Let's get acquainted with the concept
The concept of “pattern” is found in physics, computer science, design, music and psychology. Translated from English it means “template, “model”. In relation to psychology, a pattern can be briefly defined as a paradigm of behavior characteristic of a person in certain circumstances. This model works automatically, involuntarily, in the process of human interaction with the outside world. Patterns can be found everywhere: washing your face in the morning, shaking hands when meeting, eating an apple, answering the phone, etc.
Even a beloved pet who sees its owner putting on a jacket and boots is already internally preparing for a walk. You say this is a conditioned reflex? And you will be wrong. A pattern in psychology is deeper than instinct or reflex. This is a certain program embedded in a person’s brain, according to which he lives and communicates with others.
Why is it important to pay attention to your own and others' patterns?
As a rule, on a conscious level, such patterns may seem irrational even to their owner, but on the subconscious, a person can repeat the same path over and over again - because this is his comfort zone. That is why pattern analysis will help you understand how to behave with a particular person and how he will act in different situations. Moreover, this analysis (if it is carried out qualitatively) will be more revealing than words and even intentions, because in words a person can deny (including simply not recognize) such characteristics and even seem to try to act differently, but if this pattern for he is comfortable psychologically, no active changes will actually follow. One eloquent example is the behavior model of the eternal victim.
However, such behavior patterns can be used not only for analyzing others. There is another side to the use of patterns in psychology, which is sometimes resorted to in NLP, schools of success, etc. Knowing the pattern of behavior in which several people achieved success, you can repeat it to achieve success yourself. For example, you can copy some patterns that seem positive to you, which, in your opinion, will improve your character, make you stronger and more harmonious, allow you to achieve certain goals, etc. However, remember that changing the pattern is often not so easy, because some of these patterns are literally an extension of your personality.
Pattern properties
- Pattern is a stable category. It is easy to recognize because it is often repeated. As a rule, an unconsciously created behavior algorithm is rare and difficult to correct.
- The pattern can appear in whole or in part. In the latter case, experts call it a code. For example, when a person hears the name of a person he knows or the name of a vacation spot where he has been, he is overwhelmed by memories and emotions associated with them. So, when the code is spoken, the entire pattern is launched.
- Psychological patterns do not exist separately from each other. There is an innate pattern - a starting point. Others are layered on top of it. They combine with stereotypes and habits, shaping a person’s character and lifestyle.
- A person is constantly developing, accumulating experience, and self-improving. The pattern is transformed accordingly. What it is? For example, a person has become accustomed to isolation since childhood, but socialization is inevitable. He understands that for a harmonious life in society you need to make acquaintances, be able to conduct a dialogue with people, and be reciprocal. As new “skills” are mastered, a shift in behavior patterns occurs. However, some habits of the “old model” may still be active.
Social and individual patterns
Social patterns are patterns of behavior of people in society. In other words, these are certain actions that are repeated under certain circumstances. These include a handshake when meeting or a nod of the head, a wave of the hand when parting, etc. These examples, on the one hand, demonstrate typical patterns of behavior of any person in society, on the other hand, they speak about cultural experience. For example, in Japan, a common social pattern is to bow when meeting someone you know or respect.
Individual patterns, as a rule, include a person’s personal habits and preferences. Examples include the preference to start breakfast with a sip of tea or a bite of bread, putting on socks first, then trousers or a blouse, then a skirt.
How do they work?
People tend to create patterns of behavior, so they formulate specific ways of communicating with the outside world. Why invent new behavioral patterns every time, if it’s easier to use ready-made ones.
This applies to all patterns:
- behavioral;
- thinking;
- linguistic;
- communicative.
Patterns of behavior are developed through education, development and observation of others. This process occurs most actively in childhood. Children see what patterns of behavior those around them use in certain situations, and they borrow or do not borrow these models.
Photo by Andrew Seaman on Unsplash
This process of human mastery of patterns of behavior, social norms and values, convenient and effective, people inherited from previous generations, with the help of which they survived.
Why do they say that it is necessary to educate children by example? Because children adopt behavioral patterns practically without changing them, that is, they copy.
As children grow older, their behavioral patterns become more complex and are adopted less noticeably and less frequently; patterns are modeled to suit the child’s character, his other behavioral patterns, etc.
Father and son tying a tie
For example, when a girl chooses her future husband, she needs to look at how the chosen one treats his mother. The whole point is that some time after living together as a family, the stage of falling in love passes and men often begin to apply similar behavioral patterns to their wives that they previously applied to their mothers.
In general, “whoever you behave with, you will gain from,” the main thing to remember is that no one is deprived of the choice to “acquire” good or bad examples, it all depends on the person himself and his environment.
Congenital and acquired patterns
Hereditary patterns are those behavioral characteristics that a person receives in the first minutes of his life. This is a genetic program that works at the level of instincts and reflexes. The innate pattern is given to a person by nature. This model comes in many forms. For example, the nutritional form is manifested in the process of sucking in an infant. Acquired patterns of behavior are the subsequent development of a person, his learning, the formation of worldview, habits, way of thinking, etc.
