Why does crying affect us so much?
Most workplaces have long been dominated by men, and open feelings are frowned upon among them. A woman who was tacitly allowed by society to be angry and cry was perceived among them as overly emotional and thereby interfering with the process. This is partly why people prefer to hide their emotions, girls included. There are enough problems as it is, what was not enough was for your boss or other important person to think of you as a hysterical person.
Life coach Ben Edwards partly agrees with this: according to him, crying is akin to a “white flag” - this is how we let the interlocutor know that we are not ready to perceive information. The author of the book Like She Owns The Place, Kara Alville Leiba, agrees with the coach.
When we pay too much attention to emotions in the workplace, we become less focused on actually solving the problem. It is important to create space between the work and personal spheres so as not to take some things too seriously.
– she emphasizes.
By crying, a person attracts attention and makes it clear: “There is something wrong with me now, and I am not ready to talk about it.” In some situations, you will have to extinguish this state - we will tell you exactly how.
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Freshly chopped onions - a method proven over the years
Technically, tears are nothing more than one of the bodily fluids of the body. They serve to lubricate the eyes and cleanse them from external influences. Tear production may have nothing to do with the expression of emotions. Therefore, means that cause tears are banal to the extreme.
Here are working techniques that absolutely everyone can repeat:
- If you look at one point for a long time without blinking, your eye will dry out due to lack of moisture. Therefore, tears will naturally appear in your eyes. For example, try this exercise. Raise your index finger about 15 cm from your eyes and concentrate your gaze on it. At the same time, exhale slowly. After several repetitions, a burning sensation should appear in the eyes, and then tears.
- You can simply touch your eyeball with your finger. Such eye irritation will “not be forgiven”, and literally in a second the question of how to cause tears will no longer worry you. Do not forget about basic hygiene rules and do this only with clean hands.
- Try yawning with your mouth wide open and your throat muscles tense. Deep yawning promotes the natural appearance of tears.
- Strong wind can also irritate the eyes and cause tears. You can use a fan or simply have someone blow hard on you.
- Finally, an effective way is painful sensations. Try plucking a hair from your eyebrow. Or pinch yourself on a sensitive area of your body, such as the tip of your nose. By doing this, you will irritate the nerve center in your brain, which is responsible for the process of tear production.
Tear production is a physiological process that helps cleanse and lubricate the surface of the eye.
But tears can also appear against the background of various emotional and psychological events (joyful or sad).
Physiological and emotional tears differ in composition: in the second case, they contain substances that bring the nervous system to a normal state.
Such compounds are produced precisely in moments of excessive sadness or happiness and help restore emotional balance.
In some cases, tears need to be intentionally caused.
In the past, this technique was often used by artists - from little-known to real stars. It’s enough to hold your face over a freshly chopped onion and the tears will flow.
If you need to induce tears unnoticed, chop the onion very finely, or better yet, crush it to a pulp. Hide the resulting mass in a small bottle. Hide it in your palm, and when necessary, bring it to your eyes and nose.
Just remember that your interlocutor can also smell a strong smell.
- Practice breathing techniques.
- Pinch yourself to distract yourself.
- Tighten your muscle tissue, this will make you feel more confident.
- Drink a cooling drink or cold water.
- Avoid unpleasant moments.
- Pay attention to your thoughts and focus only on the positive ones.
- Look away and look at an object until you become calm.
- Get rid of a lump in your throat by drinking water.
- Read positive books.
- Listen to music that suits your mood.
- Make plans for the future.
- Talk to yourself.
- Allow yourself to cry if no one can see you.
Now pay special attention to sadness. Think about what makes you sad. Remember a moment in your own life when you felt like crying. How old were you then? Immerse yourself in this moment. Remember. Become a child. Maybe you didn’t cry then, but now you can... Now everything is possible. At first, just feeling the moisture in your eyes is enough.
