It’s cold outside, wages aren’t being raised, the subway is crowded again, and the neighbor’s dog is barking too loudly. Yes, we agree, we are surrounded by a lot of irritating factors, and each of us has more than enough reasons for righteous anger.
But maybe we should stop always complaining and being angry and think about how to become an optimist and enjoy life? Judging by the fact that you are reading this material, this is exactly the thought that came to your mind. Did you guess it? Then catch tips that will help your glass stop being half empty and turn into almost full.
Eliminate or minimize sources of negativity
What/who you deal with during the day has a big impact on your thoughts and emotions. Think about it: what are the main sources of negativity in your life?
This could be one of your loved ones, classmates or fellow students. Websites or communities on social networks that you often visit, movies, TV series, music... These could even be your friends - and it doesn’t have to be that they will be bad people. Perhaps they simply suck all the life juice out of you and those around you with their hopeless pessimism, eventually infecting you with the same.
Think about which of these you can say goodbye to forever, and which of which you can reduce contact to a minimum. Clear out as much of your time as possible, and devote the resulting surplus to what gives you joy.
Magic transformations
This is perhaps one of the main skills that any aspiring optimist should learn. There are two options for transformations - and both change the surrounding reality beyond recognition.
Option 1 - when what you want turns into something completely unnecessary. Remember Krylov's fable about the fox and the grapes? The fox, who was unable to get to the grapes, consoles himself with the fact that they are probably not tasty at all. The correct approach is optimistic: what is inaccessible to us for some reason should not be so attractive as to spoil our mood and occupy all our thoughts.
Practice. You stood in line for forty minutes for movie tickets with your child, but they ran out right in front of you. You are given exactly two minutes to look with envy and hatred after the lucky owner of the last ticket and think about why you were so unlucky. Immediately after this, you have to remember that the theater is stuffy (with such a crowd of people), and the film is not that good to spend two hours on. Smile and cheerfully tell your child about all the disadvantages of the event you planned and did not take place (a prerequisite is that the facial expression must confirm your words).
2nd option - when the inevitable turns into the desired. You find the positives in the situation and voice your discovery to the child. Ideally, this should be done quickly, almost automatically (this will require very little training).
Practice. Has your car broken down? It’s great - because you can walk and see all the delights of fading (or blooming - depending on the time of year) nature, ride on a swing and meet various friends along the way. Are you waiting for someone and just can’t wait? Great - it's time to play his favorite game with your child.
Positive sides of pessimism
Although pessimistic individuals constantly experience negative emotions, look sadly at the world around them, etc., they have an important positive quality - an understanding of reality. Pessimism and realism are two concepts that are closely related.
People who analyze everything around them, even from the negative side, are able to adequately assess any situation. Scientists conducted a study on this topic, which showed that a person with a pessimistic attitude has a high level of intelligence, so he can take control of what is happening
Pessimism and realism are two concepts that are closely related. People who analyze everything around them, even from the negative side, are able to adequately assess any situation. Scientists conducted a study on this topic, which showed that a person with a pessimistic attitude has a high level of intelligence, so he can take control of what is happening.
How to become an optimist - advice from a psychologist
As has been noted, people are not born optimists. This is work and self-education. There are several ways to learn calmness, trust in life and positive thinking.
- Try to forgive. Both yourself and others. First of all, it will be useful for you. After all, when we constantly live with resentment, this feeling is absorbed into us. To such an extent that it influences our perception of the world. Let go. Then the past will not put pressure on you, which means you will be able to look positively at the present.
- Accept that life is difficult. Do optimists not lose hope or become depressed due to difficulties? Precisely because they understand that life is hard. But it’s not always hard, and there is enough beauty in the world to continue to love her, this life.
- Don't be swayed by the opinions of others. No matter what people say, you are the one who knows what is best for you and what you are capable of. If you feel you can do it, don't let others convince you otherwise.
- Happiness does not come from material goods. Of course, it’s difficult to feel good when you don’t have enough money at all. But if you are not in poverty, try not to focus on finances. There are always those who have more, and the path to wealth is endless. Look at the world not through a material prism, but through feelings.
- Think positively, optimistically. Just think. In what tones does the monologue take place in your head? If negative thoughts predominate, these are worth working on. Try to stop bad reasoning, and if it persistently haunts you, look for a counterargument.
- Look for the positives in your life. Just take a closer look at how you live. There are bound to be a few good things to be grateful for. Hold on to them when it seems to you that everything is bad.
- Don't try to change everything at once. Often people lose faith in themselves when they try to influence their whole life at once, and then realize that this is impossible. Pick a few areas in which you want to make changes in the near future and work on them. This will make you feel like you can influence parts of your life and it will give you confidence. And that means a positive attitude in the future.
- Smile. Our brain associates smiling with joy. And if you smile, you can really feel better.
- Try to lead a healthy lifestyle. In fact, our well-being is closely related to the comfort of our body. And if it receives enough physical activity, but also has time for rest, the positive attitude will increase.
- Cultivate optimism in yourself. At first it will be difficult to think positively, but the more often you lean towards this form of thinking, the easier it will be for you. Until it becomes the first reaction to the problem.
- Speak positively. Come up with a phrase for yourself to get into a positive mood. For example: “Everything is fine with me.”, “Everything will work out.” This is, first of all, a good belief for yourself. It will allow you to calm down and tune in to the desired wave.
- Hang out with cheerful people. It would be great if you had an optimist around you. After all, what surrounds us fills us.
- Do what you like. It is often difficult for a modern person to find time to sleep, wherever he or she loves to do. But on the other hand: how to think positively if you are stressed all the time? Allow yourself to relax at least sometimes and do what you want. The main thing here is pleasure.
Optimism is a strategy. Thoughts attract results. The main battles are won in the head, long before they begin. If you build a plan of action based on the belief in success, the chances that it will be crowned with success itself increase.
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A little about pessimism and optimism
Before research, pessimism and optimism existed as philosophical concepts. Among the prominent representatives of the philosophy of pessimism are Hartmann and Schopenhauer; according to them, the world is not just bad, but even hopeless. Pessimists often discuss the meaning of life. What is the point of birth if life ends in death anyway? Why is the world filled with evil and suffering?
As a rule, as a result of such discussions, pessimists come to the conclusion that the world is inherently vicious, and humanity is unable to change anything and will never change anything. However, most people with such views are no different from others; they also create families and go to work.
Despite such popular “pessimistic” ideas, optimism also has well-known representatives. As a rule, in philosophy, a positive worldview is associated with Gottfried Leibniz, who believes that humanity lives in the best of all worlds.
A little humor: there are two children in the family: an optimist and a pessimist. For the New Year, their parents prepared gifts for them: a toy horse on wheels for the pessimist, and a pile of fresh horse manure for the optimist. The children woke up in the morning... Pessimist: “Well, the horse... uh... small, but I wanted a big one... completely white... and I wanted apples... uh... wooden, but I wanted a live one...” Optimist: “But I have alive!!! I just went out for a walk!”
