Infantility: what is it in psychology, types and causes

Infantility is a stable personality characteristic, a complex of external and internal signs indicating the immaturity of the individual. Infantilism is personal immaturity. An infantile person is distinguished by childishness in actions, judgments, reactions, and appearance. We are talking about both a physical lag of one or two stages of age development, and a psychological one. If both occur, then this is harmonious infantilism.

Few people understand that infantilism is a psychological problem; more often, infantilism is mistaken for a feature of character and personality. As a rule, infantile people look much younger than their age and are characterized by increased emotionality, naivety, and capriciousness. Now let’s look in more detail at what infantilism and infantilism are in psychology in simple words, and also define the signs of infantilism and the causes of infantilism. Let's start by analyzing the meaning of the words “infantility” and “infantilism”.

What is infantility

What does infantility mean? Let's give a definition. The name is derived from the Latin word infantilis, which means “childish”. The term infantilism is derived from the same word. That is, infantilism and infantilism are mental and/or physical underdevelopment of the individual. For example, a person may be 30 years old, but he looks like he’s 20, but talks like he’s 12. His clothes, hairstyle, interests, preferences in music, timbre of voice, entertainment, social circle, etc. all hint that the age in the passport is not corresponds to the psychological age of a person. Such people are called infantes.

Often in psychology the terms infantilism and infantilism are equated, but there is still a slight difference between them. Infantilism refers to the phenomenon of childishness as such, and the word infantilism is used in relation to a specific person, action, judgment, etc. According to another theory, infantilism is a popular interpretation of the professional term “infantilism”, that is, there is no difference in the essence of the concepts at all. Later in the article we will consider these terms as synonyms.

Note! Developmental delays may be noticeable on one or both levels: physical and psychological.

Where does it come from

Infantility is the result of destructive upbringing in the family. Let's look at parenting models that lead to infantilism:

Overprotection. Parents decide everything for the child, protect them from any life problems and difficulties. As a result, a person turns out to be unprepared for adult life. He does not have developed self-care skills, he cannot take care of himself, feed himself, provide housing, resolve some everyday issues in public service institutions, etc. Sometimes it gets to the point that a person, for example, cannot make an appointment with a doctor and go to the hospital.
"Idol of the family." The child's every whim is satisfied, he is worshiped, his parents sacrifice themselves for him. Growing up, a person is faced with a harsh reality: those around him are not ready to worship him just as thoughtlessly. But the man himself remains that capricious child, which is why he has problems in his life.
Authoritarianism. Parents suppress the child, ignore his desires and needs, and are not interested in his opinion. The result is the same as with overprotection - the child gets used to having everything decided for him and grows up with this attitude. The difference is that with overprotection, the subject more often remains attached to his parents, and with an authoritarian parenting style, he leaves his parents and enters into other codependent relationships, where he is again suppressed and humiliated.
Permissive style. Parents are not at all interested in the child’s life and do not prepare him for an independent adult life. It develops according to the principle “whatever grows, grows.” But the result here is not so clear. Some children, left to their own devices, on the contrary, grow up early. Especially in cases where they have to take care of younger brothers and sisters. However, it also happens that a person grows up, but remains on the psychological level as that same wandering child who “sticks” first to one person and then to another.

Thus, the foundations of infantilism are laid in childhood. It's all about the pedagogical mistakes of parents. They do not want to let their child go because of personal fears, unprocessed traumas and other psychological problems. How to tie a child to yourself forever? Make him an infant, dependent on his parents.

Interesting! Children with infantile parents often, on the contrary, mature early. They have to take on the role of a parent and be responsible for their moms and dads. This model is also incorrect and carries its own risks, but this is a topic for another article.

What is infantility in women?

What does an infantile woman mean? This is a woman who takes the position of a child in a relationship. The worst thing is that female infantilism is actively imposed by fashion.

A huge number of public pages, fashion magazines and television shows broadcast: “A woman should not be the leader in a couple, her task is to be beautiful and inspire a man. Only a man owes and is obliged, but a woman owes nothing to anyone...”

