problem, then all the secondary situations that occurred later are automatically removed.

As an example, let’s take the topic of jealousy; it usually forms 3-4 months from conception in the mother’s womb. And the reason for it is that the father did not want the child and abandoned him. It’s worse if both parents didn’t want the child, there will be a big tangle of problems.

And if you close this gestalt at the very root, then all the situations where you were jealous in life will close themselves. Did you explain it clearly? If not, write in the comments and I will describe it in more detail or even rewrite the article.

What is an incomplete gestalt

The term is taken from the field of psychology and means a holistic image that haunts you relentlessly. This means that there is a certain “figure”, and all other events will be the “background”. Here are some examples:

1. A man appears at an art exhibition whose only interest is in drinking. The figure is a bottle of your favorite drink.
2. Another visitor to the exhibition made a date with his girlfriend in the exhibition hall. It is the girl who turns into a significant figure.
3. The young artist is haunted by an unfinished image - enthusiastic connoisseurs have gathered in front of her painting. Until the goal is achieved, the artist cannot be appeased.

In relationships, the effect is different. Suppose a man dumps a girl, refusing to explain his actions. An abandoned girl has an obsession with meeting her ex-partner and having an honest conversation. Even if the image of her beloved has ceased to haunt her, a random street intersection can become a catalyst. Closing the gestalt in relationships is necessary for our heroine to develop further.

Vdovin Ivan

• More than 15 years in psychology
• Owner of 2 successful businesses
• Developed his own method “Key Therapy”
• Certified NLP Practitioner
• Certified Hypnotherapist
• In practice I use: Gestalt therapy, imagery therapy, body therapy, art therapy, hypnosis, Hellinger constellations
• Helped over 100 clients
• I invested more than 500,000 rubles in my education
• My blog is visited by more than 1500 people per day

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