Sometimes there is confusion between innate and acquired patterns. So, when a child, just like one of the parents, performs some operation in a certain way, they talk about genetic similarity. In fact, this is just the result of imitation.
Behavior patterns
Behavior patterns are mechanical reactions to a certain type of event or circumstance.
Negative beliefs can be in a “dormant” state until an event occurs that triggers the belief mechanism. Such an event is called a trigger event. It triggers a negative reaction that causes stress and internal discomfort.
Approximately 92% of the events in your life are repeating events. Only the details change, but the behavior patterns remain constant.
And if you have an inadequate reaction to a certain type of event that causes an excessive feeling of resentment or aggression, then this reaction will “take off automatically” at every opportunity when the external situation corresponds to the usual pattern.
More often than not, you don’t even realize how exactly you come to a negative conclusion in a given situation. What exactly is causing you to experience excessive stress?
If you are not aware of the mental chain of conclusions that lead to stress, you will only see the connection: event - reaction . And you won't be able to change its outcome.
Positive and Negative Patterns
When a person has difficulties interacting with the outside world, he turns to a psychologist for help. After pouring out his soul and going through a series of tests, the patient often hears from a specialist: “this is your negative pattern.” What it is? The fact is that not all of our habits and ways of moving in society can be comfortable. Some behavioral patterns openly interfere with a person's life. There are people who are terrified of difficulties and therefore avoid them in every possible way. Others, on the contrary, are obsessed with the search for difficulties to the point of fanaticism, and ultimately face unpleasant consequences. All these are negative patterns that interfere with life and accumulate negative experiences. It is possible and necessary to combat such patterns, but sometimes it can be difficult. It is much easier to change something when the cause of all problems is clearly visible and understandable and the internal potential is adequately assessed.
Comfortable patterns are those patterns of behavior that help a person develop harmoniously and overcome obstacles. Their range extends from basic washing and shaking hands to the ability to compromise and friendliness.
What behavior patterns tell us about us and how to use them
The following point is of particular interest: knowing how a certain person behaved in certain situations, what patterns of behavior he has, you will be able to determine his actions and actions in similar situations
.
True, before drawing conclusions, it is necessary to thoroughly study the personality itself and its behavioral patterns. The simplest example is if your friend easily makes promises left and right, but has not yet fulfilled any (or at least few), what is the chance that he will do what he promises you? The same applies to acquaintances who always borrow and do not repay their debts. If patterns developed in childhood change, they do so with difficulty.
That is why a girl choosing a groom should pay attention to his attitude towards his mother. The fact is that several years after marriage, when the stage of falling in love has passed, men often (but not always) display the same behavioral algorithms towards their spouse that they developed towards their mother. It is also important that, as a rule, for close communication we choose people with similar behavior patterns
. That's why they say about some girls that they, for example, have a talent for finding scoundrels. In fact, such ladies are simply looking for a person who fits the implementation of their pattern. And, apparently, in this case we are dealing with a model of behavior in which a man must deceive a woman, disrespect her, he is a king - she is a nobody, and so on. In the same way, it is not a man who is “lucky” with overly flighty girlfriends, but he subconsciously looks for cheating girls. And when one of them leaves him, he will look for another - with the same behavior that fits his psychological pattern. Although at the level of consciousness it may seem to him that he will not be caught again and the next lady of his heart will be completely different.
Communication patterns
Since man is a social creature, his communication patterns are most developed. They can be determined in the reaction of facial expressions, the system of gestures, and elements of vocalization. It is quite obvious that when good news is announced, a person smiles, while bad news, he frowns. When a person is angry, he stomps his feet. When asking another person to hand over an object, he uses a pointing gesture. Even blind and deaf-mute children implement similar communication patterns without the possibility of imitating the model.
Is it possible to change the pattern?
Patterns of behavior are the basis of a person. They are very stable, so it is very difficult to change them or even get rid of them altogether. However, you can control the pattern. What it is? For example, a person develops some kind of phobia. He turns to a specialist for help. He, in turn, offers him a certain algorithm of actions, by performing which the patient learns to control his fears. He is not able to get rid of them forever, but he can change his “positions of power.”
The greatest interest is generated by experiments in replacing patterns with opposite ones. There is a known case when an introverted woman came to the famous psychotherapist Milton Erickson asking him to help her become a more open and friendly person. Based on the patient’s hobby—flower growing—Erickson advised her to purchase 200 pots of violets and care for them. As the sprouts began to take root, the woman was supposed to send a pot to friends and strangers on their birthday, engagement, wedding, or to someone who was sick. Caring for two hundred violets distracted the woman from her depressive thoughts, and she soon became the “queen of violets” in her state. From a withdrawn person prone to severe depression, this woman turned into a desirable, open and friendly person.