Reluctance to take responsibility, the desire to transfer the entire burden of responsibilities to a partner, groundless whims and demands - these are the main features of an infantile woman. The main desire of such a girl is to get married successfully and not worry about anything.

The main motto is “Behind your husband, like behind a stone wall.” In the Czech Republic there is even a separate term for them: “gold diggers”.

Infantility in women in relationships manifests itself in different ways. An infantile mother will take care of her child all her life, providing him with coziness and comfort. All her actions are aimed at ensuring that the child cannot exist separately.

As a result, there are men over 30 who cannot take a single step without their mother’s advice. Such men rarely arrange their lives, because their mother will not like anyone. She will not give the little blood to anyone, because everyone around is evil and selfish and is not worthy of her mother’s joy. There is a hidden intention in this - to make the child dependent, in order to subsequently shift your problems onto him and with his help provide yourself with maximum comfort.

The second option for an infantile mother is to shift responsibility onto the child. Often this is a mother-friend relationship. She puts her adult problems on the child, which is why the child cannot bear such a burden of responsibility and feels guilty.

As a result, the child also remains with her forever, because he cannot leave “poor mummy.” A painful sense of guilt forces such a child to fulfill all her whims until the mother’s death.

In marriage, infantile women rely only on their man. He owes her everything - to earn money, to help around the house, and to read her thoughts when she doesn’t like something. If you are a man, then life with an infantile woman is a continuous “You must!” She doesn’t have her own responsibilities because she’s a woman and that’s all.

Causes

Infantility is a consequence of a failure in the separation of a child from his parents. Normally, separation begins when the child is one year old. Until a child is one year old, they are not even considered as a separate unit; in psychology it is customary to talk about a single organism - the dyad “mother and child”. Until one year of age, a child needs unity with his mother or another adult. This is how a sense of security and trust in the world is established. However, after a year, it is important to gradually give the child freedom.

At three years old, the child for the first time clearly expresses his desire to separate - the crisis of three years, or “I myself.” In adolescence, with normal development, the subject tries with all his might to get out of parental care and supervision. However, if a failure has already occurred at the previous stages, then the teenager may not try to separate from his parents.

In some cases, infantilism develops later - in adolescence or adolescence, and sometimes in early youth. This is due to the fear of life. A person perceives the world as dangerous and hostile, unpredictable, so he unconsciously decides not to grow up. If stuckness occurs in adolescence or young adulthood, then the cause of infantilism lies not in the costs of family upbringing, but in the psychological trauma received at the age where the stoppage occurred.

If we consider infantilism as a social phenomenon (some experts call infantilism a disease of modern youth), then we can identify the following factors in the emergence of infantilism:

destruction of the family institution;
loss of authority of the older generation;
the fashion for eternal youth and the fear of old age due to the negative attitude of society towards old people;
changing values (more and more people are focused on individualization and endless consumption);
economic and social vulnerability of young people (costs of state policy);
unstable situation in society;
lack of motivation to grow up (even an immature person can now find a job, friends, and many parents are ready to support their child both during the period of long education and after it).

Note! Infantile people are children who, for some reason, were unable to separate from their parents in time (according to developmental norms).

Infantility in men. Signs of behavior

The most important negative trait is not following agreements . For such a person there is no concept of personal responsibility, and it is clear, because there is a mother who decides everything for me. And I can refuse any agreements and nothing will happen to me for it. It really won’t happen, you are constantly angry with such people because they behave irresponsibly, but this is all useless, since they cannot be changed if they themselves do not want to change.
Shifting responsibility for your life to others. Everyone is to blame for everything except himself. Of course, it’s easier to blame the government for all your ills, rather than strive to develop and make the world a little better. Why, because everyone owes me.
Everyone owes me. Another common problem among infantile people. Most likely, it is due to the fact that the child lives alone in the family and receives full attention from the parents; this is a kind of spoiledness or something.
Dependence on parents. Why work if my parents fully provide, buy toys and always want to pamper me, just to make me a little happy. Yes, such people at 50-60 also sit on their parents’ necks. They live on pensions. Sadly.
Cannot take responsibility for family and friends . Infantile men are too afraid of responsibility, so if his girlfriend gets pregnant, he immediately leaves her and leaves, without feeling any guilt or conscience. Because he cannot take responsibility for his actions and actions. And then the girl raises her child alone and is more likely to become an infant.