Play this theater every day for at least 20 minutes. Either way, it won't be a waste of time! Gradually you become aware of the connection between your body and emotions. This is self-development, the path to mastery.
Look at the ceiling
The method is not the most effective, but it will work for weak crying. At the moment when necessary, you can raise your head, thereby stopping the flow of tears, and then go into a room where no one will stop you from finally coming to your senses.
Pinch yourself
Try biting your tongue lightly or pinching the area between your thumb and forefinger - this will shift your attention from your tears to the source of the pain.
What is important is how our physiology works in this case. Changing the topic, what we think about the problem, even body movements will help change the emotional state. Attempts to reach the brain will distract us from the original topic, allow us to relieve tension and start a conversation in a new, but productive way.
says Edwards.
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Take a break
The methods listed below are suitable for stopping panic attacks, but they will also come in handy here. Try to distract your brain, but not with pain, but with thoughts. Scroll in your head which streets you usually take to get to work, say a phrase to yourself that reminds you of something good. You can maintain a small talk with your loved one over the phone to shift your attention to reality.
How to hold back tears when you want to cry from resentment during a conversation?
Sometimes it is very difficult to hold back tears, and there are even situations when it seems that it is simply impossible to do so. In this case, psychologists have several ways that you can use to take control of the situation.
Psychologists recommend:
- Switch attention
To do this, you can use some questions that will definitely make you take your mind off crying. These are questions like “is my stove turned off?”, or “is my apartment locked?”
You can remember the multiplication table, the lyrics of your favorite song, or the password for something important to you.
You can also switch your attention in another way, by turning your gaze to some object. It is advisable that the object of your attention has many small details that should be closely examined, counted, etc.
The girl looks into the distance
- Use your imagination
To do this, you can imagine the person who offended you in a bizarre image. The most important thing here is not to laugh, otherwise you can harm yourself even more in an already tense situation.
- Pinch yourself or bite your lip
Physical sensations that you will definitely focus on, for example, while pinching your wrist, can also help your emotions recede.
- Focus on breathing or hold it altogether
To do this, you need to slowly and deeply inhale through your nose and exhale for a long time through your mouth, concentrating on the process itself. Also, during an emergency, the human body itself is capable of getting rid of unimportant matters, so you can simply hold your breath.
Deep breathing helps relieve tension during times of stress and avoid tears
- Drink water
If possible, you should drink water, concentrating on the process itself. You need to drink slowly, in small sips.
- Make sudden movements
Sudden movements always help relieve tension, so you can try to stand up quickly, sit down quickly, open a window, push in a chair, etc. If it is not possible to make sudden movements, then you can simply try to suddenly change your position, straighten your shoulders, raise your head, while concentrating on your breathing.
- Avoid direct views of third parties
Any, even a small glance of sympathy in your direction can cause a rapid flow of tears, so you should avoid such glances in every possible way. There is no need to look at anyone, it is better to look out the window, at a picture, etc.
- Use a pen or phone
If the situation and conditions allow, then in a critical situation you can start writing something pleasant on a piece of paper. This will give you the opportunity to take your mind off a stressful situation.
You can also use, for example, a mobile phone or tablet. If tears start to come, you can simply distract yourself and look on the Internet.
- Leave the premises when passions are heating up
If the situation has escalated to the limit, then, avoiding tears, you should leave the room where the unpleasant situation overtook you as quickly as possible. This decision will help you avoid tears, let go of the situation, and calm down.
After the tension has subsided, you can try to continue the conversation.
After the situation that could have caused you tears is left behind, you should do the following:
- Blot your face, neck, and arms up to the elbows with cool water. You can use an ice cube by placing it on your wrist
Wash your face - avoid tears
- Look in the mirror and smile, even when you don’t feel like it. Tell yourself everything is fine
- Think about something pleasant, if you wish, you can read a prayer
- Drink sweet tea
- Talk out, tell someone close about your worrying issue who can support you