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Signs of infantilism

The main, main sign of infantilism is living in your own world. It’s as if a person is in a shell that protects him from the outside, adult world.

Other signs of infantility in men and women (symptoms):

Fear of responsibility and unwillingness to work. A man or woman either sits on his partner’s neck, or continues to live at the expense of his parents and cannot build a personal life. If two infants meet, then they do not consider it anything shameful to “milk” their parents together on one or both sides.
Violation of agreements, failure to fulfill promises. The infant will not even come up with excuses, he will simply say: “I changed my mind.” Or he will use a childish one: “I forgot,” “My stomach hurts,” etc.
Shifting responsibility for your life to other people. An infantile person blames other people, fate, circumstances, power, the whole world for all his troubles.
Dependence on someone. Usually this is either a parent, or an adequately developing, psychologically mature partner, friend.
Reluctance to make serious decisions and think about the future. An infantile person lives one day at a time, has fun, has fun. He does not want to build a career, start a family and have children; he does not think about the need to purchase housing or save money. He runs away from the problems of adult life in every possible way.
Escaping reality. Running away from adult life, infants often find themselves not only hostage to dependent relationships, but also become addicted to games, communication on social networks, alcohol, drugs, food, etc.
Egocentrism. Like all children, the infant craves attention and gifts. He expects those around him to cooze with him, give him their best, and talk only about him. Most infantile people tend to pull the blanket over themselves.
Inability to admit your mistakes and your own shortcomings. Just as an infant runs away from reality, so an infantile person runs away from an honest conversation with himself.
Inability to set goals and achieve them. Infants are guided by momentary desires and impulses. They do not know how to predict the development of a situation, build a hierarchy of motives, or set priorities.
Naivety. An infantile person lacks pragmatism and rationality. He does not know how to compete in healthy ways, defend his opinion, or fight for personal happiness and success. He simply will not survive in the adult world if he is left to his own devices.

Important! An infantile person does not know how to take responsibility for his own life, and certainly cannot take care of someone else.

Infantility: what does it mean, signs

Infantility has become a sign of the times. Expressions are becoming popular on the Internet that the first forty years in a boy’s life are the hardest, memes with the captions: “I’m tired of being an adult for the rest of my life” or “Adulthood is hard. I choose the wine."

Large corporations set up gaming spaces in their offices. Travel companies sell vouchers to summer camps for adults. And products that help take a break from adult life, such as computer consoles, hydro scooters, unicycles, quadcopters and others, are actively bought by people who have lived for decades.

Kinds

In addition to psychological trauma and costs in family education, brain damage and mental disorders lead to the development of infantility. Thus, infantilism can be congenital and acquired. On the basis of this, in psychiatry and psychology it is customary to distinguish the following types of infantilism:

Organic. Infantilism, as one of the manifestations of delayed mental development, is associated with damage to the central nervous system, for example, as a result of infections, intoxications, injuries.
Somatogenically caused infantilism. It occurs due to hormonal imbalances and damage to internal organs.
Psychogenically caused, or psychological infantilism. Arises due to costs in family education.

In addition, there are two more types of infantilism: total and partial infantilism. But we will talk in more detail about the characteristic manifestations of these types of infantilism in the next paragraph, highlighting particular forms of infantilism.

Forms of infantilism

Infantilism can manifest itself in only one area of life. Let's look at it with an example. A person is an excellent specialist, provides himself well, but at the same time he cannot build a personal life and is not able to make long-term plans, for example, about purchasing his own home. He spends everything he earns on entertainment, trinkets, clothes, etc.

Many people are distinguished by legal or financial infantilism, but at the same time they reason in a completely adult way in any other issues. Therefore, in psychology it is customary to distinguish several forms of infantilism.

Forms of infantilism:

Psychological or socio-emotional infantilism. We are talking about underdevelopment of the emotional-volitional sphere. A person’s actions, judgments, reactions, and behavior do not correspond to the age norm. Usually, getting stuck occurs in adolescence, that is, a person is prone to aggression, is categorical and hot-tempered, impulsive, and unstable. He does not want to learn, work, develop. He wants to spend time carefree, living life.
Social infantilism, or everyday. A person cannot go to the store on his own, cook his own food, or keep his apartment clean. In fact, problems often arise with finding an apartment, renting housing and paying for it. In addition, a person has difficulties entering society. Forms of manifestation of problems: isolation and self-isolation, communication with virtual friends, communication with people who are much younger in age.
Legal infantilism. This is ignorance of one’s rights and responsibilities, an inability to fight for one’s rights. Some infantas break the law, ignore the public and unspoken rules of life in society and the state. Other people cannot get what they are legally entitled to. For example, many young mothers do not know what payments they are entitled to from the state or employer.
Physiological infantilism. The man looks younger than his years. Often infantile people look like teenagers. For example, women are stuck in the body of a teenage girl without distinct secondary sexual characteristics.

Important! Infantilism should not be confused with a deviation or developmental delay. Infants do not suffer from intellectual development; they have problems in the emotional-volitional sphere.

Examples

Infantilism is the scourge of our time. Some psychologists believe that mild infantilism occurs in the majority of representatives of the modern generation aged 20-30 years. You may not have noticed how often you come across infantas.

Here are just some examples of immaturity:

You are trying to talk to a friend to resolve a conflict. Problem: he is offended by you for something. You ask questions to understand what exactly your words or actions affected his feelings, try to see the situation through his eyes and explain your point of view. What's the answer? Screaming, insults, leaving with the door slammed, tears, etc. - no constructive criticism, calm discussion, rational solution to the problem through the exchange of arguments and consideration of facts.
Quarrel in the family: the wife was offended and threw a tantrum because her husband refuses to take her on vacation, buy her fifth boots this month, take her to a cafe, etc. Why does he refuse? Because you need to pay off your mortgage. The wife does not understand this and continues to shout: “I want it! Buy it! You do not love me! Earn more! She behaves like a spoiled child who does not understand the value of money and is guided only by her personal immediate desires.
A man in his 30s still lives with his parents. He works, but spends everything he earns on entertainment. He doesn’t buy groceries, he doesn’t buy clothes for himself, and he doesn’t help pay for utilities. Or this option: a man has been living with his parents for 30 years, does not work and does not even try to find a job, lives at the expense of his mother and father, and regularly demands money from them for entertainment.
A couple, a man and a woman, both about 30 years old. They live separately from their parents, both work, were able to buy housing themselves, and support themselves. What is the problem? They live one day at a time, have no savings, don’t think about the future, behave and look like teenagers. They do not know how to plan expenses or set priorities.

Examples can be given endlessly. Infantility manifests itself both in everyday little things, for example, when one person, afraid of a serious conversation, avoids another person, and in something more serious. Two examples of immaturity of different scales: leaving a pregnant girlfriend and breaking something at a friend’s house, but not telling about it. Two completely different, but infantile stories.

What is infantility in men?

Who is an infantile man? A man-child, he rarely starts a family, preferring to sit on his parents’ necks. Such a man will not take responsibility, he lives one day at a time. In relationships, these are capricious individuals who need to be cherished and cherished.

This behavior is often passed on from parents and further by inheritance. Mother's overprotection gives birth to an immature man-boy or prince. Having a relationship with them means taking on the role of a mother. And the care of mothers is simply inadequate.

One blogger, after a relationship with such a man, said that her hysterical and capricious young man often surprised her with his behavior. But after meeting his parents, she understood why he behaved this way when his mother combed his hair and began tying his shoelaces.